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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to quit my job after house completion?

107 replies

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 19:49

My job is giving me major stress and anxiety. It's never been the job for me, but I've stuck it out. However, they are not getting me to do things I find very hard to do due to my mental health.

I know it's supposedly easier to get another job while you have a job, but in this case it isn't. I am not allowed any time off during the week 9 - 6, and if I want holiday then six weeks notice is required. Seeing as most companies conduct interviews during the working week, it's impossible to go to interviews too.

I want to quit but I can't as we are in the process of buying a house. If I quit, we will lose all the money we've paid for solicitors, surveyors etc, as the mortgage would be withdrawn.

Would it be stupid of me to quit after we've bought the house? My partner probably won't like it, but I am putting £10K more than him into the deposit and I will have around £10K after too.

Advice would be appreciated, as would tips on how I could possibly go to interviews without feeling guilty or getting caught.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 07/12/2018 20:02

Ifor your partner won't like it then I think you would be unreasonable so you need to discuss it before completing the house purchase.

Bluntness100 · 07/12/2018 20:04

Just call in sick when you go for interviews, you don't need to book time off,

How long will your savings last? What happens if you can't get another job in the required time frame? Is your partner willing to support you financially?

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:07

@Bluntness100 I don't get sick pay, but that's not the biggest problem . I have to have a meeting once I return to work about why I was off sick, and I am a really bad liar. If someone saw me out and about at an interview I would be in huge trouble.

I think my savings could last a year, after bills and accomodation I spend very little on myself. I'm nt sure if he would be willing to support me, but I'd argue I've put £10K more than him into the deposit....

OP posts:

thomasthecheekyone · 07/12/2018 20:09

Say you've got a hospital appointment for interviews?

Holidayshopping · 07/12/2018 20:11

If I was about to buy a house with someone who was planning to quit their job the minute we completed, I would much rather have that knowledge now so I could make an informed decision before making a massive life change.

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:13

They will ask for evidence @thomasthecheekyone

OP posts:

StartingGrid · 07/12/2018 20:14

I have often considered doing pretty much the same myself! Practical questions - how long is your mortgage fix for, and hows the likelihood of finding another similarly paid job within say 6 months (so you still have some savings left)?

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:15

@Holidayshopping he knows my feelings, but I don't want him to support me, as I would use savings. I am also putting £10K more into the house, I could keep this rather than put into the deposit but he wouldn't like this either.

OP posts:

arsearsearse · 07/12/2018 20:15

Not unreasonable to quit your job, but yes unreasonable to do it without talking to your partner.

What’s your notice period?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 07/12/2018 20:16

TBH I don't think you should be tying yourself to a partner who's so unsupportive. Are you protecting/ring fencing your house deposit?

arsearsearse · 07/12/2018 20:16

ALso, your employer sounds horrendous. Can you ask for an OH referral?

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:16

@StartingGrid fixed term fr five years.

I think I could find a job within 2 months, as I don't expect or demand a high salary (circa £21K)

OP posts:

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:18

@arsearsearse notice period is 2 months

OP posts:

BanginChoons · 07/12/2018 20:21

Not sure about the job but why are you buying a house with a person who it seems Isn't supportive of you? What if you were long term disabled, or got made redundant? Would he have your back then?

SushiMonster · 07/12/2018 20:23

Pull a sickie for interviews or ask for 8am or 6pm interview slots and say you will be late / leave early for doctors appointment.

Doje · 07/12/2018 20:23

Can you do interviews at 8am? I did this when I was in a similar situation (also a terrible liar). If it overruns, say you got stuck in traffic or had a family emergency just as you were leaving the house.

mindutopia · 07/12/2018 20:23

If your relationship is serious enough to be buying a house together, it’s serious enough to have these kinds of grown up conversations.

My dh quit his job to start business when we had a 3 month old and our only other source of income was my maternity pay. It was a huge decision and he was truly miserable in his job, but it had to be a joint one (and it turned out to be a very good one). But I wouldn’t be buying a house with someone I couldn’t trust to help me make a decision like this. If it’s absolutely financially impossible, that’s one thing. But if you can do it, he should be willing to step up and take on more of the burden in the short term if that’s what needs doing.

Mummadeeze · 07/12/2018 20:27

Life is too short to work somewhere so unreasonable that is making you so unhappy. If you can cope financially for a few months I would quit and actively look for a new job straight away. If you are really productive you should be able to spend all your free time applying for jobs, preparing for interviews etc and it will make the process easier. Just reassure your partner that you won’t be out of work for long and be prepared to accept something that may not be ideal but at least will be more bearable until the perfect job comes along. I have only walked out of a job once without a job to go o but it was the right thing to do as I was being bullied by the boss and it was damaging my self esteem.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 07/12/2018 20:33

Can you arrange interviews before or after work?

If not, you said you think you will get a job in a few months and you have savings to last a year, I think it's reasonable to hand your notice in. After all the situation with being unable to interview in current job isn't going to change - so you will have to do this job forever unless you take this risk.

Before you resign review the job market and check companies are hiring. Be aware brexit may be coming up, I'm not sure how much that will affect your industry.

Pibplob · 07/12/2018 20:34

Carry on working until you’ve moved in and then hand in your notice. Use your two months notice period to have interviews and tell them your havinginterviews.

Original poster

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:38

@HopelesslydevotedtoGu I've never come across a company that would allow me to have an interview out of work time, whenever I've asked they've said it has to be during their work hours.

OP posts:

recovery18 · 07/12/2018 20:38

If you aren't married then you shouldn't be putting £10k more into the house without having something drawn up by solicitors anyway.....

Treacletoots · 07/12/2018 20:39

Life is TOO short.

1 quit your job and find another. I've just done this and had no shortage of interest and I'm asking for a great deal more than you. You'll be absolutely fine.

2 really have a think about a partner who wouldn't support you. I know my DH would support me in whatever I do, even if it puts pressure on him. The fact is I don't want to do that, but know I could. A partner is just that. Someone who will support you even if it's not easy for them

Lynne45 · 07/12/2018 20:41

If you have savings that'll last until you find another job then I would.
I had a job where I couldn’t do interviews in working hours so luckily a manager of another company offered to meet in a coffee shop one evening. Fingers crossed it works out for you.

WinterfellWench · 07/12/2018 20:45

I can just imagine the uproar and furore on here if a woman came on here and said her partner has just given up his job, a few weeks after we completed on our house, because he is stressed and hates his job. They'd be saying 'leave the bastard! The lazy, entitled, flaky so-and-so.' But when it's a woman saying it, people are like 'awww life's too short,' and 'just hand in your notice when you move in' and other gems!

@icelolly90

What if your partner ALSO decided to just jack in his job a few weeks after you completed on your house sale?!

How would you both pay the mortgage and bills? With fresh air and fairy dust?

LOADS of people hate their job, and EVERYONE gets stressed at sometime. Of course YABU. Get a grip and grow up. Of course you can't just jack in your job when you're about to complete on a house sale. How would you like it if your partner did that to you?!

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