To think this is rude? Facebook related

[ZoeZebra1]

I am not on Facebook and do not really like it for various reasons. I have previously told friend that I don't like it many times and that I would not want pictures of my children on there as I personally feel it's not right to put their pictures online and give them an online presence without their permission, it just seems disrespectful and I may inadvertently post something that embarrasses them in years to come. Also there are people (including mutual friends of this friend) who I avoid and would not want them to have access to pictures of my children purely because I don't want them to know anything about me or my life.

Everyone can do what they want with their own kids pictures, this is just my preference. I don't go on about it, but my feelings are known.

Last week friend came over with her kids for a pre Xmas get together, kids swapped presents, music, food etc. My friend had forgotten her camera so after I emailed her some of the pictures for her own record.

This morning while having coffee with another friend she commented that it looked like we had fun last week, and you've guessed it, she had put all the photos I sent her on Facebook including ones of my children, some just of my children and lots showing inside my house etc.

I'm more annoyed than anything as she knows my feelings and we have discussed it plenty of times. But I don't want to come across as controlling and silly... However having pictures showing my kids and house online makes me feel exposed I suppose and like my privacy has been invaded.

I know in a world where people post everything from their lunch to their toilet habits makes me the oddball here, but surely I have a right to my own choices? Somehow it adds insult to injury that they were pictures I took and sent her...

So AIBU to be annoyed?
Would you say anything? If so what?

@Valasca since it was first a word I guess!

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/photo

And if you scroll DOWN the dictionary link, it actually tells you...first used as a verb in 1868 🤷‍♀️

You take a photo or make a photo or are photoed but to photo?

It's a verb in your "are photoed" example as well

And yet the first time I come across it is this late in life? No.

She isnt much of a friend.

Valasca, you are so lazy. It's "take a photograph or make a photograph or be photographed".

Also I don't think you "make" a photograph. So lazy. Stop being lazy.

Thanks for all your messages. I haven't responded to her or heard any more from her but our mutual friend sent me a screenshot of a message she had received from our Facebooking friend basically taking the piss out of me.

She'd said 'thanks for letting the cat out the bag, Zoe has the hump with me now because I dared put her precious babies on Facebook. Does she think she's Kate Middleton and everyone wants a look or does she just think we're all pedo's! Seriously she needs to get a grip! 😂'

Mutual friend said she didn't respond but thought I should know that Facebook friend is not my friend at all. Am just a bit sad, can't believe after eight years of friendship that I treasured she could be so mean.

Back stabbing twat! Fuck her off and block her. No one needs that in their lives.

Not entirely surprised by her behaviour I'm afraid.

She's all about what she wants and only her opinion counts.

What is the friend she messaged going to do? Be careful there that she's not saying one thing to you and another to FB friend.

At this point you definitely need to do all you can to get these photos removed because I suspect FB friend also doesn't have great privacy settings as she's so blasé in her attitude.

Friendship is definitely over!

Yeah it did occur to me mutual friend is stirring the pot, she's nice but loves a gossip and is probably enjoying it all, so I am being quite reserved about it all with her, thanks for letting me know type thing .. but it may just be that I feel a bit stung and defensive and untrusting right now.

Bloody hell, I'd be fuming.
I'm not on SM, there's virtually no photos of DS on anyone's page (just some when he was a newborn, he's now 4) and I want to keep it that way as some of DP'S family are really unpleasant.

She is being so strange about this, what's so difficult to understand about someone else not wanting pictures of their kids on social media. It's not about thinking you're Kate Middleton it's just your page not theirs. It's pretty standard at any kids group or event - they say take pics of your own kids only and if there are any group shots then no social media.

It's such a simple thing and she has made it a massive issue by repeatedly and deliberately violating your trust and privacy by refusing this standard simple request

Sorry you had to find out she has so little respect for your wishes and feelings lke this

Send Facebook friend the screenshot from shit stirring friend.
Then bin them both off. You really can do better.

Totally out of order, she had no right to do that.
Her FB, her rules?! Erm, not when you're putting up pictures of others and the inside of their houses without permission!
If she won't take them down, report them to FB.
You can choose the "the photos are of me" option and that you don't give permission.
They should take them down for you if she won't.

Just seen your update
Cheeky fucking cow, I'd be fuming.
That's no friend. I use FB a lot and put pictures on, but I wouldn't dream of putting others kids on eg if I knew they didn't want me to.
It's not up to me, each to their own.

I’d send her a message saying that you’re reporting the photos, not because you think that you’re Kate Middleton or she’s a paedo but because you don’t want them online and she has disregarded your feelings. I’d also tell her not to worry about it going forward as you no longer wish to be part of her story.

Oh, and bin off the shit stirring one as well! Bad as each other, life's too short for that crap.

Mutual friend just sent me another screenshot where Facebook friend has posted a picture saying 'not sure if I just lost a friend, or if I just never had one to begin with.'

Can't believe how this has all blown up, feel so stupid and upset. An eight year friendship, and possibly another friendship, all over because of fucking Facebook! Especially when I stayed off Facebook because I hate the drama, the irony really is just so pathetic.

Bin off all friends to be honest because these sorts of minor transgressions happen in all sorts of ways with people over the years so if you can't cope with it cuddle up with a book instead

However I fully expect her to reply with a "my Facebook page, my choice/rules

You gave her intellectual property rights by giving her the photos

Bloody stupid but it's true

@busybarbara I have coped with plenty of minor transgressions but having my feelings disregarded and mocked is a deal-breaker for me. I have several very long term friendships which have survived all sorts but generally love, respect, and kindness are always there, even during disagreements. Curling up with a book sounds like a great idea though, so thanks for that.

An eight year friendship, and possibly another friendship, all over because of fucking Facebook!

I imagine if Facebook didn’t exist she would have let you down another way. She sounds like a dick. How on earth does it effect her if she has to remove your pictures from her Facebook? Never mind you being Kate Middleton, is she Kim Kardashian thinking people are hanging onto her every post?

Has she deleted the photos tho?

Oh and I’d have to bin her as a friend for ‘pedo’s’ both fit the idiocy and the superfluous apostrophe

For the idiocy. The irony, me criticising someone’s spelling