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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I would think this is common courtesy but maybe I’m wrong

131 replies

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 16:52

I was at Costco this morning and for some reason the lines were astronomical. Everyone in all lines had their baskets filled to the brim with stuff, including us. There was one woman at the check out, one more woman waiting and then us (so second in line) with about 6 people with completely full baskets behind us. An elderly woman was looking at the lines, and you could see she only had one item in her hands (a package of raspberries). I asked her if she would like to go in front of us because she only had one item. She was so sweet and said “no that’s not fair, I’m just going to put them back.” I asked if she was sure. The lady behind me goes, “oh don’t be silly! Of course go ahead of them!” So she did and thanked us several times. The two people behind the other woman started bitching that she shouldn’t be allowed to cut the line and how wrong it was, how it’s not fair etc...

Was I being completely unreasonable, or wouldn’t most people let someone, especially someone elderly, with one item, go ahead of them?

OP posts:
ReverseGiraffe · 14/12/2018 16:55

Ywnbu, I always let someone in front of me if they only have one item and I have a massive shop. It's the nice thing to do.

hidinginthenightgarden · 14/12/2018 16:55

I think it is the nice thing to do.
Also - Costco is always mad on Fridays mornings!

Norma27 · 14/12/2018 16:56

I agree with you. Some people are just grumpy dicks!

itbemay · 14/12/2018 16:56

I would always let someone with one item go before me, especially someone older.

abacucat · 14/12/2018 16:56

I wouldn't care, but I thought etiquette was that you let people go in front of you if they are directly behind you, but not otherwise.

ScreamingValenta · 14/12/2018 16:58

I think it's a nice thing to do, but I wouldn't offer unless I was the only one in the queue - or, if there were others behind me, I'd ask them before letting someone in. It's a bit presumptuous to assume everyone else will be on board with your friendly gesture - someone behind might be in a real hurry, or have difficulty standing for long periods.

happyinherts · 14/12/2018 16:58

It seems that some people wouldn't - but having been the recipient of such a kind gesture, I do look out for someone behind me with one or two items and ask if they'd like to go in front.

It's a kind gesture, and those who complain about it are being a bit selfish. We'll all be old one day and waiting around in queues is difficult. I don't mean inviting all and sundry with one item to go ahead, but yes, it's common courtesy to look out for others.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 14/12/2018 16:59

YANBU she had one thing! Although once I let a frail lady in front of me in the bus queue and people behind me complained.

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/12/2018 16:59

It's really difficult, isn't it? Of course you let someone go in front of you if they have very few items and you've got a lot - but if you're in a long queue, what you're doing in effect is telling everyone else in the queue and that they've got to let the person go in front too. You're deciding for them that they are going to do her a favour.

It's a bit like when you're queuing in the car in a busy High Street, the queue is getting longer by the minute, and up in front you see a side road joining, and every time a car rolls up to the junction someone helpfully lets them into the main queue.

TwistedStitch · 14/12/2018 16:59

I always offer to let people go in front of me if they only have one or two items but I wouldn't invite someone to jump ahead of other people too, I think that's rude.

Shazafied · 14/12/2018 16:59

I always let people with only 1 or 2 items ahead !

happyinherts · 14/12/2018 17:00

Oh didn't realise the lady with one item wasn't directly behind you. In such case, you should really ask everyone else behind you, I guess.

Harrykanesrightsock · 14/12/2018 17:00

Funnily enough a guy behind us in Costco last week asked to cut infront of us as he only had two items. Having seen we had a trolley maybe assumed we had a load where in fact we had two bags of dog food. He was very put out when I said no.

MadisonAvenue · 14/12/2018 17:05

I do this in Aldi but sometimes it leaves me with a dilemma because they usually only have one till open on the evenings and it seems a lot just call in for a couple of items. Quite often I let one person jump ahead of me only to have another shopper with a one or two things join the queue behind me a moment later, and then another. When do you stop letting people go in front? They’ve just joined the queue so won’t have seen me let the lady being served go ahead of me.

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 17:07

I just can’t see why people would be upset by that. It took less than 2 minutes for her to pay and check out.

Our Costco usuallybisnt thta crazy on a Friday morning, it’s usually pretty dead.

As for others being in a rush-I highly doubt someone is in that big of a rush to the point they have a full cart and can afford a 1 minute delay.

But I guess not everyone thinks the same.

OP posts:
BoebePhuffay · 14/12/2018 17:09

I’d have offered to put her raspberries in with my shopping tbh. That way she isn’t technically queue jumping.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/12/2018 17:11

I always let them go ahead as well, I've also been on the receiving end as well and I was very grateful.

diddl · 14/12/2018 17:18

I let people directly behind me with one or two items go ahead, but if they are behind others, then I leave it to them to decide.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/12/2018 17:20

I always let people go ahead of me when I have a basket full. One time I let about 6 people go ahead of me. They had only one or two items and I was in no hurry. I would feel poorly if they were stuck behind me when their transaction will take barely a minute.

Turquoise123 · 14/12/2018 17:28

I would see this as automatic.

OneMoreNameHiccup · 14/12/2018 17:28

Absolutely that's a lovely thing to do! Can't believe people complained.

jessstan2 · 14/12/2018 17:28

You were quite correct to let the lady with one item go in front of you, The others were rude and inconsiderate. I've had the same experience btw and was quite shocked at some attitudes.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/12/2018 17:30

As PP have said, you are effectively making everyone else in the line join in your kind gesture. Also, those in a hurry might wonder if you are the sort of virtue-signalling twat who's going to keep on letting people with only one item go ahead of you...

cordelia16 · 14/12/2018 17:33

I think it was very nice of you to let her go ahead of you. In order to hush the people behind me in the queue, I probably would have put the lady's raspberries in with my shop ... (and then paid for them).

People harp on all the time about how special Christmas is, but then don't follow the basic tenets of good will and compassion.

TonTonMacoute · 14/12/2018 17:34

Yes. If I am doing a big shop I always let someon with only one or two items go ahead of me. Other people have often done it for me too.

It makes no difference at all to the other people who are behind us.

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