Not picking people up for xmas?

[StephenQueenBooks]

I have been asked to pick up my brother, sil and their two kids (3 and 2) on Xmas day as they can't drive/get public transport. I don't drink so fine with this as my mum wants a tipple (I live with her just out of uni).

When I spoke to my brother about it last night I said we should all fit in even with the carseats and he said he didn't have any.

I told him I'm not having two toddlers in my car not in carseats because it's not safe and I don't want the fine. I said you either get car seats or you'll have to come a different day when you can get the bus. My mum is backing me up however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Aibu to say no carseats, no lift? I've only just started driving last month and lifts are the bane of my life!

I can't believe the OP is getting a hard time, she's being eminently sensible and doing as much as she should given the cirumstances. Why should she prop up her much older brother? Now they are making her feel guilty I would feel even less inclined if I were her.

Of course OP shouldn't give them a lift without car seats. From what I've read I feel desperately sorry for the children who are living with such feckless parents.

Op you are totally right. The police are out on Christmas Day looking for drink drivers etc and if they saw you driving with two small kids on laps they'd have you for it. It's against the law and for good reason. Ask your brother to watch you tube videos of what happens if children are not in car seats in a crash. It doesn't have to be your fault to find yourself involved in a serious accident. Far from the OP not giving a shit about her niece and nephew having a good Christmas, I would say she is giving hit that they should live longer than until Christmas if they were to be involved in an accident.You can get cheap car seats from Argos. The parents should pay or get the bus.

it's hard to help out as the only help they see is cash. Everything else is just expected

So why do the family just keep on enabling them?

Unless there's more to this than you've said they sound like lazy, feckless wasters and they'll probably go right on being that way while someone else is picking up the pieces

YNBU

I second the other PPs who say it's sometimes not a great thing to do a 40 minute walk. Depends where you live. I can do an hour's walk each way for, to instance, the local pub (20minutes by car) but the rural roads have no pavements and deep banks and hedges, so nowhere to hide with a push chair ... and the cross country route has so many stiles it would probably take 1.30. Also cold for kids just sitting in backpacks. And wrong time of year.

crosstalk the kids can walk for 40 minutes... :/ they have legs presumably...

Even if the parents feels they can't walk for the whole time they can walk for some of it.

My brother text me back saying "obviously were aren't welcome if you won't pick us up, it's only ten minutes in the car and they'll be fine. 's Mum said she would pick us up without them, you like that car too much, the kids won't be eating in it."

"It's not about the car being messy or how far away it is, I told you if you had car seats it's fine, I don't want to get fined because you haven't put them in car seats and can't be arsed to get it sorted. If 's mum wants to risk it then do as you like."

"You're acting like a child, they're my kids, if you had your own I wouldn't tell you what to do with them."

I'm fuming. I don't even know how to reply to that!

Send him a link with the info that it is DRIVER’S responsibility so YOURS and not you brother’s that the passengers in the car are strapped properly.

I'd sent a text back saying "Let me know when you've sorted the car seats" .

And send him this link:

Text back saying

"well will you be paying the £100 fixed penalty notice if we get caught?"

What a total knob. He’s willing to risk you getting fined-how kind of him!

Personally I wouldn't engage; he's behaving like a stropping toddler because he's used to being enabled and you're really not forced to do it

If you want to reply at all, maybe just tell him to let you know when he's decided what to do

There was a story in the news last week where someone put loads of people in a car & children with no car seats. They were caught and banned from driving. Do not risk your driving license for them. Can they get a bus ?

Isn’t your brother a delight? I’d just tell him to go to his MIL then.

Cutesbabasmummy there's no point showing the brother that video (especially 3:17) because he'd just respond and say "I'll hold onto the kids - that dummy can't hold on" or some such nonsense.

Then **'s Mum can drive them to your mums - problem solved!

Surely he can ask around at nursery etc If anyone has any spares they can borrow for a few days? I have spare car seats in case my mum takes the DC to save getting mine out the car.

Or look at a second hand sale. They only need to be in the cheaper booster style Halfords do one for £25. Even if they borrowed one and bought one.

It's amazing that they don't care about the safety of their children or if you lose your licence! The chances are you wouldn't get caught but knowing sods law it would be the one time the police see you!

I would never put my child in a car without a car seat, short journey or not it's just not safe.

What a complete scummy low life. The drugs have really messed up his brain if he can't see that what he is doing is so dangerous.

Sounds like you will have a nicer Christmas without him.

He sounds horrible.

Tell him he's putting his children at risk in an accident and then leave it at that. They can spend Xmas with his MIL and you and your Mum can relax and see them another time when they brave public transport. You've done more than your share.

I’m sure if someone ploughs into your car on Christmas night and both of his children plummet through your windscreen at speed, he’ll be just fine with that.

What part of "it's illegal" does he not understand? Oh wait, he does drugs. He thinks he is above the law then