To think ALL presents shouldn't be from Santa?

[justsparklex]

Surely it's not just me who thinks this is odd? I wasn't even aware people did this. So I messaged my friend asking if it was okay to come up Xmas evening with the kids and we can all then exchange presents, my friend replied saying " you can come up Xmas evening but can you drop the presents off before so dc's have all their presents in the morning" because apparently ALL their presents are from Santa. I was like What?? I understand people have certain traditions, but I just can't get my head over this one. I tell my kids that a few presents are from santa(usually less expensive ones) and the rest are from mummy&daddy and family, Santa just stores them and delivers them. I wasn't aware she didn't this until this year as I've usually just dropped them off before anyway.

I just think what's the point in even buying her kids anything if they don't even know it's from me? Why should Santa get all the credit? I just thought, do whatever you like with presents from you and your DH but family and friends?I think their kids deserve to know who bought them. I've bought them both two lovely, thoughtful and quite expensive presents and I'm just sad they won't even know it's from us. AIBU!?

Santa brings "everything" in our house so the stocking and pile on the couch. Tree gifts are from family and friends. DH and I don't get the kids anything but Santa brings them plenty.

Does she mean that Santa ‘delivers’ all the presents. Our family live away but Santa still brings their presents on his sleigh so tags say ‘from Auntie’ but delivery is by Santa (and Rudolph).

All presents from us are from Santa and appear on Xmas morning. All presents from friends and family are placed under the tree when we receive them or opened when the givers drop the presents off if they want to see DC open them .

Do you give the gifts to make her children happy or to be recognised and thanked? Surely your friend’s thank you is enough for you and you don’t need her children to be grateful to you instead of Santa.

Yes, it’s weird of her. But it’s even weirder of you to have the kids know it’s from you and not Santa. Your friend knows and I’m sure she appreciates the gifts you give them.

Why is that not enough for you?

I had no idea people did this before Mumsnet.

It also would have lasted 5minutes in the home of a high-functioning autistic child like me - why doesn't Santa like poor people? why don't you buy me presents Mummy when I have to get them for you? why does Santa use the same wrapping paper as us? and on and on and on

We've always done a few small or family presents from Santa or maybe just the stocking.

Never really put much thought into it until I read something recently and it really made me think twice.

So little Timmy, all his presents have come from 'Santa', little Timmy's parents are loaded so little Timmy got a new xbox, ipad, latest toys, spending money, everything he could ask for because little Timmy had been a good boy this year.

In another house little Tommy, all his presents are also from 'Santa' but Tommy's parents do not have much money, barely make ends meet. Tommy gets some thoughtful and lovely gifts, maybe one from his list but not a games console. Tommy is very happy with his gifts though and he has also been a good boy this year.

When Timmy tells Tommy what he got for Christmas from Santa, Tommy wondered what he didn't do to be as good as Timmy was to get all those amazing presents. Tommy didn't think he was good enough to deserve such presents.

This really struck a chord with me. So Santa is just doing stockings this year.

Do you give the gifts to make her children happy or to be recognised and thanked? Surely your friend’s thank you is enough for you and you don’t need her children to be grateful to you instead of Santa.

Of course we give gifts to make people happy AND to be recognised and thanked. It isn't an either/or.

All of my presents to my children are from Santa. That's just how we decided to do it.

why does Santa use the same wrapping paper as us?

Santa use his own wrapping paper which is never to be mixed up with our own wrapping paper!

Of course we give gifts to make people happy AND to be recognised and thanked. It isn't an either/or.

my kids get 1 book from me and their dad for Christmas. No, I don't buy them gifts to be recognised, it's not what their Christmas is about.

They don't believe we love them less because they receive less from us than their friends do from their parents. Love is not about money!

So her kids don't write thank you letters for their gifts? That really is odd and rude. Father Christmas brings stockings only here. And isn't Santa the American version, or have I been missing something for the last 40 years?

when my children were little we just put their names on ours and said santa had delivered them, but presents off family had the family members name on as in to love from Aunty and Uncle *

“Of course we give gifts to make people happy AND to be recognised and thanked. It isn't an either/or.”

She’s being recognised and thanked by her adult friend already. Her issue is getting the credit for the toys from the children.

I don’t need children to thank me and be grateful to me. So it’s not both.

Santa brought our stockings and also our "big" present (bike for example) and then presents under the tree were from whoever had gifted them.

There was ALWAYS a present from my parents under the tree as well though to throw me off the scent - most usually something "boring" that I needed like a new coat!

I found out last year that my friend takes all the tags off the presents and then everything comes from Santa. I was a bit annoyed really that I had gone to the effort for years of choosing nice gifts for them and they didn't know who they were from.

Santa brings main presents in our house and all other presents from other people are actually from those other people.

OP write who the present is from on the present (not on a tag) in glittery pen. Just to be on the safe side

I’ve realised that my DB & SIL have been doing this for years, asking for the “gift exchange” to be done weeks before Christmas, never ever getting a thank you or photo of the children with the presents.
It turns out that they have been taking off labels & making out all presents are from “Santa” .

They even do this with the GP presents, it’s because they are so tight it means they don’t have to spend their own money on presents for their own kids .
It will not happen this year & there is nothing wrong with wanting the children to know that gifts are from you.
The joy of Christmas is seeing the childrens faces as they open their presents 😀

So the people who do everything from Santa (including removing tags), who are your children writing thank you letters to?

It’s a weird and oddly cruel way to do things. I say ‘cruel’ because it gives the impression that ‘Santa’ favours the children of well off families over those where there is less money for presents.

This definitely. In our house, Santa just fills the stocking, hence they're cheap and fun extra presents. The rest come from us.

In answer to the OP, making out the presents are not from you but from Santa, well that's very rude.

Only the stockings are from Santa here. In fact most of the presents are already wrapped under the tree (and so half of ds's friends can't come into our sitting room).

I worked with homeless families before having children and am very uncomfortable with the idea of "Santa" giving such different things depending on parental income or lack of it. Both dh and I have huge extended families who buy the children presents as well very well off parents (him) and a mother with only 2 grandchildren (mine) so before we even get anything, they have a mountain apiece.

who are your children writing thank you letters to?

Santa. When they are little enough to believe, I do the thanking but i wouldn't remove a tag. if they get a present from someone too, they thank them.
What's the big deal?

Amongst my family and friends Santa brings the stocking presents and the bigger present(s) under the tree. Grandparents, aunts and uncles and family friends get credit for the presents they've bought, and also thanked for them.

I also think it is bit rude but it is just her family tradition. Maybe don't give the gifts and save them for New Year presents? Just say "oh I didn't know you did that, I might just save ours for New Year this year as I would really like the kids to know the presents are from me and how fond of them I am". That way you are not spoiling her traditions but are also are happy with the outcome.

We do all presents from Santa except those bought by friends or relatives but to be honest I think it’s better to have a stocking from Santa and bigger gifts from parents like some other posters have mentioned. I’m not sure why we do this really , I never really thought about it but it’s too late to change it now and I probably only have another year or two before they stop believing anyway.

Ohohoops, that's a good idea