I GENUINELY dont know if i am or not....

[Penninepain]

This story could take a year to tell, so keeping it short.

Relative was in Carol Concert last night.
We live very, very rurally. 2.5 miles to B road ( after getting down half mile ungritted driveway).
We had said we were going, but had freezing rain and snow last night, so rang and let them know we could not get there.

To say we have been fucked over by not going is an understatement.

However, despite the Huuuuuge background, i want to ask a simple question:

AIBU not to risk life and limb to attend a carol concert 26 miles away when i am:
A. Snowed in and iced over
B. To fecking old to drive in shite weather

This person is exceptionally pissed off. I thought we were being sensible. What think you?

Would you consider having some therapy OP? Perhaps the "Transactional Analysis" type?

Use of the phrase "fucked over" in this context has been extensively enquired upon and picked apart already.

OP, I hope you're feeling a bit better about this. How have you responded to their toddler tantrumming?

He’s an arsehole.
He’s an arsehole for this, and an arsehole for liking a woman who told her daughter she wished she had died.
He’s an arsehole for not looking at 6 years of presents in your mum’s wardrobe and saying “stop treating your daughter like shit”.
You don’t even like him.

OP, seriously - get to a therapist in the new year, and work towards giving yourself permission to just break contact with this arsehole.

Hello OP, just wanted to say I think you should try to surround yourself with the people who love you and want to spend time with you. I don't think your step family are the right people to make you feel happy. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Families can be challenging but not all the time and should bring out the best in you. I hope you can draw a line under it ether before or after Christmas. X

Just wanted to thank everyone on this thread.

I think i couldnt see the wood for the trees until I read the responses!
I KNOW I am a people pleaser and play scenarios over and over in my mind when I feel I have let anyone down, which is my issue and I need to think 'sod it' a bit more😁

I will have him for Christmas this year, but that is it. I wont be visitng anymore out of a sense of duty, or ringing him (the phone lines only work one way).
I WILL stop feeling guilty about it.......eventually🙄

Once more, thank you for bringing me to my senses, and Merry Christmas everyone!

I think I probably would continue to host this year but plan not to next year. I would make sure someone is sober on Christmas Day so with the first sign of dissatisfaction you can take SD home. Nona Grey’s suggested texts are good.