Teacher/child related how to broach this?

[ControversyisSubjective]

I want to start by saying, I am currently a nurse but changing my career to teaching. Presently in the middle of my access course.
I know teachers are under a lot of stress and pressure. I completely understand mistakes are made, I don't want to go in all guns blazing, because I also accept children fabricate the truth. Although there is also some truthfulness mostly in what young children say.

Today my 9 year came home from school completely deflated and looked depressed. I proceeded to ask what was bothering him and this is what he said.

Today in P.E he was playing hockey and stopped the ball from going in the net. His teacher told him unfortunately it had crossed the line so it was a goal. He said he stopped it just on the line. She then stated in a joking matter, "Well I think you are in need of glasses!" His fellow classmate proceeded to prod jokes and make glasses with their hands at his expense. He got very upset and told them to stop. Two of them did but the others didn't so he lost it a through his hockey stick on the floor. The teacher then told him to go sit out and think about his actions.

He cried in the toilet and was very down when I picked him up.

He told me he doesn't think he fits in and doesn't want to go back to school.

Now I know his reaction was not acceptable and I have told him, he needs to refrain from acting out in the heat of the moment because that doesn't reflect well on him. He accepts this and we will work on this.

But the rest has got me stumped. He is a sensitive kid, but is very competitive. However, he is very good at sport and is in all the school athletics teams.

The ball may very well have gone over the line. I don't know, I wasn't there. But I think it's inappropriate to be mocked over it.

How would I broach this. I know we are human and people like to joke. But I don't think it should be done like this.

Opinions?

I'd see the teacher about his self-esteem and the impact it's had, but I wouldn't be questioning the teacher's initial response. I'd explain that the teasing towards DS continued, but it's quite possible that the teacher was/is entirely unaware that it happened. Go and have a conversion about how everyone can best support DS. That's all that's needed here.

Or maybe I'm cynical and my daughter is just a manipulative monkey smile.

Thanks for making me laugh Some

MN user like to go for the jugular.
However I meant broach about the whole thing not actually pull her up on the one comment. Again, I said we are all human, and again I have said he is working on the Prince Edwards award

Yes they practice political parties and how to have a healthy debate.

Teacher was referee. He was told that ball was over line. It sounds like the line from teacher about him needing to get glasses was an attempt to deescalate by making a joke instead of telling him not to argue with her / him. Other kids making a joke at his expense is par for the course and does not justify him throwing his hockey stick and having a strop. That said he is young and is learning and this is what happens while kids learn the rules and how to cope with disappointment. You need to be teaching him that resilience by helping him shrug this one off rather than feeding into the drama and the not fitting in comments. If you genuinely think he has problems making friends then by all means address this with the school but I would not be jumping in based on this one. Kids often over dramatise when things go wrong especially if they are sensitive. It is how you react to this that is important. Sympathise, tell him that some decisions will not go his way in sport and in other scenarios and encourage him to forget it.

@MissSusanScreams Thanks that's very sensible advice. I'll take that on-board.

@SilverApples is that sarcastic? No higher education science actually.

Personally I'd let it lie - like I say, they are all absolutely knackered, the timetable has gone to pot in favour of wall-to-wall Christmas and they're high as kites on excitement but absolutely rock bottom in terms of actual energy reserves, half of them are incubating some germ or other and everyone is having emotional blips all over the place.

We had 20 minutes of sobbing and wailing over an unsticky post-it note this morning FFS! Everything is a drama and absolutely the end of the world at the moment with them all.

If it continues into next term I'd tackle it then personally.

One of mine would definitely use the "I don't fit in" angle to manipulate and dodge any personal responsibility (well she'd bloody well try to) - the other one does have issues in terms of social isolation and would have a pretty valid point in that case... you know your child and which one of those options they probably are - just be honest with yourself about it.

@Fairyliz thanks you. That's all I wanted. A different perspective from someone on the outside. Its hard when it's your own child. You question whether you are making the right decison

@noeyedeer
Thank you.

OP.
If you are training to be a teacher, may I respectfully suggest that you pay some attention to your spelling and grammar or you may find parents complaining about your grasp of these areas. That state of affairs would be a lot more serious than trying to josh a child along.

I should add that I wouldn't usually dream of commenting on this but I feel it is justified as you are hoping to become a teacher. You-like your son-may need to toughen up and learn a little resilience.

I agree with pp that you should make light of the incident, it really isn't a big deal. I would also try not to worry about his comment about not fitting in. Ime kids can throw that kind of stuff out and it can put their parents in a spin, then it can become a 'thing' when in reality it was just a throwaway comment. Keep an eye on him in case he is genuinely unhappy but don't read too much into this and it will most likely blow over.

they're high as kites on excitement but absolutely rock bottom in terms of actual energy reserves, half of them are incubating some germ or other and everyone is having emotional blips all over the place.
Have to agree with this. This household is full of cold including him.

My youngest had a melt down because he didn't want his socks up his leg, forgetting it's him that puts them on and chooses how he wears them.

Like I say this is a first for him.

Very few people are that competitive that get cross over a point or two

These children have a need to win at all expense and aren't very pleasant to be around in teams. They are playing to build skills - like ball control and team work - winning or losing is a side issue -

His teacher probably recognizes this and made a light comment but your sons reaction is to losing rather than anything else

There's no joy when competive children play

Higher education? So you’re training to teach at university? Primary school children and managing them really different. I don’t think you should raise the incident with the teacher so much as work with your child on his arguing back and resilience. Children that age do “poke fun” and it sounds really, really minor and not worth all this fuss.

Why on earth would you think I was being sarcastic? If you were training for primary, mental health is a current focus.

*are really different

respectfully suggest that you pay some attention to your spelling and grammar
Thanks
But it's fine and I'm on MN not planning a lesson. I do however have dyslexia. I also have post perfusion syndrome. Which is a memory issue. None of that prevents you becoming a teacher.
again thanks.
I'm very resilient.
I also no teachers with bad spelling and grammar because of dyslexia issues. Doesn't prevent their teaching or marking skills.

@SilverApples
My apologies. Everyone else on here seems to want to put people down for asking advice.

OP I think you are getting a hard time. He's 9. Kids get frustrated with sport and yes sometimes act up. It's up to the teacher to deal with that and he feels humiliated.

Know* woops

If you are training to be a teacher, may I respectfully suggest that you pay some attention to your spelling and grammar or you may find parents complaining about your grasp of these areas.

FFS

@lazymare
Thank you. I am buy hey it's the internet. Strangers say what they want behind a screen. But I am very resilient and have take all the constructive advice on board. So thank you to everyone who has spoke to me in a decent manner.

He should not argue with a teacher or referee.
Arguing or giving a difference in opinion?
In schools they are now taught how to do this politically. They have their own political parties in class. For meals, subjects, sports ECT. He said he didn't do this in an argumentative manor. Just stated his opinion.

But there's a time and a place for arguing, or expressing an opinion, and on the pitch in the middle of a game isn't it. In an actual match arguing with the ref would probably get him a yellow card, and throwing his stick might get him a red one.

Oh lay off the OP about her grammar-this is an Internet forum and not a professional setting! I’d say, if she’s a nurse, she can read and write!!

OP, as a teacher (of Secondary not Primary though) tensions are all heightened about now, as has been said but you are right to not like hearing about the teasing. Definitely see how he goes tomorrow.

GreenTulips is correct. When my daughter is caught cheating at monopoly / uno / jenga etc etc etc all hell breaks loose. She gets sent to her room and a game night ban.

cansu
I agree.
The teacher made a call. The DC argued back. Teacher used humour to deflect and move on. He shouldn't have thrown his stick and behaved that way.

HexagonalBattenburg makes some valid points too.

I'm obviously out of step here but I would prefer my child to be taught by someone who has a grasp of spelling and grammar, otherwise I may as well keep them at home and educate them myself.

I'm sorry to hear that you have some impediments that prevent this but the case remains, I would like my child to be taught by someone who doesn't have those.

In the same way, I would prefer my brain surgeon to not suffer with a tremulous hand or my personal stylist to be colour blind.

Sometimes, our personal ambitions are not always possible and nor should they be if, by achieving them, someone else is short-changed.

Anyway, I imagine that's an unpopular view but I want my child to have the best education and not to have to muddle along with someone who may have no more idea than I do. I would certainly complain if I received a letter from a teacher which was full of errors because my child deserves the best.

A child who is competitive and sporty and in lots of school teams should know that sometimes close decisions by a referee go in your favour, and sometimes they don't. Unless the school has a hawkeye system set up in the goalmouth he needs to learn to take it on board if he wants to carry on taking part in sport. If nothing else it will stop other kids winding him up (and I wonder why they did, has he got himself a bit of a reputation for having buttons to push?)