Food “allergies” and buffets

[rose789]

On Boxing Day we’re hosting 18 people for a buffet and I was really looking forward to it.
Sent a message out a few weeks ago to ask if any one had any dietary requirements. One of my friends has Coeliac disease so I was already making as much stuff as possible gluten free, and I’m planning on having a separate table for food that contains gluten to prevent cross contamination. All fine and dandy.
Couple of people have a shellfish allergy- no problem I won’t serve any.

My friends girlfriend messaged today. Backstory; they’ve been dating about 18 months, love my friend she’s a sweetheart but her girlfriend is so high maintenance. Everything has to be about her, there always has to be some drama every time we get together. I don’t like the woman but I always try to make an effort for my friends sake.

So she messaged this morning, to say that she couldn’t have gluten or wheat as she was allergic (crying face emojis galore)
I don’t believe her at all (I know I sound like bitch) but I have seen her eat gluten before (and recently) and she certainly didn’t show any ill effects. Messaged back to say not to worry friend X has ceoliac so there will be gf options.
Obviously didn’t give her the response she was looking for as she responded oh and did I tell you I was vegan?
Fuck off are you!! You decided to be vegan over night- nah mate.
I really want to respond back saying not to bother coming, but that will play right into her hands and give her the drama she wants. I think the only thing I can do is a message saying if she had told me this on X date when I asked I would have catered but it’s too late now. There will be salad on the table but she is welcome to bring her own food.
WWYD? And AIBU to want to punch her in the throat right now

Just ignore the drama or attempt at it and play it cool, some people like to be the centre of everything and I have no doubt that on the day she will announce she can't eat something for some stupid reason. Just smile and nod and think 'dickhead' 😂

Loads of recipes for it here @PurpleDaisies - Kartoffelsalat

It's actually stupidly easy to make gluten free vegan food, don't know why it's such a drama.
When I cater for groups I usually make the whole lot like that to save having to ask who has what needs. But I guess my circles are more into that kid of eating than half the aggressive posters on this thread!

I'm sure OP has NO issues catering for people with genuine dietary requirements. This woman however seems an absolute PITA and I wouldn't want to be catering to her just for the sake of it. If she genuinely was vegan she'd have said so when she said she was GF. Which when the OP has seen her eating gluten she clearly isn't she's just an awkward CF!

Fwiw loads of people lie about being gluten free. I owned a restaurant, that provided gluten free food. We had a separate kitchen for it. Loads of people would say they need the gluten free option and then eat off the plates of their friends who hadn't ordered gluten free.

I'm wheat intolerant but it's often easier to ask for the gluten free menu. I do usually explain that I don't eat wheat but it's not strict in terms of cross contamination like a nut allergy.

Last time we ate out, I looked at the gluten free menu and asked if I could have chips instead of a jacket potato. I was told that they weren't gluten free. I established that they weren't coated in flour and it was because they were cooked in the same oil as the battered fish. I explained that would be ok for me as it was an intolerance rather than an allergy. Everyone was fine about it but whether the chef got such a detailed explanation is another matter. Very occasionally, I might have a very tiny taste (and I mean tiny) of someone's dessert especially if it's only ice cream that's suitable for me

My DC, who is allergic to nuts, was bluntly told that she couldn't eat anything. What they meant was that they couldn't guarantee cross contamination which is fairly standard. They had a comprehensive allergy ingredients list so it was perfectly ok for her to eat provided that she accepted the risk of cross contamination. We ask the waier to flag it up with the chef so that they, hopefully, take extra care when preparing her food.

Teddy has the right idea. First indication of anything to pass her lips that isn't on plan, you need to be over there like a ninja to smack it out of her hand. And tell her that wine is filtered by fish scales, so she mustn't have any, sadly, but you really admire her self-sacrifice

It's actually stupidly easy to make gluten free vegan food, don't know why it's such a drama.
When I cater for groups I usually make the whole lot like that to save having to ask who has what needs. But I guess my circles are more into that kid of eating than half the aggressive posters on this thread

What are you implying?

That's there's something superior about 'circles' who enjoy parties where the only food available is 'gluten free vegan'? Sounds dull to me, and I was a vegetarian for a few decades.

Only a tiny minority of people have genuine gluten intolerance, and those who do are usually very careful to inform hosts about this at the first opportunity, often offering to bring their own food. The fact that this person has treated it as an afterthought leads me to suspect that her 'intolerance' is likely within her own head.

There are so many people, mainly women, with disordered eating and intolerances has become a way to justify these.

Boil her some veggies and tell her to crack on. Bet she will be helping herself from that buffet faster than you know Or just boil her some pasta do a plain tomatoes sauce.

DP has an actual allergy to walnuts, although not a life threatening one. He knows immediately if he has eaten something with walnuts in as he get sores in his mouth within a few minutes. If you can eat something when you choose to and it is fine, then there is no issue at all.

abacucat, I am allergic to Walnuts and Kiwi, in the same way as your husband. Same with pecans too. Not life threatening, but feel my throat tighten a bit and sore.

