I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

[TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter]

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I thought you brought it up with the TA, not the teacher?

On a Friday, they count the readings for that week. It is a very easy system to understand.

You are making an issue out of this when there is no need to and your son is losing out because of it after all his efforts at reading. It is simply not worth it.

prh47bridge no, that's not the way it was done at all.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't understand it.
That's exactly why I posted it on facebook because it made no sense.

I have never left blank spaces and filled them in after she has marked them. Never.

She refuses to acknowledge any work written down between her mark dates.

So she CAN see them. I HAVENT gone back and filled out work. She just refuses to mark them.
I don't know how else to word it. But I'm very glad to see that other people don't understand it either.

She marks the ones done THAT WEEK on a Friday.

What about that don’t you understand?

Sorry I’m not buying that it’s a monthly reward.
Fair enough. It's my own stupid fault for leaving that vital bit of information out.

I don't think I would believe it either!

“But I'm very glad to see that other people don't understand it either.”

Practically ever poster understands it but you.

Your faux naïveté is not a good look.

But I'm very glad to see that other people don't understand it either.

It honestly seems to be like you are the only one who doesn’t understand it.

Hopefully the teacher can help explain it to you at your meeting, it is their job to teach people after all. Maybe she can find some way of communicating the information to you in way you understand.

Although bizarrely you appear to have concluded yourself that filling it in every Thursday would solve the problem. You said this pretty early on. It indicates you do understand really.

She only marks what has been read that week. It’s really not hard to understand. If she’s looking at it on 16th she isn’t marking 8th as she was marking that week the previous week.
You might not agree with it op but it’s not hard to understand and you could save a whole lot of bother for yourself and your child by just filling it in on the right day.

So it's now looking like this to me: your son reads every day even though it's hard for him.

And then he doesn't get the reward he should get for his work because there's something you do on a Thursday night that you feel is more important than filling in his reading record.

And you want to blame the TA for upsetting him instead of rethinking your priorities.

I don't know whether the system is sensible, but I do think you're going the wrong way about challenging it.

You should have spoken to the class teacher about this. Writing comments on Facebook along the lines of doing someone else's job for them is bound to get people's backs up.

Just fill the book in every night. I'm sure you have a few minutes to spare, are you the only parent with the issue?

School has simple as you go recording system
OP decides to make own system.
TA marks according to simple school system.
OP : ‘It’s not faaaair !’
Mumsnet : why don’t you do it then simple school way ?
OP : ‘ I’m right, she’s wrong, you are all wrong, it’s not faaaaair !’

This thread is getting to be like the Two Ronnies sketch where the contestant answered the current question with the previous question's answer.

But not as funny .

I wonder if the op has the same attitude to paying for meals in a restaurant, " yes, I know you want payment today, but it's not convenient for me to pay until the weekend so you will just have to remember what we've eaten because I do things my way, not according to the system you have agreed to with all your other customers because I am a very busy person and my time is more important than yours. And look, your insistence on me paying on time has really upset my child, so I am going to leave you a nasty message on trip advisor for the world to see."

And you were a complete knob to say you would do the ta job for them on Facebook. That was out of order and you owe the ta an apology. They are doing what they’re told. You are being obstreperous. And rude. And unfair.

I'm known to flick in to 'arsehold mode' far too easily

And today's award for stating the bleeding obvious goes to....

Just do what most parents do and write it in on the day. You are clearly one of those parents.

OP

People on your Facebook group who are “agreeing with you”.....

Think about it, they are going to see you in the playground. They aren’t going to write “just full the thing in you lazy so and so” they have zero incentive to tell you your being stupid. Everyone on that group who hasn’t replied is thinking the same thing.

Those that have replied are the sort of people that have to click like or reply to every post on their time line and are just telling you what you want to hear.

Meanwhile, 7 pages of people who don’t have a vested interest and can comment subjectively, pretty much all think you are in the wrong.

Even if you are right about the ticking count (which frankly you clearly are not) you’ve still been unreasonable posting it in a Facebook group. Can you not see this?

Careful viques, now the OP is going to tell you that you’re losing perspective, he’s only 7 and doesn’t go in restaurants!

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter If you put half the effort into signing your DD's reading log on time that you put into this thread and posting on facebook, you wouldn't have a need to ask about this in the first place!

Why should the school change it’s sysrem that applies to every other parent, for you?

Unfortunately teachers these days do not like to put in the extra effort with students who might need the little extra help

And there is the perfect explanation for why teachers are leaving in their droves. I can't think of many jobs that I'd rather do less except prime minister.

I'm frankly confused by this whole thing - if you do the reading, just write it down at the same time.

However, I agree with the pp who suggested that the whole idea of reading at home being rewarded by play at school is unfair.

Well I dont think OP is going to admit to bu despite 7 pages of posters saying she is . I do hope for the sake of her DS she starts doing things the way the school asks instead of being 'that parent'

She refuses to acknowledge any work written down between her mark dates.
Yes, that's it, OP, that's the deal.
Weekly they tick the reading they have recorded.
Monthly, she counts the ticks

Either engage and do it the way they want it done, or don't engage, and speak - as I have done to the teacher and say, we read every night, but we do it for pleasure and because it is important and because it is what we do - not for marks in a bullshit ofsted pleaser reading diary, and without fail, please assume we are reading.

What chocolatestash said!

I am a TA and I would be so upset if a parent discussed a problem with me on a public forum. It was public to all the other parents within the class and you may have unfairly represented me based on your own beliefs which may or may not be true. And you have influenced the parental perceptions of me. This is unethical and immoral behaviour which has further teaching consequences that could be negative. I am pretty sure you wouldn't want me to discuss you or your child on a closed page with the teachers of the school? If you have an issue with a professional then take your concerns to the school or the person you have a issue with.