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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend put videos of me on his social media ...aibu to be annoyed?

128 replies

harriet333 · 09/12/2018 16:51

Friday night I went out to my works Christmas party.
I got very drunk.
Got back and I was struggling to make it upstairs /being sick as I went into a bucket.
Woke up Saturday morning and he had snap chatted it all to his Snapchat.
Me lying on the stairs,a video of me being sick a video of me passed out in bed.
Aibu to be annoyed here?

OP posts:
PyeWackets · 09/12/2018 17:46

Deal breaker for me, I'm not into humiliation or someone who doesn't understand consent.

category12 · 09/12/2018 17:47

He doesn't think much of you, does he? This was intended to humiliate you.

What's the rest of your relationship like?

YourMilkshakeIsBetterThanMine · 09/12/2018 17:47

Def LTB. He's deliberately tried to embarrass you. I bet he'd think it ok to snapchat you in labour too. Snapchat the crowning, the stitches, your first pp poo.

Ated · 09/12/2018 17:49

Get the little boys phone when he is asleep. Put it in the washing machine on full heat, maximum spin for multiple washes and presoak in neat bleach as well. See if he finds that funny. Don't forget to open it first.

Miljah · 09/12/2018 17:51

The church DH and I wanted to get married in (in the UK) wanted us to go on a 'preparation for marriage' course... Grin. Which we did (in Oz). There were lots of Catholic couples there who were pleasing family/keeping with tradition etc but who's priests demanded they attend, too.

A part of it was a Saturday where we and probably 10 other couples had talks, discussions, took part in 'exercises' as couple or in teams.

Interestingly, 2 couples left after lunch... still wonder what happened there! But in the afternoon, a practical exercise we had to do involved going across to a local park that had a junior skateboard area in it. In our couples, we took turns at being blindfolded while the other talked their partner around the course.

We were obviously being supervised, but it was shocking how many couples, particularly the blokes guiding their girlfriends/fiances had to be stopped because they were deliberately putting them in danger! 'Guiding' them to the very edge of a 2' concrete drop off! Thinking it was oh-so-funny.

They complemented DH (to be) and I in how we steered each other well away from danger and edges.

When we went back to the centre to debrief, the leaders clearly said that people who felt it was okay to do that were possibly not ready to treat their partner with the trust and respect that marriage demands, in almost as many words. They 'made' us all figure that out for ourselves via 'How do you feel about how your partner guided you?'- but the message was clear.

Cue several blokes muttering and looking at their shoes.

I still wonder how many of them got married, and how many still are? I know I will sound smug at saying DH and I are 21 years in, now, but, to me, respect is at the very centre of any relationship. Posting humiliating photos on Snapchat is not respectful. And god knows, over 21 years, DH would have had ample opportunity to do the same, but was more likely to be holding my hair off my face as I threw up than videoing me!!

Frequency · 09/12/2018 17:51

The first thing I would have done this morning is snapchatted myself packing his bags but my tolerance for arseholes is zero.

ChimesAtMidnight · 09/12/2018 17:54

Nasty, disrespectful and huge violation of your privacy and trust in him.
This.
It's a huge breach of your privacy.

fringegrin45 · 09/12/2018 17:54

I don't know if I'd LTB but I'd def take this opportunity to get this boundary sorted

He needs to know you're not ok with him posting photos or videos of you without your consent

But particularly a) in privacy of own home and b) when you were too drunk to object or stop him

Who is he trying to impress I wonder?

He

maras2 · 09/12/2018 17:54

Thank Christ that I don't even know what fucking snapchat is. Angry
What a twat though.

Ated · 09/12/2018 18:07

Chilli powder in his shoes, socks and underwear and crushed senna tablets in his toothpaste, food, water bottle and anything else. Even put disclosure tablets in the toothpaste or mouthwash. Then snapchat and film him.

simonisnotme · 09/12/2018 18:11

wow , hes a prize twat , snapchat his bags on the step

Ohmno · 09/12/2018 18:13

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂👍

masterandmargarita · 09/12/2018 18:16

I thought snap chat was a teenagers thing. Sorry if I'm wrong!

DarklyDreamingDexter · 09/12/2018 18:18

Horribly disrespectful. It would be a complete deal breaker for me. LTB.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2018 18:19

That dreadful of him, shows a total lack of care and respect to you, and to put it on social media with the intention of humiliating you. This would make me think less of him.

harriet333 · 09/12/2018 18:22

I'm pleased I'm not the only one who would be annoyed.
I'm feeling more human now thank god

OP posts:
Poster65 · 09/12/2018 18:24

36 and on snapchat(come on!), posting pics of his sick drunk gf?

Fuck that, get rid

skybluee · 09/12/2018 18:25

I would end the relationship.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/12/2018 18:25

He stops immediately, deletes all footage and swears to never do it again

Too late I'm afraid - those images could be anywhere by now

Admittedly I'm sensitive about this kind of thing after my ex sneaked naked pics of me to share with his OW, but I'd go absolutely ballistic. No doubt this fool will try to pass it off as a bit of a joke, but I'm afraid I'd be out of there before it gets worse

Changingagain · 09/12/2018 18:26

Unless he can understand the issue and promise you that he wouldn't do it again, I really would leave him for that. I just wouldn't be able to feel comfortable in my own home with him around.

Also, as a pp said, if I saw a video like that of a friend, filmed by their dp, I would be really worried about them and how they were generally treated in their relationship.

Iloveautumnleaves · 09/12/2018 18:27

Deal breaker for me.

It’s not because I’d actually care about his friends seeing me in that state, but simply because he was using me to get likes or kudos from his mates. It’s incredibly immature for a 36 yo. I want to be with someone who cares about me and ‘us’, not amusing his mates at my expense.

It’s kind of hard to explain, because that makes me sound miserable and I’m really not. There have been some very unflattering photos posted with the piss being taken out of me, but they were funny.

This is different...very different.

Iloveautumnleaves · 09/12/2018 18:28

Puzzled why the actual fuck did he do that?

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2018 18:29

It is generally used by them, masterand Smile.

1forAll74 · 09/12/2018 18:29

He has no manners, a bad sense of humour, and is very infantile.I thought he was going to be about 17, not 36. But if he is the partner that you wish to stay with, you had better laugh about it now, as there will possibly be more of the same to come later.

Safeandwarm · 09/12/2018 18:31

I know some women in their 40s and 50s who use Snapchat.

Op it seriously seems like he has very little respect for you. I would dump him, provided there are no kids. But then again I can’t stand these ‘lads bants’ types of men, the laughs always come at the expense of the women in their lives ime. If he’s still like this at 36, I doubt he’ll grow out of it.

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