Food “allergies” and buffets

[rose789]

On Boxing Day we’re hosting 18 people for a buffet and I was really looking forward to it.
Sent a message out a few weeks ago to ask if any one had any dietary requirements. One of my friends has Coeliac disease so I was already making as much stuff as possible gluten free, and I’m planning on having a separate table for food that contains gluten to prevent cross contamination. All fine and dandy.
Couple of people have a shellfish allergy- no problem I won’t serve any.

My friends girlfriend messaged today. Backstory; they’ve been dating about 18 months, love my friend she’s a sweetheart but her girlfriend is so high maintenance. Everything has to be about her, there always has to be some drama every time we get together. I don’t like the woman but I always try to make an effort for my friends sake.

So she messaged this morning, to say that she couldn’t have gluten or wheat as she was allergic (crying face emojis galore)
I don’t believe her at all (I know I sound like bitch) but I have seen her eat gluten before (and recently) and she certainly didn’t show any ill effects. Messaged back to say not to worry friend X has ceoliac so there will be gf options.
Obviously didn’t give her the response she was looking for as she responded oh and did I tell you I was vegan?
Fuck off are you!! You decided to be vegan over night- nah mate.
I really want to respond back saying not to bother coming, but that will play right into her hands and give her the drama she wants. I think the only thing I can do is a message saying if she had told me this on X date when I asked I would have catered but it’s too late now. There will be salad on the table but she is welcome to bring her own food.
WWYD? And AIBU to want to punch her in the throat right now

Maybe say to her that sorry you have already bought the alcohol and none of it is vegan, so would she mind bringing some vegan alcohol if she wants some.

, guess what? Most people feel that way after eating a lot of bread, or any type of refined carbs
Anyone who eats a lot of anything gets bloated not just carbs

As someone with a medically diagnosed intolerance to gluten it does get frustrating that the fad thing is to say your intolerant I spent years of Dr's, dieticians and hellish elimination diets to get a diagnosis.

But on the flip side its meant higher demand for gf products which means better product choices and availability at a lower cost.

Would I choose a gf diet if I didn't have to?! Not a chance in hell! One of the few plus sides I've found to being pregnant is that the antibodies completely suppresses my response to gluten (found out accidentally after being given the wrong meal). I'm not stuffing my face with them but it does make life a lot easier for a while.

OP I think you have it spot on with the drama queen but catering for your bestie and I wish some of my friends/family would do the same.
I've had people deliberately "test" me by adding gluten containing ingredients to dinners. As I'm being sick in their house doubled over in pain 20 minutes later their response has usually been oh I didn't realise it was a real thing because your not celiac......

Mumsnet always seems to be divided on intolerance issues which I find frustrating!

she responded oh and did I tell you I was vegan?

I would confuse her by saying "Oh yes, I already knew that".

twiglet It is shit that friends did that to you. I know it is a real thing, but I also know that some people claim to be when they are not.

Please do not take this the wrong way, but as someone who does have an extensive food allergy list, including wheat, I personally wouldn’t eat from the buffet at all. There is always the risk of cross contamination, even on a separate table. Also, if cooking at home, and you are using the same pots/pans that you typically cook gluten containing food in, that’s also a potential contamination.

Whenever I go to a friend or families house, and food is being served, I bring my own. It’s just not worth the risk. It’s nice that you are trying to cater to everyone’s needs though.

How about a nice dish of sprouts for her, OP? Best put them on to boil now.

I'm sure some people 'adopt' intolerances they don't actually have, either because it's become fashionable, or because they think it lends them a certain importance or distinction.

Should add that I have relatives with genuine intolerances, one down to the side effects of cancer medication, and I'm always very happy to cater for them.

Anyone who eats a lot of anything gets bloated not just carbs
Exactly. I didn't realise for ages that when people said they were bloated, they usually just mean they are too full. I used to say I had never felt bloated. But I had felt too full - stuffed I call it, and had felt that full feeling you can get with a bad period.
Just eat less, or be greedy like I am and accept that sometimes you will feel too full. Its really not a big deal. And as someone who has been really ill at times, my mind boggles at the thought that feeling too full is anything to get worked up about. It really is a very minor inconvenience.

@abacucat my DH still refuses to speak to them because of it.

And yes I also know people who say they are intolerant when really they are not which gets my goat as I usually have to explain to new people that it's not a fad and yes I'm sensitive enough that cooking oil from shared friers will cause a response.

As an immunologist once told me an allergy is a specific immune response usually requiring epipens, celiac is an autoimmune disease and intolerance causes a response but it doesn't affect other organs.

IcedPurple

I know someone who claims to be 'gluten intolerant' but says that organic sourdough stoneground artisan loaves (have I missed anything?) cause her no problems! It's just the sliced bread that the plebs eat which she can't 'tolerate'.

That could be because of the 'flour improvers' in most ordinary breads. They're mixed with soya flour, the soya was what caused my DD's problems, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flour_treatment_agent

How badly a food intolerance affects you can change depending on how well you are. Normally anyone is well able to suppress the side effects, but if run down they become more noticeable. Important Note I may be talking out of my arse here, as I'm just basing my pontificating on what I've seen in relatives.

