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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think ALL presents shouldn't be from Santa?

183 replies

justsparklex · 14/12/2018 13:55

Surely it's not just me who thinks this is odd? I wasn't even aware people did this. So I messaged my friend asking if it was okay to come up Xmas evening with the kids and we can all then exchange presents, my friend replied saying " you can come up Xmas evening but can you drop the presents off before so dc's have all their presents in the morning" because apparently ALL their presents are from Santa. I was like What?? I understand people have certain traditions, but I just can't get my head over this one. I tell my kids that a few presents are from santa(usually less expensive ones) and the rest are from mummy&daddy and family, Santa just stores them and delivers them. I wasn't aware she didn't this until this year as I've usually just dropped them off before anyway.

I just think what's the point in even buying her kids anything if they don't even know it's from me? Why should Santa get all the credit? I just thought, do whatever you like with presents from you and your DH but family and friends?HmmI think their kids deserve to know who bought them. I've bought them both two lovely, thoughtful and quite expensive presents and I'm just sad they won't even know it's from us. AIBU!?

OP posts:
ems137 · 14/12/2018 14:12

I've never even put much thought to it with my kids tbh. Grandparents and other relatives usually come round/we go to theirs with another sack of presents anyway with gifts from themselves. I think when they were really little we used to say "shall we see if Santa has been to Nanas house as well?"

It was the same when I was growing up too but we still knew who the presents came from. We were also encouraged to read the gift labels anyway.

Wateringhole · 14/12/2018 14:12

Santa is delivering just the one present to DD and all the rest are from whoever they're from.

CheshireChat · 14/12/2018 14:12

Meh, Santa brings everything here, it was the same in my childhood, perhaps because I'm not British?

He also gets something from St Nick on the 6th and something for St Sebastian on the 18th.

colorao · 14/12/2018 14:13

Does seem odd to me. We don't even give the big gifts from Santa, he gets them one thing they really want and then chocolate and stocking fillers.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 14/12/2018 14:13

1 gift is from Santa, the rest are from us.

driggle · 14/12/2018 14:15

Santa does stockings only in this house and he doesn't bring expensive presents. All other presents are from family and friends and DC says thank you to those people. I don't think it would be fair for people to spend money on the DC and then get no acknowledgement for it.

ladybee28 · 14/12/2018 14:15

So the kids see Mum giving Dad a gift, or Uncle giving Grandma a gift, for example, but family members didn't get the kids any gifts? Only Santa?

Or are the kids the only ones who get gifts in their house?

Seems like a shame to me...

canigetaliein · 14/12/2018 14:15

The way my family do it & in turn how I do it for my kids is that Santa does the stocking & a few thing besides it that can fit inside the stocking. Parents & other family members give one present so kids get stuff from family & santa. thought that was the norm

pallisers · 14/12/2018 14:16

Meh, Santa brings everything here, it was the same in my childhood, perhaps because I'm not British?

I can understand parents doing everything from santa, but do you take presents from friends and family and re-label them from Santa?

Elphie54 · 14/12/2018 14:16

So she wants her kids to open YOUR gifts with you not there and make them from Santa?

Absolutely not. I would tell her you are not doing that. You are either barking the gifts with you and will be from you, or no gifts at all.

BarnamintBaileys · 14/12/2018 14:18

When I was a child all of my presents came from Father Christmas, presumably because that’s how my parents did it when they were children. At some point between Christmas day and going back to school I wrote a thank you note to Father Christmas, without being prompted to.

I only realised people did things differently when my nephew was born, and I wrote “To nephew from Father Christmas” on his Christmas present, which made DH pull this kind of face Confused!

None of my friends or DH’s family seem to do presents from FC at all, and I have to say I have never had a thank you note from any child for a present I have bought, ever, nor would I expect one, a quick thank you text from the parents is the norm here.

Youngandfree · 14/12/2018 14:18

We do it a bit different. I get my DC’s to make a list and then “Santa” gets them 1 or 2 things off the list (usually the most wanted ones) and the rest (not all of course) mummy and daddy get. I don’t really do a stocking 😀

megletthesecond · 14/12/2018 14:19

Yanbu. I didn't realise people did this until I joined MN.

