Christmas cards in school

[BertramKibbler]

My child is in reception. They have some social problems, possibly ASD, no diagnosis yet.

Every day last week the other children have been coming out with handfuls of Christmas cards. My child has had just 2.

My child is quite bright, they see what’s going on and it makes them sad. They want friends but are struggling making them.

AIBU to think that if you want your child to send cards to their class then you make sure they include all the children and not leave just a couple out?

I’m really upset by the implication that my child must be naughty or a bully because they have special needs.

He is in no way naughty, he’s just quiet and shy and has difficulties with small motor skills.

He doesn’t even get any special attention yet as the school like to observe as far as possible until year one.

I’m going to hide this thread now as some of the comments are really hurtful

As a teacher of little ones for many years, I've always kept a packet with lists of first names of the class by the door to give to the parents! They ask for them for birthday invitations, Christmas cards etc. Lots of schools do this! Don't be afraid to ask. Especially in the "little classes".

HegaxonalBattenberg that’s a great idea!

I get a list of their class names and make sure they write one to everyone. It’s mean to exclude certain people at that age.

I think this is sad. I'd ask my child who they want to send cards to but direct them eg.

KibblerJr would love a card. It would make them happy, wouldn't it.

For parties, I listen to my children. I wouldn't make them invite a child they don't want to but again, I'd make sure it wasn't one child in a 'group' left out. Basic compassion.

It's easier for me as I work at my children's school. Some may be unaware.

@bertramkibbler please don't be upset. Some people don't unserstand. My little boy is in reception and suspected ASD. Hes lovely not naughty or abully but he too doesn't get cards or invites.
This year we sent a card to everyone with no name on the front and becaue ds is also struggles to even hold a pen i found some stickers that you can personlize they had merry christmas at top picture of santa then from ds xxx at the bottom for him to stick in side each card. Made it possible for him to be involved with the cards he sent.
Unfortunately ds has now announced he doesn't like christmas am sure its becaue its that time of year he feels left out the most.

@BertramKibbler

Sorry to hear your little lad is going through this and is (very understandably) sad.. it’s awful when you can’t fix the source of their sadness.

If it would help (even a tiny bit) we would love to send him a card (if he would like)! We could mail it to his school

We’re not in the U.K. so the envelope would be covered in exotic stamps. maybe his teacher could show everyone on a globe where it came from and then your son gets to open it and keep it.

Oops not sure you’ll see this but if you do

I really don't think on the whole that people are intentionally leaving children out, very few parents would be sat at home refusing to allow a card to be sent for Billy.

As already mentioned most parents are having to rely on their children who generally have poor recall abilities and if another child is quieter or perhaps more on the fringes then they will maybe not spring to mind as much. If class lists are not available and parents not doing drop offs it is more likely that it will be done purely by a small child's memory.

I can't and don't get upset by this, be it a lack of Christmas cards or party invites, I can't change it. He has a very small group of good friends but generally he is on the outer edges and was very much so when he was lower down the primary school.

I don't personally understand the mentality of all children must send to all classmates. There maybe some childten they don't know well, if at all. What is wrong with just sending to who their friends are? Not everyone can be friends with everyone. Juat not how life works even in Reception!

I'm never 'unnecessarily cruel' to children thanks, although it seems there are plenty of parents on here who are happy to be. I've no TA and have had to spend my own precious time sneaking invites and cards into book bags because parents are basically leaving the dirty work of giving them out to me. A card for everyone, minus 'the bully', They're four and five years old, for heaven's sake.