To say something about religious nativity play?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

The DC go to a private day nursery. It doesn't have a religious affiliation. It was their Christmas play today. They did a loose version of the nativity and then at the end, there was a bit of recitation - "and that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Christians believe he came back from the dead and everyone who finds Jesus will be happy."

Dd who is under 4 is now asking "what does it mean, Jesus died?" And "should we go and look for Jesus?"

Aibu to mention to nursery management that this has resulted in some awkward conversations and maybe next year, they could choose something non-religious, bearing in mind lots of the families that use the nursery aren't believing Christians?

How can you not have told your child that people die?

And Worra she thinks you look for dead people because that's what they told her . They said Christians think Jesus is dead but he came back and now we should look for him.

Well, if he came back she shouldn’t be looking for dead people, he’s alive.
What’s wrong with saying Christians believe Jesus is in heaven with God? You don’t have to believe that. It’s absolurly right for people to make up there own minds.

Op you simply tell her the truth. Death is real. The nativity is a story that some people believe in. Like all religious stories. There really is no need to make a big deal out of it.

When my children were very small and asked about death I told them that when people's bodies don't work any more then they die. And that death very definitely isn't like going to sleep. That once someone dies, they don't come back.

Then they shrugged and got on with their day.

Purple don't be silly. My children have attended this nursery FT since 6 mos old. Of course I am not going to pull all of them out because their preschool did a play I wasn't keen on.

Honestly, and people are telling me to get a grip! I suggested maybe having a quiet word with the nursery manager, a woman I've known for years.

Has she not come across death before? That's unusual at her age. We talked about it in terms of people coming to the end of their lives when my DDs were little and we also had a book that was helpful (Badger's parting gifts). I also didn't shield them from dead animals or news that people we knew had died.

I think for the nursery they were just trying to put the nativity into context for the children, I wouldn't complain on the grounds of them mentioning death although you could mention that you didn't realise it was a religious nursery and see what they say.

OP, you ARE being silly. Why ask if you can't handle the answers?

Tbf there is no non-Christian way to do the nativity. It is the story of the birth of Jesus.

I guess you could ask them to have a winter themed concert or something instead? But I doubt you will get anywhere. Christmas is obviously now celebrated by non-Christians, but I think we’re still a long way from not teaching kids about the origin of the celebration.

If it’s just the death part you’re concerned about, I’d look for resources for talking to kids about death in a supportive way.

Well Christmas is religious.

It celebrates the birth of Jesus - what did you expect?

Okay, so genuinely what do you say to a 3yo about death when it's just been raised point blank like that?

You’ve never talked to her about flowers dying?
Dead insects?
Talked to her about birds digging for worms?
Shown her a documentary about animals/sea creatures hunting?
You’ve never talked about people growing old, their bodies wearing out and dying?
People dying in wars or through illness?

How did you explain poppies for Remembrance Sunday?

I’m a bit stumped that you’ve managed to avoid fairly basic discussions about this stuff tbh.

They said Christians think Jesus is dead but he came back and now we should look for him.
and so You say. 'no, we dont need to look for him because its just a story that's told around christmas time.'
Job done.

Oh and death. - When people die it means they are no longer around, which can be sad when its someone we love.
There you go.

You are free to vote with your feet and find a nursery doing a non religious nativity play

Best of luck finding a nursery or primary that offer an option other than standard nativity play or nothing at all.
It's not so much the presence of the nativity play that irks, but the total absence of anything else. Getting children to act out a story from one religion alone year in year out is mild indoctrination; and the nativity is always presented as fact, even if couched in 'Christians believe'. It's then left to the non-Christians to challenge this in their offspring.

You just explain it to her. And be grateful that you have this opportunity to explain death in the context of a man who died 2,000 years ago, rather than because someone your child loves has died.

If you have a serious problem with this in the future, you'll have to write to nursery, and then school, to ask her to be withdrawn from all religious stuff.

I didn't know about death at 4. I'm surprised at the posters who think that all 4 year olds should know.

We didn't have a TV, and I doubt that I had been to the cinema by then, so I would not have come across the concept.

The reason that Christmas exists is because of Christians believe in the birth of Jesus Christ. I think everyone should be taught this - and I am a non-believer.
My DD goes to a non-religious school but I was pleased that they did a loose version of the nativity so that she gets an understanding of why the Christmas celebration exists - just as she has learnt all about Diwali at school and hopefully many others during the year.
The fact they stated 'Christians believe......' shows that they weren't presenting it as fact but as an education around the Christmas celebration.

LoniceraJaponica id have thought most 4 year olds had come across a dead insect/animal? That’s how mine first came across death.

Just explain to him it’s a story. If you are atheist, tell him it’s like every other fairytale, if you are religious, explain it in suitable words for his age and your belief.
It’s not hard. Tell your child what you think is the ‘correct’ Christmas story.

You would not have Christmas with out Christ.

Do not confuse me with a religious pusher as I'm each to there own my faith is my own.

However if this pisses you off your going to be that knob parent in actual school.

Maybe you should be teaching your children about all religions as it's interesting a fact of life and then that way you won't feel like an eejit because your 4 year old has never heard of Jesus. Shows more lacking than anything.

Okay so to be clear - they do not teach about other religions. My children have attended this nursery for years. They do not do Chanukah, Diwali etc. They don't.

I think it is important for children to learn about other religions but in a balanced way - ie if you are one you do all - and very clearly as "some people believe this, others don't".

3yos just hear "my nursery keyworker said Jesus came back from the dead".

No we were waiting to discuss death till she was a bit older and it came up naturally, probably when her great grandma, who is in her 90s and poorly, dies.

"Everyone who finds Jesus will be happy" is a bit too abstract for a 3yo but you could explain it in terms of believing in him or praying to him or knowing that God loves you.

Your 4 yo doesn’t know about death? confused. Why on earth not?

It's not that hard to find matching hamsters/goldfish.

"Oh look, Hammy's woken up from his snooze!"

It's the Nativity, what did you expect it to be? And how have you avoid any conversations about death? Why have you never brought it up? You realise if it had come up before, maybe at remembrance day or any other time, it wouldn't be as difficult now.

Good luck when she asks where the chicken in her dinner came from.......

You are going to get much more awkward questions in the coming few years than where jesus might currently be.

ask her to be withdrawn from all religious stuff

But why is opt-in the default in a secular setting? Why should she be withdrawn from an activity the other children are participating in because we all think it's acceptable for the Christian church to get this gimme every year?
When do you ever hear of stories from Buddhism, Sikhism, or Hinduism being performed by children?

Er, is there such thing as an irreligious nativity play?