Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DD shouldn't have called me at work because of this?

298 replies

thistleorange · 13/12/2018 15:40

To say she has heard back from one of her unis and got an offer? Not trying to be an arse or unsupportive, but I assumed an emergency, I had to come out of a meeting. Just curious what others thought. Thanks.

OP posts:
MirandaGoshawk · 13/12/2018 17:36

"That you, Teresa?"

LOL!!

BitOutOfPractice · 13/12/2018 17:36

I also spend a lot of time in meetings. I have my phone on silent but I get an alert on my watch and if I see it's from one of the dc or their school I say "excuse me I really have to take this" and step outside. I have never had anyone object. And if they did they're not the kind of people I want to work for. In this case they'd all be delighted for me and send congratulations to my daughter. I realise I'm not a brain surgeon or a lawyer but in that case I wouldn't take the call.

Tink2007 · 13/12/2018 17:40

I sincerely hope that wasn’t the reaction you gave her. Jesus.

Dotty1970 · 13/12/2018 17:42

Omg how horrible, I would want mine to ring me over that, it's exciting for her and she wanted to share her news with her mum!
Mine ring me at work and I never think nothing of it, if I am busy I cut it off and text... I'm busy are you ok.
Shame on you

Cuppateeee · 13/12/2018 17:43

Depends on the type of work. I can ring my mum’s personal, she won’t answer if she’s in a meeting but if it’s an emergency I have her work number.

Strawberry2017 · 13/12/2018 17:43

She wanted to tell her mum exciting news nothing wrong with that. YABU.

CarpeVitam · 13/12/2018 17:48

Well you're succeeding in the arseholery department OP! 🙄

Witchend · 13/12/2018 17:52

Going totally against the grain, I can see the OP's point.

My dd is applying at present.
She's applied to universities that take her predicted grades. You can see on line what she is likely to be offered for her course.
She was pleased, but not surprised to get the offers she has. They were exactly what she expected to be offered.
And they're offers. They still have to achieve the grades-that would be when I would expect the excitement.
I suppose if it wasn't one she expected to get an offer from, or considerably lower than expected, then she might be excited enough to text me straight away, but I think she'd wait until that evening, even if she knew I was at home doing nothing.

If she phoned and asked for me out of a meeting, then I would be expecting it to be something I absolutely needed to know that second. Which would probably mean it was bad, as she does not catastrophise, probably really bad.

I've just asked dd if people get excited about offers in school when they come through.
She said for most people it's either an aspirational offer-in which case they then start worrying about whether they'll be getting the grades, or not, in which case it's fairly as expected. Except medicine which is much more unknown whether they'll get any offers, so any offers there are usually greeted with huge relief.

Dd knows that what she's doing is important to me. She doesn't need to speak to me immediately for her to know that.

katseyes7 · 13/12/2018 17:52

l don't have children of my own but l have two (grown up) stepsons. The eldest in particular (he's 24) rings me a lot. He's rung me to tell me about his research post, working at CERN, and to tell me that he's doing another degree. Oh, and he rang me to announce he was getting engaged.
Bearing in mind l'm not his 'real' mother, it makes me feel especially privileged and happy for him. My own mother wasn't, nothing l ever did was good enough, even though she had no 'achievements' of her own to speak of. l'm always delighted to get a phone call like that. lt's lovely that they want to share it with you.
As previous posters have said, ok, it may have been 'inconvenient' for you to come out of a meeting. But it your meeting was that important, you wouldn't have left. There will always be another meeting. lf you choose to be ambivalent about her good news, you may find she chooses not to share it in future. That's what happened with my mother. l didn't even tell her when l was getting married the second time because of her apathy about the first time.

TheFairyCaravan · 13/12/2018 17:54

YABU

Me and DH were on holiday when DS2 had his first choice offer changed to unconditional. He phoned me straight away because he wanted me to know first. I burst into tears and DH hit the AI bar.

Be happy for her fgs, this is an exciting time.

Redland12 · 13/12/2018 17:57

That’s a big deal to her, that gave me a pang in my heart when i read this, as I remember my daughter telling me this news, I feel sad for you you even had to ask.

Theoryofmould · 13/12/2018 17:58

At least she told you, I had to chase mine to ask if she'd had any offers, 5 times for all five offers she obviously hates me 😂

AnyFucker · 13/12/2018 18:00

You're a cold fish, aren't you ?

tinytemper66 · 13/12/2018 18:05

Are you still in your meeting OP? 😂

Dotty1970 · 13/12/2018 18:12

Has op replied yet?
She's either worked over to make up for lost work during the phone call or the post was a joke.... I think it must be a troll type of post to be honest

TwitterQueen1 · 13/12/2018 18:12

How sad OP, that you don't understand this is the most important thing that has ever happened to your DD. Potentially, it will shape her entire future (if not this uni, then another one) and when my DDs got their offers I was absolutely thrilled! This is HUGE. Please please make up for any lack of enthusiasm tonight...

EdwardBear1920 · 13/12/2018 18:17

I would have been happy for DD to call.

I'd probably have squeaked with delight and jumped up and down in the corridor outside the meeting.

I'd then go back into the meeting very pink-faced and tell people it was an emergency. But then brag that my daughter had a place at uni.

(Semi-joking - of course I wouldn't derail an important meeting, but I would leave the room to answer, spend half a minute being happy with her, then come back in.)

LittleCandle · 13/12/2018 18:27

DD2 woke me at 2am to say her results had just come in and she had got into her first choice university. I am not a nice person in the middle of the night, but I was delighted to be woken for this! DD2 often gives me a quick ring when I am at work. If I don't answer the phone, she knows I am busy and rings back later. If it is an emergency, she just lets the phone keep ringing, knowing I will answer as soon as I can.

soulrider · 13/12/2018 18:27

I don't think the op is being that unreasonable. A quick text or WhatsApp message that can be read when you're free is much better. I always assume that a phone call means an issue/question that requires an instant response not just passing on a bit of news, it's not like it was A level results. Most people I know got offers to all the places they applied to.

Starlight456 · 13/12/2018 18:28

I remember going home to tell my parents I got a place on nursing course. There response “Anyone can get a place on a course . You haven’t passed yet “
When I did qualify I got a card saying they were proud of me . I threw it in the bin. They had no right to be proud and now NC.

My Ds is only 11 but I know that what is important to them may not be what we expect . Doesn’t make it any less valid.

soulrider · 13/12/2018 18:29

And I work with a few people whose children are always giving them 'quick rings' - it's often very disruptive

Nquartz · 13/12/2018 18:32

I called my mum at work to tell her I'd got a cheese board for Christmas with a jan best before date Grin we clearly have too much time on our hands!

BlimeyCalmDown · 13/12/2018 18:36

YABU to post this, just ask her next time to text and you'll call her back as soon as you can.

I do hope you haven't gone and rained on her party...

Congratulations to her from all of us! (even if not you...)

KatKit16 · 13/12/2018 18:58

YABU. You should be stoked that she called you at all.

TroysMammy · 13/12/2018 19:04

An 18 year old patient who lives across the road from the surgery I work in bounced in one day to say he had passed his A levels and was going to Uni in London. I congratulated him and made him a good luck card. He's now graduated and will soon start a job in his chosen field.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread