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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I would think this is common courtesy but maybe I’m wrong

131 replies

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 16:52

I was at Costco this morning and for some reason the lines were astronomical. Everyone in all lines had their baskets filled to the brim with stuff, including us. There was one woman at the check out, one more woman waiting and then us (so second in line) with about 6 people with completely full baskets behind us. An elderly woman was looking at the lines, and you could see she only had one item in her hands (a package of raspberries). I asked her if she would like to go in front of us because she only had one item. She was so sweet and said “no that’s not fair, I’m just going to put them back.” I asked if she was sure. The lady behind me goes, “oh don’t be silly! Of course go ahead of them!” So she did and thanked us several times. The two people behind the other woman started bitching that she shouldn’t be allowed to cut the line and how wrong it was, how it’s not fair etc...

Was I being completely unreasonable, or wouldn’t most people let someone, especially someone elderly, with one item, go ahead of them?

OP posts:

Grumblepants · 14/12/2018 17:34

This reminds me of shopping yesterday. I was in a the supermarket with a full trolley and one away from being served. The guy behind me had 3 items so I asked him if he would like to go in front of me, to which he shrugged his shoulders did a lip sneer and said "sure". No thank you or even a smile! I was completely . It was as if he genuinely thought he was doing me a favour.

onlywanttosleep · 14/12/2018 17:38

I was once in the middle of a bus queue of 3 people. The bus came and said it only had room for one. The lady in front of me turned to the lady behind me, who she clearly knew, and let her get on as "she had to go to work". So did I but I had to wait for the next bus. I was fuming. This was about 10 years ago and I still get annoyed if I see either of them about the place. (first world problems).

So I agree, if it's just you in the queue you should let her go first but in this scenario you were choosing for the whole queue.

ISdads · 14/12/2018 17:38

Definitely not following queue etiquette, hence the grumbling. You let the person queuing directly behind you go in front, not some randomer walking past and not even in the queue. Nice thing to do though.

Original poster

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 17:42

I would have no issue putting her raspberries in our shop, but we had a very very full cart. She would have had a relatively long wait waiting for us checking out.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this gesture many times at work in uniform and have people complain then too. I usually decline, even if it means having to leave my stuff behind because the radio goes off. I guess I just assumed everyone did this.

OP posts:

DGRossetti · 14/12/2018 17:48

Don't know about common courtesy, but I was intrigued to see "lines" instead of "queues" ?

JustABetterPlayer · 14/12/2018 17:49

Nope it’s perfectly decent and reasonable, whether it’s an old lady or teenager.

Craft1905 · 14/12/2018 17:53

You are perfectly entitled to let someone go in front of you, but you are not entitled to make that decision for other people, and invite someone to go in front of them. You were unbelievably rude. I'd have been angry too. Not that she went in front of me, but that you decided on my behalf that she should go in front of me.

What were you thinking?

VeryQuaintIrene · 14/12/2018 17:53

Of course it was the right thing to do. But Christmas preparation tends to bring out the worst in people.

TwistedStitch · 14/12/2018 17:54

Are people missing that this woman wasn't in the queue and OP invited her to push in front of several other people who were already waiting?

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 17:58

If she had been right behind me then I would definitely let her go ahead of me. But I think you were rude to make that decision for six other people in the queue who were also ahead of her.

Other people could be in a rush, feeling unwell or tired. And the transaction might have taken a while, card rejected, no bar code.

Almondio · 14/12/2018 18:06

I always do this, and if someone complained, I'd let others cut in too, just to piss off the complainers.

Same as when driving and letting people out from side roads in slow moving traffic. Idiot guy behind me the other day was apoplectic with rage at me letting two people out, beeping and flipping the bird. So, I let more out, naturally and watched him rage.

Craft1905 · 14/12/2018 18:15

If the side road was some distance in front of you, and traffic was crawling along, would you get out of your car, run in front of the 3 cars in front of you, and force them to let someone out of the side road? That's effectively what the OP did.

Original poster

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 18:15

“What were you thinking?“

I was thinking it was the decent thing to do and I’d be happy if someone did that for me.

We had been in line for maybe 10 minutes, so the people behind us had been waiting less than ten minutes so far. Didn’t think one more minute would be such an issue.

OP posts:

Original poster

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 18:22

Good to know. Won’t do it again then.

OP posts:

Craft1905 · 14/12/2018 18:23

We had been in line for maybe 10 minutes, so the people behind us had been waiting less than ten minutes so far. Didn’t think one more minute would be such an issue.

You can make that decision for yourself, and let her go in front of you, but not for other people. Can you not see that?

Original poster

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 18:24

Is there a reason you are being so hostile?

I’ve clearly said I won’t be doing it again.

OP posts:

YoThePussy · 14/12/2018 18:25

I do this for others and really appreciate it when it is done for me.

Beware though the person who appears to to have one item but is holding a place in the queue for their partner or whoever. They then arrive with an overflowing trolley and the rest of the queue lynch you.

Omzlas · 14/12/2018 18:27

Who pissed on their cornflakes this morning?

I'd have done the same thing

Bloody humbugs

HauntedPencil · 14/12/2018 18:29

I think it's reasonably fair to think people wouldn't mind.

"What were you thinking"

It's hardly a huge deal is it? Maybe you could have asked behind you. Meh.

Original poster

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 18:30

“Beware though the person who appears to to have one item but is holding a place in the queue for their partner or whoever. They then arrive with an overflowing trolley and the rest of the queue lynch you.”

This clearly wasn’t the case because she was about to leave and put them back.

OP posts:

Flowerpot2005 · 14/12/2018 18:31

I think that was really considerate of you OP.

Let people bitch but one day, they may appreciate such kindness & realise how much it means because you never know what another person is dealing with.

Flowerpot2005 · 14/12/2018 18:32

P.S one item will hardly delay anyone behind unless they pay in 1p's lol

melin · 14/12/2018 18:32

Your Costco has baskets?! Ours only has trolleys!

TigerMummy1 · 14/12/2018 18:33

It was a nice gesture but I'd be wary of doing it when there are others behind you in the queue. I have an invisible disability and those extra two minutes standing would really matter to me. You'd never know it from looking at me, and you certainly wouldn't think to let me queue jump (and I wouldn't ask) but this kind of really well meaning gesture could really hurt me and others like me. So I think ywbu but meant well - but next time check with the people behind you please!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/12/2018 18:34

Never in my life have I seen anyone with only one small thing in Costco.

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