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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I would think this is common courtesy but maybe I’m wrong

131 replies

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 16:52

I was at Costco this morning and for some reason the lines were astronomical. Everyone in all lines had their baskets filled to the brim with stuff, including us. There was one woman at the check out, one more woman waiting and then us (so second in line) with about 6 people with completely full baskets behind us. An elderly woman was looking at the lines, and you could see she only had one item in her hands (a package of raspberries). I asked her if she would like to go in front of us because she only had one item. She was so sweet and said “no that’s not fair, I’m just going to put them back.” I asked if she was sure. The lady behind me goes, “oh don’t be silly! Of course go ahead of them!” So she did and thanked us several times. The two people behind the other woman started bitching that she shouldn’t be allowed to cut the line and how wrong it was, how it’s not fair etc...

Was I being completely unreasonable, or wouldn’t most people let someone, especially someone elderly, with one item, go ahead of them?

OP posts:
MrMeSeeks · 15/12/2018 02:40

Yabu, if she’d actually been behind you in the queue ok, but you offeredher a place over people who had already been waiting.
it doesn't make someone a twat or miserable etc as some posters have nicely put it, but they may have disabilities and you could be adding to their pain.

Torsz · 15/12/2018 07:28

Op - just to say you clearly meant well and have been lovely in your responses, which is really refreshing!

Shazafied · 15/12/2018 09:14

What a load of miserable gits on here. It was a box of raspberries!

Merry Christmas you grumpy sods.

HidDis · 15/12/2018 09:32

Yeah, You were making the whole queue do the woman a favour while only you got credit for your "kindness".

It would have upset me if I'd been behind you as I have hidden disabilities.

Also, plenty of older CFs who play on their age, appearance and social conditioning.

If you wanted to do her a 'courtesy' that you should have given up you place in the queue and gone to the back.

Boredspice · 15/12/2018 09:35

Yanbu. Age doesn’t come into it, if someone has a tiny amount then they can skip ahead. It is just the nice thing to do and it takes 3minutes!

MaryBoBary · 15/12/2018 09:39

I had a similar situation in Aldi this week, but I was the person with one item. I was happily stood at the back of the queue when the woman on the tolls called me forward and told everyone else “I’ll serve this lady first because she only has one item”. I looked to the people at the front of the queue who seemed a bit confused but happy enough for me to go in front. IT WAS SO AWKWARD. I hadn’t asked to be bumped to the front but felt the need to apologise/thank everyone in the queue (in typically British fashion) as I walked past them all.

In the original post I think this is fine and anyone moaning must be a moron, but I felt quite bad doing it myself. I’m not elderly btw.

Zbag · 15/12/2018 09:42

Sorry, but yabu. Its not fair on the people behind you and you can't make that decision for everyone in the que.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 15/12/2018 09:51

you have reminded me why i dont want to go shopping today!

greendale17 · 15/12/2018 10:23

I always offer to let people go in front of me if they only have one or two items but I wouldn't invite someone to jump ahead of other people too, I think that's rude.

^I agree

Howdoyoudoit31 · 15/12/2018 10:46

I always let people with one item go in front of me if I have a lot.

I wouldn’t be happy though if a till assistant decided someone from the back should go before me. It’s my choice to let someone go in front not theirs.

Original poster
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 13:17

I’m sorry to those who may have hidden disabilities. I didn’t realize that 2 extra minutes could make such a problem for you (genuine, not sarcastic). It honestly didn’t even cross my mind. Won’t do it again.

OP posts:
mamagrinandbearit · 15/12/2018 13:42

I always let people in front if they've got one item and in doing a big shop.

someone let me ahead in Tesco when I was alone with my screaming poorly ds and was buying calpol and it was such a nice gesture it made my day a little bit easier!

greeneyedlulu · 15/12/2018 17:28

You did the right thing and doing something kind is never anything to feel bad about!

Blacktoffeecat · 15/12/2018 17:30

I always do this in Aldi if the person behind has a basket and I have a trolley, they’re through before I’ve unpacked. Not sure i’d do it to jump someone in front of someone else as well as me though, they might get funny (as it sounds as though they did)

MrsPeel · 15/12/2018 17:39

Gosh, that must have lengthened everybody's wait by at least 30 seconds no wonder they were grumpy!

Original poster
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 17:47

“Gosh, that must have lengthened everybody's wait by at least 30 seconds no wonder they were grumpy!”

That was my train of thought too, but the consensus seems to be don’t do that! So lesson learned.

OP posts:
Justaboy · 15/12/2018 17:56

Be there peace on earth and in the temple of Mammon - Not!

anniehm · 15/12/2018 18:04

Yanbu, I would do the same. Happens in Aldi all the time and never has anyone complained.

nicoala1 · 15/12/2018 18:07

@cordelia16

My sentiments entirely too. A lot of hypocrisy can abound at this time.

Happy Christmas everyone anyway. Do the right thing for the right reasons.

Nearly47 · 15/12/2018 18:20

I can't believe people are even arguing about this. Of course you let the elderly lady with one single item jump the queue.Confused

ToftyAC · 15/12/2018 18:22

Jesus! It’s the nice thing to do, especially as she was elderly. I’ve done it loads in the supermarket and folk have done it for me. I thought it was the norm. As for those bitching? Bah humbug to them!!

sprot · 15/12/2018 18:31

I always let people with few items in front of me,but have been caught out,an elderly lady was standing behind me with two loaves of bread I asked would she like to go in front to which she said oh yes please,she then gestured to her husband who had a whole trolley load,and they went in front,I was so flabbergasted that I said nothing,the lady on the tills face said it all though but neither of us said anything until they’d left

Boulty · 15/12/2018 18:47

I would do the same as you and have done many times.

Ignore the ones moaning - it is your choice if you let her go before you.

SassitudeandSparkle · 15/12/2018 18:54

I know that Costco is an American company, but 'cut the line' is an American expression - we'd say jump the queue.

Also, as a long-time Costco customer myself I agree with the poster that said it's business customers only for most of the morning Mon-Fri.

I'd let someone behind me go in front but no, wouldn't get someone from the back or who was wandering around hopefully.

Orangecake123 · 15/12/2018 18:55

I did this today, and I've done it before. The guy behind me today only had 4 jars of mayonnaise . I don't think it really makes that much of a difference, but the others are right in their choice to not let her go before them if they don't want to.