**whatwouldyoubelikeat28

It's actually stupidly easy to make gluten free vegan food, don't know why it's such a drama.
When I cater for groups I usually make the whole lot like that to save having to ask who has what needs. But I guess my circles are more into that kid of eating than half the aggressive posters on this thread!**

Making gluten free options isn’t a drama when someone has an actual need. I’m already gladly making as much food gf as possible and keeping non gf separate (eg nice bread buns) I’m not having anything containing shellfish because 2 people are allergic.
I’m not going to the added expense of buying vegan food to pander to her need for drama.
We went out 2 months ago to a steakhouse where she happily ate a steak plus all of the non gf sides (fries,onion rings which definitely are not gf) and like I said she had absolutely no ill effects that night.
As I’ve already said I’m my original post she thrives on drama and has to be the center of attention which is why I don’t believe for one minute that she has changed her entire belief system AND acquired an allergy within the space of 2 months.

There are so many people, mainly women, with disordered eating and intolerances has become a way to justify these.

I think it's more that people didn't understand about food intolerance in the past. I don't have any food intolerances myself, but being Irish I'm surrounded by friends/relatives who are either coeliac or wheat intolerant. It's just a fact of life that it's a problem that affects Irish people more than others. My DD has a problem with soya - which, like wheat, is added to a lot of bread and flour. Why eat something if you know it's going to cause skin or breathing problems or bring on migraines?

Of course some people do it as attention-seeking, but that doesn't mean that others don't have genuine food allergies or intolerances.

It's actually stupidly easy to make gluten free vegan food, don't know why it's such a drama

Gluten free & vegan finger food suitable for a buffet?

In my experience, 95% of items on what passes for a standard buffet, will contain gluten

t being Irish I'm surrounded by friends/relatives who are either coeliac or wheat intolerant. It's just a fact of life that it's a problem that affects Irish people more than others

Is this a fact? I'm not being snarky, it's a genuine question.

According to the Coeliac Socity of Ireland, about 1% of the population is coeliac, the same as in most other parts of the world.

I disagree. People with migraines have been educated to identify triggers for decades and that includes whether some foods are a trigger. So not new at all.
If eating something causes breathing problems or a rash, then that would also have been identified decades ago, as elimination diets were common under medical supervision for issues such as this.
What is new is - I was feeling a bit tired/run down, so I stopped eating wheat as I thought I might be wheat intolerant. Either than simply recognising that nobody feels 100% all the time and that probably is to do with a lack of good sleep, lack of exercise, too much alcohol and poor eating. But I guess doing something about these takes much more effort.

There are so many people, mainly women, with disordered eating and intolerances has become a way to justify these.

I think there's also a certain kind of trendiness to it - you're nobody unless you're 'intolerant' of at least one common food type! And there's almost a sort of snobbery to it too - I know someone who claims to be 'gluten intolerant' but says that organic sourdough stoneground artisan loaves (have I missed anything?) cause her no problems! It's just the sliced bread that the plebs eat which she can't 'tolerate'.

Hand her a lettuce on the way in but remind her to leave some for the rabbits.

It's just the sliced bread that the plebs eat which she can't 'tolerate'.

My personal view is not to worry to much about catering for everyone.
If people have got dietary requirements then they can bring something they can eat or just pick out the things that are ok for them.

I'd never expect to go into someone else's home / party and for them to have gone to trouble over me. I'd just find something suitable and not make a fuss!!! I keep snack bars in my handbag and car for this very reason as I can't eat certain things.

What is new is - I was feeling a bit tired/run down, so I stopped eating wheat as I thought I might be wheat intolerant.

Yup. And I've heard people say 'Oh when I eat pizza or a big sandwich I feel bloated and have a bit of a stomach ache." Well, guess what? Most people feel that way after eating a lot of bread, or any type of refined carbs. That's just the effect they have on our bodies. It's not 'intolerance' - it's just your digestive system doing its thing.

My friend who has coeliac ends up eating chips from chip shops a lot when she is out as it is one of the things that tends to be okay - although she gets bored of eating chips. If you choose the boring option when there is much nicer healthier food there, it is probably genuine. If you go for the nicer healthier food, it is a faddy choice.

Love the idea of a special 'gluten free, vegan' plate and glass of water with lemon! That way, you look like you've made a special effort and she is then restricted from eating anything else. Make a big thing of it too, so everyone will 'help' her avoid all the other lovely stuff she can't eat.

Also understand why some schools are now requesting a Drs note when parents say their kid is allergic or intolerant to certain foods.

Most of the booze won't be vegan someif the booze wont be gluten free either.
Op
My family parties include celiac, nut and seed allergy, and a vegetarian and dairy free. Its not easy