I may or may not be intolerant to gluten. I had the test four weeks after I stopped eating gluten, so when it came back negative, it may be that I'm not coeliac or it was a false negative. So I could be one of the annoying ones, except I don't get symptoms if I don't eat gluten.

The only reason I even thought about it was that I very suddenly developed severe eczema - lots of crusty oozing. It was horrific. When I had dressings changed, they crunched. I ended up on IV antibiotics at one point. One of the A&E doctors suggested it was dermatitis herpeti somthing or other. It's on the NHS website.

So from my experience, it is possible for gluten intolerance to come on suddenly, and it is possible that there will not be an immediate and obvious reaction to gluten (I don't react for a few hours, but then I'm scratting like a fleabag for weeks), but telling you that they're vegan when you didn't panic about gluten does sound like drama queen central.

My BIL was like this, last minute decide he was vegan or vegetarian and my Mum would have to panic make and buy food just for him as well as making all the food for the other guests. This is the guy who happily will eat roadkill (although I don’t for a minute believe he used to just ‘find’ a dead pheasant on the road as opposed to run it over on purpose). He’s also a massive (greedy) arsehole.

You just need to sort of ‘grey rock’ these people - don’t give them the satisfaction of being centre of attention.

Thanks to all the people who explained how to make a potato salad vegan. Think I'm going to try the vinaigrette suggestion first

I've had people deliberately "test" me by adding gluten containing ingredients to dinners.

I'm coeliac but I don't really react to gluten, not in an immediatley noticeable way. It doesn't mean it's not damaging my insides and increasing my risk of cancer though. It's horrendous that people think they can 'test'' to see if it's real or not.

I know someone who claims to be 'gluten intolerant' but says that organic sourdough stoneground artisan loaves (have I missed anything?) cause her no problems! It's just the sliced bread that the plebs eat which she can't 'tolerate'.

It's a recognised condition, and sufferers is it often find it easier to say they are coeliac/gluten-intolerant than explain it in detail. The Chorleywood process that's used to rapidly manufacture a standard loaf uses a rapid fermentation that doesn't fully breakdown some of the proteins and leaves awkward intermediate products. Traditional slow fermentation (sour dough, baguette) breaks down the proteins more comprehensively and is easier to digest.

I have coeliac disease, a friend has the intolerance described. I understand how it's easier for her to explain it quickly as being coeliac.

See www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/mar/23/sourdough-bread-gluten-intolerance-food-health-celiac-disease

Except there is cheaper bread that does not use the Chorleywood process. It does not have to be sourdough organic artisan bread.

My ds has CMPA and is also intolerant to egg, soya and gluten. It's an absolute pain in the arse. It was a steep learning curve at first, but we're in the groove now. Eating out is a pain. Even vegan restaurants, as so much vegan food involves soya.

There's a lot of products in the market now so once you've examined all the labels you can make most foods work somehow.

It's a recognised condition,

Is it a recognised condition? What are the tests? How is it defined?

Not saying it doesn't exist at all, but I strongly suspect that it's a lot less common than some would have us believe. Bread has been the staple diet of the poor for centuries. It's hard to believe that would have been the case if so many people are really 'gluten intolerant'.

and sufferers is it often find it easier to say they are coeliac/gluten-intolerant than explain it in detail.

Well, that's pretty irresponsible of them. Coeliacs can't tolerate even the slightest trace of gluten, as you know. For someone to claim they are "coeliac" when they can happily tuck into an organic home-baked artisan sourdough loaf gives a highly - and for genuine coeliacs, dangerously - misleading view of the condition.

Make her some gf pasta and plain tomato sauce with herbs, salt/pepper serve it with the pasta, very easy without having to put yourself out. If she does not like it, tough, she can eat something else later. Sounds like she will be helping herself to the normal buffet, but just likes to make a drama.

That could be because of the 'flour improvers' in most ordinary breads.

But then they're not gluten intolerant.

But the woman who eats the organic artisan bread knows that she can eat it abacucat. She probably doesn't know exactly what she's reacting to which is what she needs to be able to work out exactly what bread she can and can't eat.

I have reactions to various foods, some painful some minor, I just avoid eating that food/brand again and stick to the ones that I know are ok. For instance I sometimes get gut pain from processed pork, especially cheaper brands of bacon, but I buy the bacon that I know that I can eat, often take a chance on the bacon in foody places, and don't eat the bacon in cheap cafes.

That is not an intolerance though.

Sorry, my point about the cheap bacon is that I don't know what exactly causes the problem so reading the ingredients doesn't help, but I do know that certain brands (invariably the more expensive, hand-crafted stuff) don't cause a problem so I stick to them. It doesn't mean that the issue exists only in my imagination.

And gut pain? Do you mean a stomach ache?

But the woman who eats the organic artisan bread knows that she can eat it abacucat.

Not neccessarily. A lot of 'sourdough' bread is actually 'normal' bread with 'sourdough flavouring'. Someone with a real intolerance of gluten would not eat a big sandwich or pizza made from flour containing gluen, no matter how organic and artisan.

I have reactions to various foods, some painful some minor, I just avoid eating that food/brand again and stick to the ones that I know are ok

I suspect most of us have 'reactions' to food now and again. Not the same thing as a medical intolerance.