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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher/child related how to broach this?

139 replies

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 18:44

I want to start by saying, I am currently a nurse but changing my career to teaching. Presently in the middle of my access course.
I know teachers are under a lot of stress and pressure. I completely understand mistakes are made, I don't want to go in all guns blazing, because I also accept children fabricate the truth. Although there is also some truthfulness mostly in what young children say.

Today my 9 year came home from school completely deflated and looked depressed. I proceeded to ask what was bothering him and this is what he said.

Today in P.E he was playing hockey and stopped the ball from going in the net. His teacher told him unfortunately it had crossed the line so it was a goal. He said he stopped it just on the line. She then stated in a joking matter, "Well I think you are in need of glasses!" His fellow classmate proceeded to prod jokes and make glasses with their hands at his expense. He got very upset and told them to stop. Two of them did but the others didn't so he lost it a through his hockey stick on the floor. The teacher then told him to go sit out and think about his actions.

He cried in the toilet and was very down when I picked him up.

He told me he doesn't think he fits in and doesn't want to go back to school.

Now I know his reaction was not acceptable and I have told him, he needs to refrain from acting out in the heat of the moment because that doesn't reflect well on him. He accepts this and we will work on this.

But the rest has got me stumped. He is a sensitive kid, but is very competitive. However, he is very good at sport and is in all the school athletics teams.

The ball may very well have gone over the line. I don't know, I wasn't there. But I think it's inappropriate to be mocked over it.

How would I broach this. I know we are human and people like to joke. But I don't think it should be done like this.

Opinions?

OP posts:
reenchantmentofeverydaylife · 13/12/2018 20:34

aconcertpianist you have antisocial delusions of grandeur. Have you seen anyone about that? How dare you come on here throwing your bitter and twisted weight around, and having a go at ordinary working mothers whose ambitions include doing the vey best they can to contribute to a society rapidly being degenerated by the kind of arrogant elitism that leeches out of cultural shitholes like Eton?

Your superior-sounding character assassinations just show you up for the nasty insecure naked little emperor you really are.

And if that sounds harsh, you might want to think about the impact your destructively unkind and mean-minded opinions have on others.

MaisyPops · 13/12/2018 20:36

aconcertpianist
Why are you having a go at the OP.

Much as lots of us think this is a non situation, there's no need to be unkind.

costacoffeecup · 13/12/2018 20:37

I don't really understand the point about being on the internet so not bothering to spell things correctly. Surely if you can spell argument in your profession you wouldn't spell it as arguement on the internet. You'd just spell it correctly out of habit. It even comes up on spellcheck. Teachers just shouldn't be spelling simple words incorrectly. Children will copy their spelling.

Typos are one thing and I've definitely typed quickly and it's autocorrected to the wrong 'your' and I've noticed it afterwards. But it try to correct myself when I do that.

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:38

@aconcertpianist

It does make perfect sense.
You are just not a very nice person. Wow!

OP posts:
aconcertpianist · 13/12/2018 20:39

I'm all for ordinary working mothers realising their ambitions but I want someone who can spell and has a grasp of grammar to teach my child.

Hard luck if that offends but my child comes before the ambition of anyone!

I'm sorry that your knickers have got in such a twist though.

MaisyPops · 13/12/2018 20:41

Leave it will you?
Sometimes people make mistakes and typos online. Sometimes people have fat fingers. Sometimes autocorrect can out the wrong spelling in or add random apostrophes. Sometimes it's a case of people chatting online and not really thinking.
Does it really matter? Who has the time or inclination to pick apart someone's typing online?

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:45

It's fine. It would take alot to offend me. I have disabilities but none have prevented me from obtaining excellent grades.
To your dismal.
However, my teachers and their peers obviously think differently.

However, you aren't stating an opinion. You are being a bully.

No actually concentrating while doing work and commenting on a internet forum is very different when you have disabilities. Luckily for me, universities recognise that. Which is why they work had with people to make them incredible teachers.

