To find it a bit upsetting that my Dec born dc gets shit presents...

[grinchmas]

From relatives. I know it's an expensive time of year but it's the same date every year, hardly shocking.

I put a lot of effort into all my nieces and nephews birthday presents throughout the year and wouldn't dream of wrapping their present up in Christmas paper or spending £3 on a present "because it's Christmas soon". Every birthday so far this has happened!

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I just feel sorry for my dc!

My DS has his birthday on the 26th. It was always so awful becuase family and friends were away or tired from Xmas day celebrations. So I now do a summer celebration in June/July. We have a BBQ cake and presents and he still gets ridiculously excited in his late teens :)

We still get him some little presents on his actual birthday and make a big deal of it but he understands that he still gets his day, it is just a little different from others.

:)

Ds is 24th Dec and dd is 27th Dec.
I'm early January. My brother is today!

And I can guarantee we have never done the whole "birthday and Christmas" thing.

Well, my brother does for my son (he is his God father) but it's more of a running joke as he is more than good to him throughout the year.

Dd is mid teens and worries when she is 18 that her party will be overshadowed by Christmas parties. She has always managed parties but ds hasn't had one since primary school.

Mine's a week before Christmas and though my parents did things like not putting up any Christmas cards or decs or the tree till after my day it didn't feel nearly as special as my sister's birthday in April.
My three DC all have July or August birthdays and love it. They can enjoy Christmas fun then half-way through the year they can enjoy Birthday fun. Celebrations can be outdoors and they can have summer-type presents.
I hated having to wait a whole year for presents.

DP's is the first of Jan, which means people really are too hungover and out-partied to bother. We're usually not together, but I remember one year determinedly making him a special dinner and a cake despite really not feeling great and him having gone back to bed to sleep it off! I did it though.

We always make a big thing of Christmas and birthdays, buying multiple presents, and it can be a bit of a pain to think of two lots he would like, but I've managed it so far. And yes, birthday presents definitely not in Christmas paper (though I have been known to use Xmas paper for birthdays in the middle of the year!)

My dd birthday is Christmas day. Luckily our family still get her seperate Christmas and birthday presents apart from my dad. But that's only when we've asked for a "big" present from him (he asks for suggestions within his budget he's set).
I did have a bit of a rant to my oh the other day after going into a 4th shop for party invites and there being none how the shops seem to forget people still have birthdays in December

YANBU.
Ds's birthday is the first week in December. I didn't think that was too close to Christmas but he's had so far, birthday presents wrapped in Christmas wrapping, a Christmas model thing with gold coins, and this year an advent calendar (he had a few days to open as a catch up) as a birthday gift.
The birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper he didn't want to open as he thought they were for Christmas.

My own birthday is usually the same time as Easter. As a child I would get Easter eggs as a birthday present.

My Birthdays early Jan and for my 40th DH didn't even get me a card because "I spent loads on you at Xmas" gutted....

My ds' birthday is on the 16th and we're very careful to ensure it's celebrated properly. He gets proper birthday presents, cards, balloons and I make a cake. Thankfully, all our relatives and friends make sure he gets a gift or money in a birthday card. We do have issues with parties because his classmates are busy with Christmas related activities and most don't even bother to rsvp but that's another thread This year, we are going to the cinema and for a meal but next year will be a party but we're planning to do that in November or January to make it less stressful!

Complete opposite experience here. DD1 birthday two days after Christmas and she has always got tons of great presents from friends and family precisely because, I think, they want to make sure it doesn’t get swallowed by Christmas. She’s obviously always on school holiday on her birthday and the house always looks lovely because the decorations are up etc , I always cook whatever she fancies for dinner because by then we’ve had enough of the leftovers and family are always over. I feel sorry for DD2, who has a February birthday, in contrast!

My nephew's BD is at the beginning of December. Yes, it would be tight to go out and spend extra ££'s in the immediate run up to Christmas, but I avoid the additional expense in December by picking things up throughout the year in sales. It doesn't require that much effort to buy a few bits here and there to put by for the wee soul. I think I'm actually MORE conscious of remembering him because his birthday's at a time of year when people make the Christmas excuse

I'm a very early Jan birthday and friends were happy to come out again to a less busy pub or club (only the millennium was a total disaster, the club was empty, I think about 20 people were there in an area with a capacity for 1000s!), I haven't done too badly for gifts except an awful last minute random gift from the PIL one year , they had obviously forgotten. My mum is also a very early Jan birthday, so I think she goes all out to ensure I have a separate birthday.

Luckily, in a small family, I got lovely birthday gifts and the option of larger joint Christmas and birthday ones. I actually think my brother (who's a summer birthday) was bit jealous as he didn't really get the joint present option.

DD's birthday is in the school summer holidays so it's quite difficult to get friends to come to a party, we've moved her birthday party forward to June or July instead.

It doesn't bother me now. I have some lovely friends who always remember.

That is crap. My Dad's birthday is Dec 21st I have never ever got him crap presents or lumped them in with Christmas neither has my mum or my siblings. He is 70 this year and we are going all out for him.

DD2 is Christmas Day. We make a big effort to make sure her birthday presents are clearly separate with birthday wrappings and cards. She gets to open her birthday presents before anyone opens Christmas presents. It is ok while she is young (turning 4) but it will get harder as she is older and becomes more aware. Although she has had tantrums on DS’s and DD1’s birthdays as she can’t understand why she doesn’t get a present too, when they get presents on her birthday.

I agree with you BUT - the real problem is the ridiculous fuss we all expect to be made for birthdays and various other celebrations.

My birthday as a kid was very low key. Now kids want big parties, loads of presents and themed stuff, activities as well a "family party". Adult friends expect a whole week of drinks and meals and presents and fuss.

Christmas used to be two or at most three days - now it is two weeks of again, drinks and parties and events.

Same with Mother's Day, Easter, Valentines Day - all of which used to be really low key but are now major productions.

My DD is a Valentine's baby and my DS very near Xmas. We jsut keep it simple and make them both feel special - that's all. But I do understand.... it is shit for kids sometimes.

Reading this is making me sad. One of my dx has a very early Jan birth because they turned up at 36 weeks.
Now I'm worried they are in for a life of shit birthdays

I make this appeal a lot at this time of year.

DON'T BY DECEMBER BIRTHDAY PEOPLE SCARVES. DON'T. JUST DON'T.

I get 2-3 a year. Often from the same bloody offenders - I've received 10-12 from my husband's family over the years.

I know some people will come along and say it's nice to receive a scarf, but there's just too high a chance that Dec babies get given a scarf by default. It's a pain.

I have a mid December birthday and my DS has a very early January one.

Not everyone is rubbish with gifts, I've always had birthday paper and birthday gifts apart from the odd distant relative who didn't really know me and so it never upset me. It was kinda handy a couple of times as I received a few big budget busting gifts as a joint birthday/Christmas but as they were huge wow presents I really really didn't mind! The 2 I remember is a Nokia 3310 for my eleventh birthday and then for Christmas I just got a case and box of chocs that was from my Nan and was the first time in my life I was truly speechless! The other was a beautiful coat that I adored but was really expensive I negotiated that as a birthday and Christmas thing from my mum. 12 years on it doesn't fit but still have and love it!

I do worry that my son's birthday in very early Jan kinda sucks so we are starting a family tradition of going on a short holiday for it. He will be 2 this year and we are going the week after his birthday to make the most of term time prices but as he gets old enough to understand and when school gets in the way we will go away over his actual birthday. It is very important to me that his birthday is still special. I am lucky that most of my closest family have a similar mindset and no rubbish joint or Christmas related tat has come his way yet and I don't expect it to!

Yanbu.

My cousin and my dad both have birthdays in December. It IS an expensive time of year. So their birthday presents get bought in the summer/autumn/as and when I see something they might like.

It's not exactly like its a surprise when the date is so it's not that difficult to plan ahead.

I had an (expensive) 21st birthday party this week - room hire, food, cake all ordered - and less than half of the people who responded that they were coming bothered to show up. Only a handful texted me. A combination of shit people and a shit season to have a birthday, I reckon.

My sister’s is on Dec 31st. Normally we try to commemorate it in a big way but last year I screwed up. She had had a totally awful year so I went all out in her Christmas gift (when normally we don’t bother)and then totally forgot her birthday. Not even a card. I have a lot of making up to do.

My birthday is the 16th, my mums the 9th, brother is the 11th and my daughter the 19th! December is mega busy and expensive in our family! My brother and I always got separate birthday/Xmas presents and still got parties I think most years.
When I first started dating my husband he used to say ‘I’ve just got you something tiny for birthday as I’ve got you a decent gift for xmas’. Only did that the first couple of years, he knows better now! 🤣

I think there's bad points about different times of the year.
Summer holidays birthdays have no one around (and often present is "oh I picked this up from cypress" type thing)
My dm's June and she once commented she had exams on her birthday every year at school unless it was Sunday, for example. And she said presents from family were often we'll take you (and the rest of the family) out for a picnic type.

My dc quite often get joint presents, even though they're nowhere near December. They know if they want something bigger than normal then they get it joint (for example my parents are getting dd2 theatre tickets for something she really wants to see, which is joint birthday and Christmas).
As a child I once had something which was 2 birthday/2 Christmas. I wanted it, and that was agreed as fair enough. Didn't mind it (until db got given the same without it even being a present because he "needed" it)

I fount there were the number of people who thought they could get me and dsis a joint present and dbro a separate one. I don't think the joint present was bigger either. Me and dsis have very different tastes so it never pleased both of us. And it was always put in dsis' room so I never got to use it-even if it was more my taste anyway.

DD's is 2nd January. To add insult to injury people forget to post cards in time to arrive before the bank holiday. When she was little we would hand out birthday party invitations before they broke up for Christmas and most people would "forget".
I did used to do a "summer holiday" party in July. No presents but lots of party games and cake.

DS is a Christmas birthday - this is one of those areas where I really appreciate my in laws (who are great generally) because they also have Christmas birthdays in their family and totally get it - they always make a big effort.

Plus sides are everyone is off work so we have a big family gathering on his birthday.

We do his party as early in Dec as possible though, otherwise we found the invited kids parents would forget about it and not turn up.

Absolutely - it was mine yesterday and nowadays it isn't an issue - except who would want to go out to dinner amongst all the office Christmas parties. However, when I was a child I always seemed to get rubbish presents and joint presents - including from my parents.