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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not pay for lesson

258 replies

Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:01

My DS goes to music lessons each week. He really enjoys it and he likes his tutor. The tutor runs a private business and asks for notice if we’re unable to attend (fair enough). So, when we’ve had school trips or holidays we’ve always given him at leat two weeks notice that DS won’t be attending.

However on two separate occasions we missed the lesson because of a traffic accident and bad traffic. So I called to let him know, apologising but obviously letting the tutor know that circumstances are out of our control. On both occasions he’s been rather rude saying we don’t value his time. On the second occasion he said that we’d need to pay for the lesson we’ve missed.

I don’t think that right because a) he’s never stated this before; b) my DS has been having lessons for over 18 months; and c) we can’t control traffic.

Am I being unreasonable- should I pay for the missed lesson?

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 11/12/2018 15:34

That was meant to say before my fingers had a brain fart and somehow posted,

"Crikey, that's a bit draconian..."

arethereanyleftatall · 11/12/2018 15:36

I don't know about other ballet schools, just this one. It is very strict, but it's really good, and they're up front about it, so I just suck it up - and get in to traffic very early!

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 11/12/2018 15:37

I take music lessons and have missed a lesson due to heavy traffic. At no time did I question whether I could get away with not paying my tutor. I appreciate short notice isn't measurable and perhaps should be defined by the tutor, but the day itself cannot be anything other, surely?

JinglingHellsbells · 11/12/2018 15:38

You pay.

I was once a tutor. I used to invoice parents each half term, There were no refunds except at my discretion because if 10 children were ill in one week and didn't come, I'd lose a lot of money! I used to have parents skipping lessons because their child 'preferred' to go to a birthday party after school, or similar. well, fine, but I couldn't afford to be out of pocket.

The rule is, I made a commitment of my time to be available for them, and they made a commitment to attend and pay. If they couldn't attend, I'd not be able to fill their place and my time was wasted.

onalongsabbatical · 11/12/2018 15:41

I think you have to look at it like this; you are not paying per class, you are paying for the fact that you have a reserved slot, whether or not you use it. The fact that you were unable to use it cannot mean that the tutor was able to magically use that time for anything else, he would have been sat there waiting. In your slot. Which you must pay for. You could even think of it like rent, if you rent a dwelling, you don't get a refund because you stay somewhere else for a week, do you?

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 11/12/2018 15:41

You need to pay him, you essentially pay for the slot, even though you didn't use it. It's not like they could use that space so they would lose out on income through no fault of their own. I dont know why you would want to deprive them of money tbh.

Avrannakern · 11/12/2018 15:42

You need to pay. It's standard practice. I was hit by a motorbike on my way home from uni and still had to pay for my missed lessons. I didn't even once consider arguing because it's completely fair.

Oysterbabe · 11/12/2018 15:42

Yes you pay.
And I call reverse.

ButteryParsnips · 11/12/2018 15:43

'Bad traffic' = 'didn't leave enough time to get there' and I say that as someone who terrible at punctuality.

When I arrive at my yoga class late, that's on me. I don't ask my teacher to discount the price because I didn't get the first ten minutes!

JinglingHellsbells · 11/12/2018 15:43

What you have to understand OP is that this private teaching is someone's livelihood.

I chose to tutor and earned the equivalent of a half-time post in a school. Our budget at home was based on that.

It wasn't just pin money I could take or leave, depending on who turned up each week.

I used to give what I thought was a professional service; each child had their lesson prepared for them, with photocopying done, worksheets made, etc. Often, it they missed the lesson, some of that prep could not be used again as it was tailored (sometimes) to their school projects or homework. So the time I'd spent would be wasted if they didn't turn up.

Just showing you the other side. Not quite the same for music, but for me, the lesson involved 30 mins prep for each student.

MegMez · 11/12/2018 15:44

You pay for the lesson even though missing it is out of your hands. The music tutor has no chance to fill that hour pupil. I have friends who are music teachers and that money is their income, it's their salary. The tutor will have planned the lesson, they will have a clear schedule for that class. Even if it were a shared class it is unreasonable to expect them to be OK with less income because of traffic. Most clubs and classes that my kids do are on a monthly direct debit. I wouldn't think to ask for my money back from gymnastics or beavers or whatever if my kids missed a session because of illness or traffic.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 11/12/2018 15:44

It's his livelihood.

If you turned up for work but were told to go home without pay because the boss got stuck in traffic, how would you feel about your employer?

Pay up

londonrach · 11/12/2018 15:44

I dont understand why you questioning this. Of course you pay. Yabu

JustABetterPlayer · 11/12/2018 15:45

You could have left earlier, you should pay.

Collaborate · 11/12/2018 15:45

I pay for weekly lessons. I can cancel with notice, but one time recently I forgot and only gave him a days notice. I told him I'd still pay him, and he sounded non-committal about it. When i paid him double the next week he was genuinely appreciative, which made me realise how important it was for him.

It's the decent thing to do.

DragonMamma · 11/12/2018 15:45

It’s pretty standard to have to pay for a missed lesson.

My DD does piano and we get charged if we give less than 24hrs notice to cancel. Similarly if we can’t make because of illness etc. we have to pay. Them the breaks!

MutedUser · 11/12/2018 15:45

Yes of course you need to pay why wouldn’t you I’m baffled

MyKingdomForBrie · 11/12/2018 15:46

He's been very generous not taking payment for the first one you missed due to 'traffic'.

RoboticMary · 11/12/2018 15:54

He was very good to let you off the first time. Of course you should pay up! Can’t believe you’re even asking...

Original poster
Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:55

Traffic unavoidable - school pick up! I should have been clear. I wouldn’t mind paying if his messages hadn’t been so CF! And no terms and conditions. If he had stipulated in the first place or even after the first time then I would pay. Whilst it’s not his fault it isn’t mine either.

Love the time management comments! Completely unavoidable

OP posts:
QuantumPixies · 11/12/2018 15:57

There’s one CF here and it isn’t him...

QuantumPixies · 11/12/2018 15:58

It’s avoidable if you’d booked a later lesson. Not his fault at all. Regardless of whether you feel it’s your fault or not, you still have to pay for his time.

JacquesHammer · 11/12/2018 15:58

Whilst it’s not his fault it isn’t mine either

Yes it is. You clearly cannot manage the lesson reliably with the school run.

Are you really suggesting he should be out of pocket?

Original poster
Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:58

Thank you also music teachers for your comments. I appreciate the time and effort you seem to put into your sessions. My DC doesn’t recieve that type of service.

OP posts:
Ngaio2 · 11/12/2018 15:59

This is his livelihood and he is prepared to take the lesson, made time etc. You are fortunate to be able to pay by the lesson and not to have to commit by paying by the term.

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