In our family stockings are from Santa, little bits like socks, pens, book, chocolate coins etc. And unwrapped.
Presents from friends and family are under the tree and thank you letters are sent.

BarnamintBaileys · 14/12/2018 14:20

Also, I was told as a child that FC only delivered presents to children, and adults bought for each other, so I never found it odd to see adults openly giving each other gifts.

Original poster
justsparklex · 14/12/2018 14:20

I'm so glad other people think it's odd too. I felt like saying something but I didn't. I was just shocked. I always make sure my kids say thank you to who ever bought them a gift, and when my kids go round on Xmas evening they will also be saying thank you to her! I can see her falling out with me. I don't know what she tells them when they see other people exchanging gifts, maybe she just avoids it or asks them not to do it when her kids are there? I don't know.. just bizarre

OP posts:
Celebelly · 14/12/2018 14:22

When I was a kid, stockings were from Santa and also one wrapped gift beside fireplace in the morning. Everything else was from who actually bought it.

blackteasplease · 14/12/2018 14:25

Mine is much more.vague I must say. Parents And family "help"" Santa by getting certain presents but I've never had a clear deliniation.

wheneverythinggoestitsup · 14/12/2018 14:25

So all presents off us are from Santa - stepson is a bit older now and we've explained that Santa makes and brings the presents but that we pay for them.

Any presents off family and friends are off them. I'd feel a bit weird insisting they couldn't take credit for their thoughtful gift! And annoyed if it was the other way round.

CheshireChat · 14/12/2018 14:25

pallisers it's just us and my mum buying for DS so less complicated.

Back home, Santa just brings them at other houses sometimes. Or kids know that people give gifts around Christmas anyway.

Plus, we just thank the person who hands over the present!

Celebelly · 14/12/2018 14:27

I think it's pretty rude to take presents from other people and remove any trace of the actual giver from them! And also to demand they are given at a certain time.

Topseyt · 14/12/2018 14:28

We don't differentiate here at all. All presents are just set out under the tree and we just say that he (Santa) must have been when we get down on Christmas morning.

DH and I buy all of it anyway. There is a financial contribution from the only living grandparents (my parents) and they get phone calls to thank them.

From Santa or not isn't something I have ever got into a tizzy over. My parents never did either when we were growing up.

I guess it helps that my "children" are aged 23, 20 and 16 now, so haven't been believers for years, but we never did it even when they were small.

Larasshadow · 14/12/2018 14:29

Don't you put a tag on the present to say it's from you? Or does she take them off?

Very weird.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 14/12/2018 14:29

It’s a weird and oddly cruel way to do things. I say ‘cruel’ because it gives the impression that ‘Santa’ favours the children of well off families over those where there is less money for presents Sad. FC was a sort of logistics service when mine were small, he just delivered the stuff.

IamSusan · 14/12/2018 14:30

what I find very odd is this what's the point in even buying her kids anything if they don't even know it's from me?
so you buy gifts to people to score some kind of points? How strange.

Apart from that, who cares who gives what to other people? Children don't believe in Santa for very long anyway.

For what it's worth, most of the presents come from Santa around me. In my own house, it's 1 present per person, everything else from the big guy. Even their grand-parents send things "from Santa" and a few bits from them personally. Kids can thank for at least one thing, but the main Christmas is from Father Christmas, I think the elf will do the stockings this year.

Ordering friends to do it one way or another is weird, but so is this habit of buying gifts for distant relatives, friends and neighbours. If people have so much money to spend, why not, but I am guessing most don't really. Unless we are invited somewhere, I much prefer keeping gifts for immediate family, or it gets completely out of hand. My kids are happy with a box of chocolate to share from visitors.

seventhgonickname · 14/12/2018 14:31

Stocking and main present here though elves don't do electrics.The rest are from others and when she was little it was hard to keep track of what she had from who.Thanyou emails were always sent.

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