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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I would think this is common courtesy but maybe I’m wrong

131 replies

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 16:52

I was at Costco this morning and for some reason the lines were astronomical. Everyone in all lines had their baskets filled to the brim with stuff, including us. There was one woman at the check out, one more woman waiting and then us (so second in line) with about 6 people with completely full baskets behind us. An elderly woman was looking at the lines, and you could see she only had one item in her hands (a package of raspberries). I asked her if she would like to go in front of us because she only had one item. She was so sweet and said “no that’s not fair, I’m just going to put them back.” I asked if she was sure. The lady behind me goes, “oh don’t be silly! Of course go ahead of them!” So she did and thanked us several times. The two people behind the other woman started bitching that she shouldn’t be allowed to cut the line and how wrong it was, how it’s not fair etc...

Was I being completely unreasonable, or wouldn’t most people let someone, especially someone elderly, with one item, go ahead of them?

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 14/12/2018 18:35

Not unreasonable at all.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/12/2018 18:38

I was in Sainsburys a while ago, a lady (maybe early 60s) had a couple of items , no basket.
Kind other shopper offers to let her go ahead.
She then calls over her DH with a full trolley ............ Shock

I lollygagged as long as I could to witness the inevitable punch up, but I was denied.

It's like Place Hogging in a queue and waiting for someone (aka Here's a novel idea , buy your fucking shopping THEN^ join the queue " Hmm )

Brazenhussy0 · 14/12/2018 18:38

It is common courtesy but, as you've discovered, not everyone is particularly courteous. Plenty of self-centred arseholes about but try not to let them get to you.

BeanTownNancy · 14/12/2018 18:41

Often if I have a whole trolley or basket full of shopping, I'll be likely be still unloading some of my shit on the belt long after the person with one item has paid and left. It's not actually holding anyone up.

People are so uptight. I think what you did was nice.

Original poster
Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 18:44

“Never in my life have I seen anyone with only one small thing in Costco.”

Not normal here either. I’m assuming she may have already gone through the lien, got to her car as like “crap, raspberries”. Or it’s the only store she could get to. Not my business why she was only buying raspberries.

OP posts:
Inthetropics · 14/12/2018 18:44

I'm going against the grain here as i think YABU.

I had people who were in front of me in a queue do this and i find it very annoying because they are not just letting the person go before them, they are letting the person go before everyone who is already waiting.

You have no idea how many time available other people have or what personal challenges they might be going through. 2 minutes can make a big diference if a person is shopping on their lunch break of if they are in pain carrying their groceries (this is often my case).

I see you meant well and were trying to be nice which is lovely, but please ask the people behind you if they mind if you must do it (but know some people will say it's okay even though they think it isn't out ou politeness).

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 18:46

I think that was really considerate of you

No it wasn't. It showed no consideration whatsoever to the six people she decided would have to queue for longer whilst she virtue signals.

MakeAHouseAHome · 14/12/2018 18:49

YABU. You shouldn't have offered unless she was directly behind you. Other people are in a rush to....

OlobobTop · 14/12/2018 18:59

I always let people with 1 or just a few things in front especially when I've got a trolly full.

Once in Aldi there was about 4 people in the queue behind me with 1 or 2 things one after another, but by the time I'd realised i'd already let one person go so I had to let them all 😂

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 19:03

@olobobtop

Ffs have you read the thread. Everybody agrees it is fine to let people in front of you. This OP decided that a whole queue of people should have to let somebody in just because she decided to, like she is the flipping queen or something.

Jux · 14/12/2018 19:04

"not queue etiquette"????? WTF? It's always been queue etiquette! It's ben queue etiquette since befor I was born, my mum did it, my grandmother did it, I expect her grandmother did it!

Not queue etiquette, my foot. FGS! What bollocks. It's just that so many people have no manners or consideration these days.

StartingGrid · 14/12/2018 19:05

Busy missing the point of the thread here as I cant understand how someone could go to Costco and only buy one punnet of raspberries?!

ISdads · 14/12/2018 19:10

It isn't queue etiquette at all to invite someone not even in a queue to just go in front of the whole queue! Hence the grumbles. I have never seen that done, ever, by anyone.

OlobobTop · 14/12/2018 19:12

Fucking hell @Alfie190 chill your beans Hmm

I actually don't see anything wrong with what she did, it was 1 person with 1 item, not really going to take long to pay is it. But obviously some people are just really fucking inconsiderate, much like you.

Doobydoobeedoo · 14/12/2018 19:16

If you allow someone directly behind you to go in front, it doesn't inconvenience anyone else. They will still be waiting for the same number of people, only in a different order.

It works because you have merely swapped places with another person. The truly generous thing to have done would have been to swap places with the woman with the raspberries and then joined the back of the queue. You would have done your good deed and would have been the only person to be inconvenienced by your actions.

It was a nice thought but you unilaterally decided that everyone behind you should have to wait for longer.

dinosaurglitterrepublic · 14/12/2018 19:28

Does it really take two whole minutes to scan and pay for a single item? I would say it is way under that. In any event, I don’t think I would have a paddy because someone unilaterally decided an elderly lady can pay for a single item ahead of me. Yes, it would mean I had to queue a tiny bit longer, but it isn’t that much of a hardship is it? Some people are just so petty.

Justkeeprollingalong · 14/12/2018 19:28

@Elphie54 Don't let the miserable posters put you off. It was a kind thing to do.

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 19:38

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Flowerpot2005 · 14/12/2018 19:41

Alfie190

It was ONE item, how much delay could it have caused others?

Alfie190 · 14/12/2018 19:45

It was ONE item, how much delay could it have caused others?

No idea. Anything from two minutes to ten minutes whilst they counted out payment in pennies, card failed, bar code wouldn't scan, chatted to operator. It is irrelevant anyway, it is not my place to decide that other people should queue for longer.

Somebody else got it right, if OP really did want to be so noble they should have offered the lady her position in queue and joined the back herself.

OlobobTop · 14/12/2018 19:48

Because I am not an arrogant twat like you or OP

Are you sure about that Grin

Torsz · 14/12/2018 20:03

I have to admit I'd be frustrated by this - it's fine to let someone who's directly behind you go in front ie to swap places with them (and thus have no impact on anyone else) but it's not fair to decide that everyone in the queue should have to wait for a longer time to be served. You have no idea what their individual circumstances are, and that extra delay could actually be a big problem for them - and it's not your call to decide to let someone queue jump!
It's one of those things that might feel like you're being really nice but you could actually be causing real issues for one or more people, and you'd probably never even know it.

Craft1905 · 14/12/2018 20:21

It was a nice gesture but I'd be wary of doing it when there are others behind you in the queue. I have an invisible disability and those extra two minutes standing would really matter to me. You'd never know it from looking at me, and you certainly wouldn't think to let me queue jump (and I wouldn't ask) but this kind of really well meaning gesture could really hurt me and others like me. So I think ywbu but meant well - but next time check with the people behind you please!

All those saying the OP was right and everyone else are just miserable sods, did any of you actually read this post.

Dotty1970 · 14/12/2018 20:52

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Original poster
Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 21:16

The people saying 2 extra minutes of standing would bother them, what if there was more people in front of you naturally anyway? Not trying to be rude, genuine question.

OP posts: