Teacher/child related how to broach this?

[ControversyisSubjective]

I want to start by saying, I am currently a nurse but changing my career to teaching. Presently in the middle of my access course.
I know teachers are under a lot of stress and pressure. I completely understand mistakes are made, I don't want to go in all guns blazing, because I also accept children fabricate the truth. Although there is also some truthfulness mostly in what young children say.

Today my 9 year came home from school completely deflated and looked depressed. I proceeded to ask what was bothering him and this is what he said.

Today in P.E he was playing hockey and stopped the ball from going in the net. His teacher told him unfortunately it had crossed the line so it was a goal. He said he stopped it just on the line. She then stated in a joking matter, "Well I think you are in need of glasses!" His fellow classmate proceeded to prod jokes and make glasses with their hands at his expense. He got very upset and told them to stop. Two of them did but the others didn't so he lost it a through his hockey stick on the floor. The teacher then told him to go sit out and think about his actions.

He cried in the toilet and was very down when I picked him up.

He told me he doesn't think he fits in and doesn't want to go back to school.

Now I know his reaction was not acceptable and I have told him, he needs to refrain from acting out in the heat of the moment because that doesn't reflect well on him. He accepts this and we will work on this.

But the rest has got me stumped. He is a sensitive kid, but is very competitive. However, he is very good at sport and is in all the school athletics teams.

The ball may very well have gone over the line. I don't know, I wasn't there. But I think it's inappropriate to be mocked over it.

How would I broach this. I know we are human and people like to joke. But I don't think it should be done like this.

Opinions?

As a teacher with disabilities, if I were you, I wouldn't bother carrying on. It's next to impossible to get a job, you need to be completely reliable at all times and it's very frowned upon if you're off sick, ever, and support for disabled teachers is incredibly poor. It's also inconvenient for other staff members who will more than likely turn against you as there are extra burdens on them, plus the parents aren't keen either.

It's appalling, but a fact.

Well yes, Roly, because why would I send them to school to be educated by someone who is no more educated in the basics of our language than I am.

She is quite happy to go to the school to complain about something that is really a non issue and I began by politely pointing out that she will be receiving a lot of complaints herself because of her grasp of English.

I am very sympathetic to her difficulties in any other context but not when she wants to become a teacher. Others may be happy with that but I wouldn't be.

We have reached a sorry state of affairs when parents are expected to put up and shut up when a teacher can't write her own language. Fair play to her for having confidence but I think she will find it misplaced when students and parents point out her shortcomings.

Anyway, I'll leave you all to it but reality will bite at some point.

Well I don’t think you have really taken what people are saying on board. You are making excuses saying that your child was debating with the teacher. He’s 9 - well old enough to know that the referees decision is final and it isn’t a debating session. The teacher could have disciplined your child for arguing but chose to use humour instead. Nothing you have said has indicated they let the other children tease yours or were even aware of it.
Your son is the one who has behaved badly not the teacher. And the other boys as well but if your son had alerted the teacher to what they were doing instead of launching his equipment McEnroe style they would have been able to address it. Or if it was seen maybe they were spoken to after your child had been sent to cool off.
If he is generally unhappy at school that is a separate conversation to have but the only person who needs broaching re this event is your son.

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver
I don't have disabilities that would prevent me working. I have disabilities that have stunted my education, but are improvable.

I wouldn't quit half way through a degree because of a little blip. I also wouldn't let somebody on an internet forum tell me I'm not capable. That wouldn't be very teacher ethic. I've worked in nursing for years. I'm extremely reliable. I find it really sad that I am now having to explain my choice in profession.
Having also gone through this forum looking at my mistakes in my comments. It's clear to see they are typos and auto-correct mistakes. So it's pathetic I've been corrected.

instead of launching his equipment McEnroe style they would have been able to address it.
That's a common sense assumption isn't it.
Read the thread, I've addressed all that clearly.
Another one looking for blood. Is this what people on MN do?

@aconcertpianist
Are you aware that medics and scientists aren't excellent at grammar?
I have stated I am training to be a Science teacher, not an English teacher. I only need the basics in English literature and language for that. I assure you, I am quite capable of communicating well.
You were never politely.

I’ve read the thread. Not looking for blood just pointing out that you are doing what lots of parents seem to on here and looking for fault in the teacher where there is none rather than focusing on the clear fault in your own child’s behaviour. Good luck with that when you’re qualified and it’s you on the receiving end. Your child is 9 and has no additional needs you’ve mentioned so should be able to accept losing a point in a game! He wasn’t debating he was being a bad sport and cheeky. And he should be able to deal with a bit of ribbing from peers by either ignoring it or reporting it if necessary. This is where your attention should be.

No you haven't read the thread other wise you would see I have raised the issue with him. He is receiving help for confidence and I didn't pick fault with the teacher specifically. At all.

Thanks for the good luck though.

@ControversyisSubjective
Don’t quit. We need you! Science teachers are like hen’s teeth at the moment so keep on at it!

There’s always a few parents who think they are a customer rather than the recipient of a professional service provided by the government and think they have veto powers over teacher standards and professional expectations. You don’t even get that in a private school. Ignore.

Good luck.

I'm a teacher. Humour is a good way of de-escalating situations. Obviously very occasionally it backfires like it did for your son. Speak to your son's teacher about him feeling he doesn't fit in. Ask for his/her help to him make new friends etc. The other teacher making a joke is irrelevant and definitely not complaint worthy.

To be honest, OP, your attitude is appalling. You certainly aren't right for teaching if you come across in real life the way you are on here.

I didn't say you weren't capable. You said you have disabilities, I was pointing out that teaching is highly incompatible with disabilities for many, many reasons. I've also said nothing about your spelling and grammar. Not a word.

I've re-read and saw you were actually going to approach the school because of what happened to your DS. Christ on a bike. You'll never survive teaching. Ever.

Teacher shortage in the country
Teacher retention issue in the country
Unqualified teachers on the rise

I can see why.

I'd make a small bet the teacher may have thought afterwards, if they noticed the mickey taking, that it wasn't an ideal comment and maybe got that slightly sick feeling in their stomach.

When I was 12, we all got weighed in science and logged results on the board for a graph. The teacher probably looked at everyone being average sizes and saw no harm. I weighed the most by a long shot but I was tall and didn't look particularly overweight. I remember the look on her face as it dawned on her that she may have made an error.

My point is she was human and doing an extra hard job, no one gets it right all the time. As an aside your boy sounds confident and able to speak up, which are great qualities.

Thank you.
Just before I go, I would like to say. This isn't a teacher bashing thread and I want you all to know how much I appreciate your hard work. I know it's a tough profession. I currently work in one. I know we don't always get it right and most teachers are angels I'm disguise. That school has genuinely helped us through some incredibly daunting times, and I've written to the head on a number of occasions praising his staff.
So I don't and didn't want this thread to turn against anyone. I just simply wanted to ask a way forward.
Tomorrow is another day.

Just to throw in my 2p, I had an excellent History teacher at A Level. He was dyslexic, so often made spelling mistakes on the board. However, it was his passion and fantastic subject knowledge that really made the difference to my grade. I wouldn't have done so well with a teacher who could spell perfectly but had no passion.

I hope your son is feeling better. I don't have any advice to share (sorry!) but didn't want to read and run - don't give up on teaching! We need you.

@ControversyisSubjective I have an 8 year old who would have reacted in exactly the same way, especially where sports are concerned. He loves playing football but each week is an ordeal because we never know when he is going to take something to heart. We have two other sons (older) who are nothing like this.
Just like you, we are working very hard with him to improve his resilience and his sportsmanship. It's not an overnight fix and we find it very frustrating at times.
I think it possibly makes a difference that it wasn't his usual teacher. I also teach and I know which students I can joke with and which would become upset or offended. His usual teacher probably understands him better which is why she hasn't had any issues.
I would just speak to school, hear their take on the incident and explain that as he is struggling with confidence and resilience, which they are are aware of, he found it very difficult to cope with the other children making fun. Perhaps suggest the could just keep an eye on him with regards to helping him to manage his emotions.
Yes, his response was inappropriate and you have acknowledged and dealt with this but, with a little more careful handling by the teacher, the situation needn't have escalated.
Disclaimer: I haven't proofread this post for spelling, grammar or autocorrect mistakes. I really hope a certain poster doesn't think I need to resign with immediate effect

@MrsTumbletap
What makes you think they are unqualified.
They wouldn't graduate if they were.
Teacher shortage is because of the pressure on people.
It's the same in the NHS.

People put that pressure on society with their judgement and expectation, fuelled by the government.

That doesn't mean all NHS staff and teaching staff are good. Sometimes things are questioned and personally I think asking advice like I have instead of shooting the gun is a good way of doing it. So some poor professional doesn't get it in the neck.

So saying their conduct ‘isn’t exactly professional’ wasn’t picking fault with the teacher then???? My mistake!
I think you need to read your own posts back op.

Wtf? The teacher did nothing wrong. The problem is with bullying kids not the teacher making a joke.

I think MrsTumbletap was referring to the rise in the use of unqualified “instructors” because of the recruitment and retention crisis of qualified teachers.

Also, I’m confused about what age range you will be teaching? You said you are training to teach “higher education science”, but ‘higher education’ refers to university. Do you mean further education (sixth form/college)? Or secondary education?

Are people still commenting on my education? That isn't exactly what this thread was about. Anyway, I will be aiming for teaching science in universities. I am more than capable and have proven this in my studies. Which is why I refuse to entertain a thread of perfectionists telling me otherwise.

For the people wanting an update. My son had calmed down this morning and we went into school together. He firstly apologised for his reaction. The teacher then apologised for the throw away comment, and admitted it wasn't the best response to him questioning the point. She has spoken to the other children who have since all made up and realised it was meant as a joke. My son has laughed it off this morning. She also stated she never has any problems with him otherwise and is in no way concerned about his behaviour. So has told me not to worry. I thanked her for being so understanding and also for the work she does. She appreciated it. We all went on our merry way.
She also mentioned he has acted in a very adult manor this morning discussing things calmly. Which is more than I can say for some on this thread.

So thank you to the people who gave me sound, sensible advice. Seems you adults know how to handle a conversation respectively. I did note that it was mostly
teachers giving me this sound advice. So I have faith that good parent/teacher relationships still exist.

P.s I do hope my spelling and grammar is upto scratch

‘isn’t exactly professional’
Allowing children to pick fun after a throw away comment isn't professional. I did also state my son may be fabricating.
However this wasn't the case. This teacher was very respectable and easy to talk to fortunately and resolved the situation brilliantly. So thankfully my son and the other children are now. As stated above. You can climb of your horse now.

I never doubted you were capable. The reason I asked was because teaching little children is so, so different from teaching older ones in how you relate to them, use humour, power balances etc and that you might be looking at this through the lens of your studies and that wasn’t helpful to you. For the record, I’m the only poster who twigged you wouldn’t be teaching children so your spelling and grammar isn’t such an issue. Personally I don’t give a crap about your spelling and grammar, and never said otherwise.

I’m glad it’s resolved.

(And I doubted myself with what level you were teaching only because other posters kept on about you teaching “children” and you didn’t correct them.)

@TeaStory
My apologies, I did state a few times in the thread. Unfortunately it turned into a opportunity for blatant bullying, I lost sight of what the aim was.

Thanks for your input