To think ALL presents shouldn't be from Santa?

[justsparklex]

Surely it's not just me who thinks this is odd? I wasn't even aware people did this. So I messaged my friend asking if it was okay to come up Xmas evening with the kids and we can all then exchange presents, my friend replied saying " you can come up Xmas evening but can you drop the presents off before so dc's have all their presents in the morning" because apparently ALL their presents are from Santa. I was like What?? I understand people have certain traditions, but I just can't get my head over this one. I tell my kids that a few presents are from santa(usually less expensive ones) and the rest are from mummy&daddy and family, Santa just stores them and delivers them. I wasn't aware she didn't this until this year as I've usually just dropped them off before anyway.

I just think what's the point in even buying her kids anything if they don't even know it's from me? Why should Santa get all the credit? I just thought, do whatever you like with presents from you and your DH but family and friends?I think their kids deserve to know who bought them. I've bought them both two lovely, thoughtful and quite expensive presents and I'm just sad they won't even know it's from us. AIBU!?

IamSusan You and I are on the same wavelength at least.

In our house santa provides stockings as that's all that will fit in a sleigh

Only stocking presents here.

Parents who tell their DC all their presents are from Santa and none are from them, how do you deal with questions about why all their friends get presents from their parents but you don't bother?

my kids have NEVER asked why they didn't get presents from us, i really don't think it even crossed their minds.

I would just tell them that they have more than enough and should be grateful with the amount of stuff they have when some children only have 1 orange for Christmas present.

Yeah that's ridiculous. We already have presents under our tree from friends. Santa brings the big main present and the stocking.

My dcs (6 and 4) buy gifts for each other and dh and for me, (with help obviously), we did the same as children. So if you stick with the ‘everything is from Santa’ it means the children won’t buy any gifts, ever.

I’d be really hurt that my parents bought each other gifts but never bought anything. I’d be overly attached to Santa as the one man who cared about me at xmas and then be devastated that he wasn’t real. No chance. In our house, Santa brings little presents and we give everything else. It teaches them that Christmas is about giving and receiving NOT just about receiving. I’ve always thought it was weird giving Santa all the credit. Especially as he’s a bloke. I’m sure I’m not in the minority by saying that Christmas is 90% driven by me, my dm and my dmil.

I need to ask, how long do your children believe in Santa for?!

You make it sound like such a massive issue, but they are hardly teenagers when they find out and things get phased out! Doing something when you are little doesn't mean they are spoilt for ever, will grow ungrateful, ill-mannered and spoil.

You do realise that children can believe in Father Christmas and still be kind, generous towards others, write thank you cards for birthday presents and so on. Christmas is just one day of the year.

Some posters have a very strange view of things as soon as something is a tiny bit different from their little world.

All our presents were always from Father Christmas, never occurred to me that it was odd nor do I ever recall discussijg it in detail with friends outside of asking what we got for Christmas after the holidays. If kids believe until they're about 8/9 then they're hardly going to be discussing the details at a younger age.

In the car of the OP though I think it's odd to claim.someone else's presents as Father Christmas'.

My dc really don't discuss their presents with anyone else. They also buy presents for each other, I think some posters are purposely being obtuse because some of the assumptions being made are just strange.

I wouldn’t know how to explain to my kids that they are choosing/making a gift for daddy/granny/Auntie Pat, but daddy/granny/Auntie Pat isn’t getting them anything.

Daddy/granny/Auntie Pat did, however, give me a gift.

I find these judgmental posts really boring. Our tradition is that all presents come from Father Christmas - and guests bring gifts when they visit, for which you thank them, and we exchange a small item each. You are not part of my celebrations, why should I care what you think I should do? hmm

And that's fine IamSusan, but if you re-read the OP, that's not what the OP's friend is doing. She doesn't want her DC to know that gifts are from anyone but sodding Santa - even to the point of OP having to go twice - and that's surely wrong?

I do agree with you regarding the comparison thing though.

I suppose that's the thing.

My kids are not raised to believe you measure love with the amount of money that is spent on you.

My kids don't believe you only give something because you expect something in return. They can make a gift for someone because it will make that someone happy, not because they are waiting for something back.

