To exclude one child (out of 21)? Christmas cards at nursery

[QwertyLou]

To be clear, I don’t want to leave this little lad out (nor does DS - they’re good mates) but we have to, due to his parents’ request.

So it’s more of a “how do I handle this?”

I wasn’t going to worry about Christmas cards this year (we did them last year - one for each child in his room).

But today I ended up cutting up cardboard, setting up paints, stamps etc and helped him make cards... He’s been home sick - quite lethargic, but well enough to need occupying.

We now have 21 Christmas cards, lovingly handcrafted and ready to go!

Only now do I remember about this little lad. And wish I thought of something else to keep DS occupied!

Last year, DS loved handing out the cards and the kids were excited to get them. After they all ran off, one of the Mums said “Sorry - we don’t celebrate Christmas” and handed her son’s card back to me (very politely and privately).

I think I said “Oh sorry!” or something inane, and tucked the card into my handbag. It was slightly awkward but all very polite, I soon forgot all about it.

Anyway - a year later, I’ve used it as a teaching moment and explained to my son about different religions and customs.

(my Mum did the same for me, I’d chosen the “Hail Mary” and she said matter-of-factly “oh some of the girls are Protestant and they don’t pray to Mary, choose another prayer!”

My son is fine with the religion discussion but says “Billy” “will be sad if I give a card to everyone but not to him!”

If Billy was a confident, bolshie little boy it would be easier. But he seems a very sensitive little soul. He was overjoyed to be invited to my son’s birthday party because he doesn’t tend to get invited to things often.

I once watched a little girl handing out invites and Billy was beaming, waiting for his. And when he didn’t get one his face... just crumpled and his eyes filled with tears. I just wanted to pick him up and give him the biggest cuddle!

TL;DR - how should my son hand out 20 cards without being mean to the one child he can not give one to?

Are there any non-Christmas celebrators who would be comfortable saying what you would want done?

PS. If I’d remembered earlier, I would have got him to make cards for people outside nursery.

PPS. They don’t have book bags.

keepon The cover or the silky paper??! (I don't know which I think is better)

Annie The pictures in the story of lots wife scared the living daylights out of me. Occasionally my mum thought it would be a nice bedtime story. Que absolute terror about being turned into salt all night.

Cave I was about 5 when she converted fully. Were you too old to have the the 'Father Christmas isn't real... PS. He'll never visit again' conservation?

keepon Wait they actually PLAYED the music??? In the kingdom hall???

This might be harsh but I don't think it's your responsibility to protect this little kid from disappointment. It's his mums decision and therefore she needs to prepare him/warn him. I don't think you should give any card if she expressly gave it back to you last year.

I must confess the cover was a little nibbled but there were whole chunks of silky paper missing.

Yes, they actually played the music. It was a Thursday evening meeting, not Sunday so a little more relaxed. It wasn't played for pleasure but instruction. They also played 'peaches' by the buzzcocks!! I think they were going a bit rogue because it was a couple of weeks before the son of an elder was disfellowshipped for being a punk rocker.

Do you know Billy's favourite character? If Hey Duggee for instance, make him a 'Badge' or if Bing/Thomas, make him a piece of card with a picture of favourite character on, drawn by your son and signed scribbled by him :)

Just let him go wild with non Christmas stamps and dinosaur stickers on a blank card and he can tell him he drew him a picture

My mum was raised JW but my dad converted so they could get married. Then a couple of months later had a bad accident, needed a blood transfusion, refused, spent 13 months in hospital and then things got bad.

My uncle was an elder, had an affair, daughter left home aged 14 to live with a more devout family, married the son at 16, partner swap scandal with JW neighbours a couple of years later, uncle remarried, joined the Mormons, left the Mormons and became a catholic priest (special dispensation for being divorced) PhD in theology, retreats etc, son committed suicide.

I am an atheist.

PMSL how bored were we that I'm sat here saying to myself - 'yeah I could probably have eaten the paper to pass the time'.

I was a bit confused the other year when a JW mum at my kids’ school organised a Christmas buffet lunch for some fellow mums. Complete with Christmas music playing on CD. Meanwhile her son was sitting out of class for all practises of Christmas songs etc!

I agree with the pp it is not yours to solve.

I think the title excluding also suggests you are excluding a child whereas the parent is declining the card different situation.

I also had ankle twirling and polo eating but the polos were rationed, hence the paper. Before that I had pains i my legs that meant I had to be removed from the meetings - very sad.

Until my mum took me to the GP and he said they were psychosomatic and asked her what she was she doing to me. I was dragged out of the surgery and walloped for humiliating her so then I had to learn other ways to cope with the mind numbing boredom.

Hi. We don't celebrate Christmas but our kids still join in at school and the community and they know we don't celebrate it personally. They flare 5, 4 and 1. We also write cards to his friends as they enjoy it. But if the mother doesn't like it then there's not much you can do. Can you arrange a play day and write it in a card instead?

At the nursery where I used to work they had a post box and then the cards were put in the children’s tray and they were all doled out in a bag (with cards and gifts the children had made for their parents), which avoided kids knowing if they had or had t received cards.

Make a happy new year card ?

That's The Damn Trouble Today.
Everyone Wants to Deny the existence of God Instead of Having Faith thy Way it USED TO AND SHOULD BE!
His teachings have been around TOO LONG to be B/S!

Really mrbreezeet? Which god are you talking about exactly?

I can't work out if MrB's being ironic or not ...

Also mrbreezeet I also highly recommend the book 'A History of God' by Karen Armstrong. It might shine some light on your basic ideas of where the bible came from.

keepon It's so weird I developed an unknown leg 'condition' (it sort of ached a tiny bit) which resulted in a hospital stay and the doctors declaring it must be a viral condition as they couldn't see any reason for it. I played computer games for the first time ever there lol.

There are some really lovely suggestions on this thread (like the friendship cards) and some absolutely ridiculous ‘poor me’ comments.

I was bought up JW. Not once did I feel left out. I accepted cards and said thanks whilst explaining I didn’t celebrate.

Because I wouldn’t on my birthday mum gave me sweets or a cake to share on the last day of school.

I had a ‘summer party’ every year often with a bouncy castle and sometimes with fireworks, as well as at least one separate ‘present day’ a year with all the family.

As regards the homosexual comments. JW’s were a lot nicer to them even before it wasn’t widely accepted in society. There are some JW’s that have those feelings, the practice isn’t accepted, but it’s your choice whether to follow it or not. (I suppose for them it’s like a vow of celibacy?) No one makes you. Which is better than many other experiences my friends in other faiths have had.

Give them some respect.

Some dodgy as fuck anti-religious comments on this thread. I wonder if the comments were calling Muslims dickheads instead of JWs it would be tolerated

And with respect OP it's not your place to decide wether or not this boy should have Christmas in his life based on his reaction to one thing once, if his mum says no cards you need to respect that. As in now even a 'happy holidays' card. I think you should get the nursery staff to hand them out. I know your son enjoys it but it's a chance to teach him about handling sensitivities around others

*not even

“Some dodgy as fuck anti-religious comments on this thread. I wonder if the comments were calling Muslims dickheads instead of JWs it would be tolerated hmm”

I woldn’t anyone a dickhead just because of their religion- unless they interpret their religion in a dickheadish way. But I am happy to speak out against all religions including Islam. I am a fearless, equal opportunities anti religionist.