To adopt a kitten I can't look after?

[kittencatmeow]

I absolutely cannot manage a pet myself. I'm not an animal person and my OCD just wouldn't handle it plus our home isn't really pet friendly (high building, small flat)

DS (6) on the other hand adores animals, wants to be a vet and loves helping relatives and friends care for theirs

Friend has just had kittens (her cat actually) she once mentioned that she might keep one next time, and my son could "own it" living at theirs

She lives literally over the road and has several animals.

She may or may not actually decide to keep any kittens as obviously it's extra work for her

But IF she did... and it was "my DS cat" that lived over the road... I don't think she will be totally honest about how much it may cost, she's the type of person who does herself over sometimes by giving far too much of herself... how much should I consider I should budget, what would DS need to be responsible for, vet bills, food, bedding, toys etc...

And can cats ever safely visit other homes? Like could it ever come to stay for brief periods of time? Or would that totally confuse it?

Just wondering so I can clue up in case she does decide to keep one we can adopt...

I think you have to be very clear about ownership of pets, or problems occur.

Such as?

Sorry I'm clearly clueless...

You would basically just be paying for someone else to have a cat.
In what way would it be your sons cat? Why can’t you just say one of the cats she already owns is his?

FGS. Please don't do this. It's a horrible idea.

What happens if you or she moves house? Fall out?

DS is 6, why not just leave it as him helping other people with their pets rather than him having this kitten that you won't take on if friend moves etc.

I'm sure you could catsit it occasionally maybe.

I can’t see how this would work. It can’t visit if it can’t have food and a litter tray at yours. Who pays for vets and makes medical decisions? What if they or you move? If she keeps a cat it will live at her house. So how can it be your cat?

Yes I would really be paying for her to keep a cat... but I was thinking he could name it, feed it, play with it, take responsibility for it?

He can't have one she already has- they're hers and her DS' cats

But this cat would be their cat too.

He’s six.

He won’t be taking responsibility for it your neighbour will.

I think it’s lovely that you’re trying to come up with ways to make your son happy but you’re going to have to go back to the drawing board I fear.

Are there lots of medical decisions to make? I am literally so clueless... I just sort of thought you insure them and do what the vet recommends?

He won’t be there to feed it every day. Multiple times a day.
How often will he go round to play with it?
Surely she’s just after you paying the bills and getting very little back?
Cats can live over 20 years. It’s a huge commitment which you clearly aren’t happy to take on in full. So no. Don’t do it.

Check out if you would be paying for the vet,neutering,yearly injections,regular flea and worming.
Also the cat may decide it likes your son and try to move into your home,or your son may sneak it in.
Kittens are cute but they grow into cats and live for years so your son could loose interest as he grows up and you would still be paying for the cat.

This isnt a good idea. For one it will be teaching your ds that you can pick and choose what parts of pet ownership you want to be involved in.

Also, tell your friend to spay her pets.

No she's definitely not after money from me...

She's the sort who gets exploited rather than exploits people so I wanted to be very careful if I did take the idea any further that I wasn't just giving her extra work... and cost...

I guess cats are more difficult than I thought?

Don't do this.

Insurance doesn't cover everything. I spent £1500 on my 3's teeth and they are under 5.

I think rather than own the cat, you'll be paying for it to live in someone else's house. Your son will probably get just as much time with it if she owned it and he went to visit.

Cats generally like to live in one house. Theyre vrry territorial. It might get confused. It might get over/under fed. There might be times when it's left out because you think it's at your friends house and vice versa.

If the cat lives with her it’s her cat. Him going over every now and again and you paying for it doesn’t make it his cat.

Just wait until you move into a more suitable property and then get a cat.

This is only going to end badly.

I just think it’s a massive imposition on your neighbour.

So she has to wait for your son to get their to feed the cat, my cats would go mental if I fed the other cats and not them.
She would have to let your son in whenever to play with ‘his cat’.
But yet she’s have to do all the cleaning the litter tray, hoovering the cat hair, pinning it down to flea treat it, all the shitty bits.

Cat couldn't really get confused and come to us... unless it can work lifts and use Yale keys

Bugger I hoped I'd found a lovely solution

Cats cost money! Food, vet bills etc. Who will be paying those?

I can't see this working.

Well yes I thought I would pay for the cat... vet food etc

But I take your point about not working feeding time around other animals

How old are her children?

Cats don’t just bond to the person you tell them to bond to (otherwise my cats wouldn’t love dh so much and be mine, all mine!) when your sons not there it will be sleepingon her children’s beds, playing with them, sitting on their knees watching telly. How can you say to them that it’s not their cat?

I think it would cause conflict.

Monthly deflea treatment.
Three monthly deworming.
Yearly vaccinations.
Paying for neutering and microchipping.
Grooming regularly.
My old girl was on mess costing over £60 a month. Who would pay that?
He wouldn’t be cuddling up with this cat and playing with it each evening.
It won’t be his cat.
Daft idea.

This might sound extreme, but I would get a basic contract in place to cover vet fees.

It sounds like you are asking her to have a cat just so your son can play with it when he feels like it (he's 6, so isn't going to understand responsibility). As someone said above, you are teaching him that animals aren't for life.

I think your neighbour is being very kind, She is saying to you that she’s thinking of keeping one of the kittens and, if she does, your DS can pretend it’s his? Is this right?

The problem you might have is that the cat may well follow DS home and visit you fairly frequently. They go by smell,sense where they might be welcome and where they are not in the territory of other cats. So, very importantly - do you live on a busy road? If you do, I would not recommend as it’s a risk for the cat going backwards and forwards.

Do not feed the cat at your house. They will quite happily have 2 homes given half a chance.

Your DS May lose interest / not feel comfortable being over at her house every day. Be very clear about expectations.

Does your neighbour live alone? Would she like your son’s company? Maybe this is why she’s offering?

It will essentially be her cat but you could offer to pay an agreed amount per month and for you son to visit at set times.

Do this ONLY if you are sure the neighbour is intending to keeps kitten anyway. Do not be beholden to her for the next 15 years!