Each to their own, but the more I read about it, the more I prefer the way we do things. I just don't walk around telling others they are wrong and my Christmas is the only right one.

DontCallMeCharlotte
It's a bit weird, but as long as the adult thank for the present, I can't see the issue . Demanding that the giver is going out of their way is a bit too much I give you that. I don't understand why someone is so keen that a child knows who their present is from.

I am more puzzled by that massive exchange of gifts between friends and their children to be honest, no wonder Christmas costs a fortune to some people!

In our house FC has only ever brought one gift. We don't do stockings. FC brings the one gift - not the biggest or more expensive, more likely something mummy/daddy might not totally approve of or choose for them, more frivolous etc. - and this was left assembled, unwrapped, ready to use/play with often with a dusting of elf dust visible.

Everything else is under the tree, with labels to say who they are from. If we saw someone on the day - very unusual in the past for us (through choice) - they could choose to bring the gift in advance and leave it under the tree or bring it on the day. Occasionally people may have brought something on Boxing day but not usual - we tended to have pretty much all gifts on CD morning. We still do.

When I was growing up FC was more of a delivery service - people either sent FC money and he sorted a gift, or they sent a gift to FC, and then he delivered on Christmas Eve. So no presents were visible to us until Christmas Day.

^My kids are not raised to believe you measure love with the amount of money that is spent on you.

My kids don't believe you only give something because you expect something in return. They can make a gift for someone because it will make that someone happy, not because they are waiting for something back.

Each to their own, but the more I read about it, the more I prefer the way we do things. I just don't walk around telling others they are wrong and my Christmas is the only right one.

Oh ouch, the judgement dripping from your post! Is the moral superiority keeping you toasty warm? Hope it’s proof against this chilly night.

I raise my kids to be all those things. But they’re also logical and good at spotting inconsistency. They’d have no issue giving Auntie Pat a gift (because duh, we do that for birthdays and sometimes just because it’s a nice thing to do). They’d probably question why, in this festival of reciprocal giving, granny got a gift from both them and me, but granny only gave to me.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe my kids would react like yours. I’d rather not spoil the magic of Santa by introducing the plot holes though.

I’m in my 30s & my mum still does a stocking from Santa!

Yep, I'm 33 and still get a stocking!

and I still believe!! 🎅🏼🎅🏼

JassyRadlett
I am glad the judgement came across from my post, which was only written in response to the criticism against the way I choose to present Christmas and the gifts to my kids.

Once again I am getting bored of being told we are doing it wrong and the judgemental attacks against parents who dare not giving presents to their own kids, and leave it all to Santa.

It affects other families none at all. I don't go around telling you what to do. (not "you" specific). But if you keep telling me why I am wrong to do so, I am going to reply what I think about your arguments which I don't agree with.

Whilst we are on the subject, I am also bored of the sanctimonious "give your time, don't give material things to your children at Christmas". I can't take even unpaid leave on a whim just because it's Christmas, and my kids quite like to have food every day of the year, so yes, both DH and I do work during some of the kids school break. I am fine with that.

Wow people are taking this quite seriously!

I’m still debating what to do but I don’t think it matters too much. I got a Santa sack of presents from santa at the end of my bed and it was magical. Everything under the tree was from family including mum and dad.

I don’t think children genuinely believe in Santa long enough for it to become an issue. Like most though I would like to make Christmas as magical as possible and I’m constantly switching between having 1 present under the tree from us and a big sack from Santa, or lots of presents under the tree from us and 1 present and stocking from Santa.

I think it might be more magical to have 1 present each from mummy and daddy, presents from friends and family and then a santa sack. MY only worry is that requires quite a lot of stuff.

It’s incredinly naff either way to be judging others so seriously or to be assuming parents who tell children presents are from them are measuring love in monetary value as if a 5/6 year old is going to think that! My goodness get a grip

We do it as Santa brings one special gift the dc have asked for.

It’s one they write in a letter and gets a mention about on a letter back from Santa.

The special gift then has a ribbon and a name tag from Santa on it.

The rest are from us. We just send them to Santa so he can wrap them and deliver them.

DD has a smallish stocking full of small and cheap goodies, these are from Santa. Everything under the tree is from me and other members of family/friends.