OP posts:
ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:47

Being a nice person and someone a child looks upto is already engrained.
FYI.

OP posts:
RebelWitchFace · 13/12/2018 20:48

@aconcertpianist hopefully OP won't end up being your children's teacher because no teacher deserves dealing with parents like you.

@ControversyisSubjective I'm on the fence on this one tbh. I'd be on the teacher's side but I'd need clarification wether the jeering from DD's peers was completely overlooked. I think you need to get all the facts on that one too,if you do decide to bring it up. Using humour to diffuse a situation is fine ,even if sometimes it misses the mark. Letting other children to laugh at another based on what you said it's not.

I'd also let some time pass,let DS have some rest and fun and then revisiting the "I don't fit in comment". It might've been a throw away comment,it might not but for his sake you need to find out for sure and then follow up if needed.

crimsonlake · 13/12/2018 20:50

Now you see what ludicrous complaint teachers have to put up with maybe you should reconsider training as one in your future career. No wonder teachers are leaving in droves.

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:50

@RebelWitchFace
Thank you. I'm going to take this approach. In the back of my mind I did tell myself, children overreact to some things. But I just wanted to discuss it nicely here before doing anything.

OP posts:
FuckingYuleLog · 13/12/2018 20:51

I don’t think the teacher said anything wrong Confused The other children were wrong for teasing but really he should be able to brush that kind of thing off or if they’re really annoying him tell a member of staff. He threw his stick and was told to sit out which is perfectly reasonable imo.
I would be working on self control and how to handle tricky situations personally. You won’t be able to prevent other children from ever being annoying.

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:51

@crimsonlake

Unfortunately yes I do.

OP posts:
ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:51

@FuckingYuleLog
We've established all that but thanks.

OP posts:
RebelWitchFace · 13/12/2018 20:53

@ControversyisSubjective tbh at this time of year it's all whinging,tantrums,crying and moaning. And that's just the staff room.Grin

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 20:55

@RebelWitchFace
No different to nursing then 😁
I'll fit right in!

OP posts:
RolyRocks · 13/12/2018 20:55

I wouldn’t put a comma after the word “errors” because it makes it sound as if the letter was full of errors because the child deserves the best.

I didn’t put a comma after the word “errors” either, if you look back. Again, very easy to make mistakes on an Internet forum!

RolyRocks · 13/12/2018 20:58

Luckily, my blood is stopped running cold by realising that almost evert teacher and TA that posts on here seem highly literate.

You are the gift that keeps on giving aconcertpianist!!

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 21:02

You are the gift that keeps on giving aconcertpianist!!
I picked that up too. Fortunately, I know people make mistakes. Grin

OP posts:
aconcertpianist · 13/12/2018 21:03

But I'm not training to be a teacher and pass my mistakes on! Do you see the difference?

ControversyisSubjective · 13/12/2018 21:04

@aconcertpianist
No you are just on an internet forum, claiming to be superior.

OP posts:
RolyRocks · 13/12/2018 21:06

otherwise I may as well keep them at home and educate them myself.

^and yet you say this...

RebelWitchFace · 13/12/2018 21:06

@aconcertpianist stop fretting darling, one of the most important things teachers learn during their training is how to use spellcheck. It will be rare that your poor eyes will have to be confronted with bad grammar in a school letter, and if they do..well they'll just blame the office.Grin

Vinomcstephens · 13/12/2018 21:09

OP I think you're getting a hard time here.

The OP isn't shouting about going in all guns blazing and has acknowledged working on her sons resilience. Ultimately though, her son is upset and OP wants to talk it through with the school - and THAT is what advice has been asked about.

Sorry I don't actually have any advice for you OP though, other than you've been fair, cool calm and collected on here so I'd take that approach with the school too.

Toastedstrudel · 13/12/2018 21:10

Wait until you’ve been in the classroom as a qualified teacher for a few years then revisit whether you think this is truly worth getting upset over.
Although primary is very different to higher education, I think you’re in for a rude-awakening. I mean that in the kindest way possible.

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