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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to quit my job after house completion?

107 replies

icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 19:49

My job is giving me major stress and anxiety. It's never been the job for me, but I've stuck it out. However, they are not getting me to do things I find very hard to do due to my mental health.

I know it's supposedly easier to get another job while you have a job, but in this case it isn't. I am not allowed any time off during the week 9 - 6, and if I want holiday then six weeks notice is required. Seeing as most companies conduct interviews during the working week, it's impossible to go to interviews too.

I want to quit but I can't as we are in the process of buying a house. If I quit, we will lose all the money we've paid for solicitors, surveyors etc, as the mortgage would be withdrawn.

Would it be stupid of me to quit after we've bought the house? My partner probably won't like it, but I am putting £10K more than him into the deposit and I will have around £10K after too.

Advice would be appreciated, as would tips on how I could possibly go to interviews without feeling guilty or getting caught.

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 07/12/2018 20:45

TBH i can see both sides. I’d have felt very nervous if my dp was planning to quit after we’d just completed, even with savings. You just don’t know what you’ll find in the house that needs doing, and you don’t know how long it could take you to find a new job. You’d be surprised, I was rejected for 15k basic data inputter roles.

But I also know how shit a shit job can be.

How have you suggested it to your dp? A timeframe or quitting almost immediately? What if you gave yourself a timeframe? Wait a couple of months, and book a load of annual leave now for 6 weeks time. Atleast it gives you plenty of time to discover any urgent repairs/improvements etc.

Or just try phoning in sick once for an interview. Losing a days pay is no worse than not getting any pay. Anyone sees you out just say you were on your way to the pharmacy or GP and keep your reasons for being off short and simple (period pains)

The other issue is your notice period being 2 months - will your work be bitter when you hand it in? Dealing with more animosity at work, stress of moving/new house issues and not having a job to go to at the end of it might prove too much.

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:47

@WinterfellWench I have £20k more than him in savings.

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 07/12/2018 20:48

I also agree somewhat with WinterfellWench. If it had been the dp wanting to quit, he would be a cocklodger in waiting regardless of savings

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:51

@boringlyboring yes maybe.

I should add though, I was made redundant and he didn't want me to take time out to find a job suitable for me. It was the stress from him that made me take the first job I was offered.

OP posts:
DexyMidnight · 07/12/2018 20:51

Jeeeesh the fact that her DP isn't delighted by this doesn't make him 'unsupportive'.

OP I'm married and my husband would be furious with me for handing in my notice unless it was a joint decision and vice versa. We have significant mortgages together. I sympathise with your mental health but it doesn't trump you and your partner's financial security. Get help, destress, prioritise, work a way through this together and find a solution.

If you hand in your notice without a job you're just piling the stress on your partner. Redundancy is one thing but voluntary unemployment / uncertainty is another.

Deep. Breaths. You will. Be ok.

user1484424013 · 07/12/2018 20:54

Sorry but is there any thing he does like. Your mental health is more important and if he dosnt see that pull the fuck out now or what happens when an even bigger issue happens.

BishBoshBashBop · 07/12/2018 20:54

If you hand in your notice without a job you're just piling the stress on your partner. Redundancy is one thing but voluntary unemployment / uncertainty is another.

Completely agree

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:54

@DexyMidnight I've said I want a new job before quitting, but it's impossible to find one while employed for the reasons I've listed around getting time off. It's impossible to get another job without taking a huge risk and potentially getting fired (if they find out I wasn't sick, I was at a job interview).

I was made redundant, and that's why I'm in this situation.

OP posts:
skybluee · 07/12/2018 20:54

"I should add though, I was made redundant and he didn't want me to take time out to find a job suitable for me. It was the stress from him that made me take the first job I was offered."

this worries me
why are you buying a house with this person?
if someone doesn't prioritise your wellbeing, i think that's concerning. it also wasn't his decision to make.

DexyMidnight · 07/12/2018 20:55

@icelolly90 that's sad. But. When you sign up for a mortgage thn you don't always have the luxury of finding a role you love.

Get a job that pays the bills and allows you to interview.

Hang in there

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 20:55

@BishBoshBashBop I was made redundant before this job, that's why I had to take it.

OP posts:
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 07/12/2018 20:56

They’re not allowed to ask for proof of hospital appointmrnt😱that’s sppalling.

It’s confidential

BishBoshBashBop · 07/12/2018 20:56

Sorry but is there any thing he does like. Your mental health is more important and if he dosnt see that pull the fuck out now or what happens when an even bigger issue happens.

He has every right to not be happy that as soon as they buy a house OP quits a job and is the only one bringing in a wage.

If the roles were recered posters would be all over the thread shouting LTB and cocklodger.

SillySallySingsSongs · 07/12/2018 20:57

They’re not allowed to ask for proof of hospital appointmrnt😱that’s sppalling.

Yes they can.

bringbackthestripes · 07/12/2018 21:00

I have to have a meeting once I return to work about why I was off sick, and I am a really bad liar. If someone saw me out and about at an interview I would be in huge trouble
Phone in with vomiting and diarrhoea and if someone happens to see you explain it away with “the Imodium kicked in and I was dashing to get more supplies before the effects ran out” & being as you need to be off 24 hrs (? ) After last bout of V/D that gives you 2 days off so arrange interviews for two days.

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 21:02

@BishBoshBashBop I took a very different job straight away after redundancy as he was really cross about me losing my job and not being able to apply for a mortgage.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 07/12/2018 21:03

Apply for jobs. If you get an interview after you’ve completed on your house, accept it and tell work that you are taking xx time off for an interview. If they don’t like it, let them discipline you. You’re on the verge of leaving anyway and their policy is manifestly unfair as it stops you looking for another job.

BumbleBeee69 · 07/12/2018 21:04

Screw them WTF are you a Prisoner ?

Quit the job on completion of the House, and spend your time looking for a job that doesn't require you sign your soul away. Grin

plaidlife · 07/12/2018 21:09

My DP put more into the deposit so the agreement, tenants in common I think it was, reflected that Incase we broke up.
We then got married but his money was protected which was right.

fiorentina · 07/12/2018 21:09

I feel it’s unfair to put pressure on your partner by quitting your job when you’ve just taken on a mortgage. My DP was made redundant the week after we completed and then I was also shortly after, unexpectedly. By all means try and get a new job ASAP but I think even with your savings that is leaving you in a vulnerable position.

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 21:11

I think everyone is a bit confused, I don't WANT to be unemployed. I just need to work somewhere else (is that a crime?) and getting a new job is impossible considering my current employer's rules. My choices are either quit, or stay there forever as there seems to be no way I can go to interviews.

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 07/12/2018 21:12

Well, why can’t you book a week or two off in 6 weeks time so you’ve atleast got some guaranteed time off for interviews?

Original poster
icelolly90 · 07/12/2018 21:14

@boringlyboring the problem is I get 4 weeks holiday a year January - December. If I book a week in jan and it comes to nothing I'll have used a big chunk of holiday for the rest of the year

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 07/12/2018 21:14

Or can you request unpaid leave for emergencies, having to go to the solicitor ec?

Lazypuppy · 07/12/2018 21:19

@icelolly90 you're not answering peoples questions about whether you wre protecting your £10k extra depsoit you are contributing. If you don't and you split up he is entitled to half.

And yes you would be unreasable to quite without discussing with your partner and coming up with a plan. This is a big decision, and you should be diwcussing with him or it could cause resentment