to quit my job after house completion?

[icelolly90]

My job is giving me major stress and anxiety. It's never been the job for me, but I've stuck it out. However, they are not getting me to do things I find very hard to do due to my mental health.

I know it's supposedly easier to get another job while you have a job, but in this case it isn't. I am not allowed any time off during the week 9 - 6, and if I want holiday then six weeks notice is required. Seeing as most companies conduct interviews during the working week, it's impossible to go to interviews too.

I want to quit but I can't as we are in the process of buying a house. If I quit, we will lose all the money we've paid for solicitors, surveyors etc, as the mortgage would be withdrawn.

Would it be stupid of me to quit after we've bought the house? My partner probably won't like it, but I am putting £10K more than him into the deposit and I will have around £10K after too.

Advice would be appreciated, as would tips on how I could possibly go to interviews without feeling guilty or getting caught.

Are you listening to the comments about your bullying sounding partner ?

@icelolly90

You absolutely cannot use the argument that you've put 10k more into the deposit than him. What you'd basically be saying is "I will throw this in your face every time we talk about finances so I can get my own way".

You've agreed to fund the deposit this way; that's the end of it. You are a team. You do not throw it in his face.

Instead, you simply say that you will be using your savings to fund you whilst you look for a job but you also need a plan for what happens if you don't find a job.

Off topic Op, but I hope you've ringfenced & protected the extra £10k you have put into the deposit so that if you split you get it all back.
I think you have to try and find a job first, so book that holiday, get your CV up to date and get organising as many interviews as you can. If nothing comes of that, re-asses. As you say you have savings to cover your half of your expenses if that is the only way to look for another job. Is temping a realistic proposition in your line of work?

If you hand in your notice without a job you're just piling the stress on your partner. Redundancy is one thing but voluntary unemployment / uncertainty is another.

He has every right to not be happy that as soon as they buy a house OP quits a job and is the only one bringing in a wage. If the roles were reversed posters would be all over the thread shouting LTB and cocklodger.

I also agree somewhat with WinterfellWench. If it had been the dp wanting to quit, he would be a cocklodger in waiting regardless of savings.

These. ^

And OP. You say you have £20K - but that is nothing.

I am sorry you hate your job and you're stressed, but you need to get another job first. If I was an employer, I would never give a job to a person who had just jacked in their last job with nothing to go to, after taking on a new mortgage/new house. It makes you look unreliable, irresponsible, and flaky tbh.

@Lazypuppy the contracts haven't been drawn up yet, to be honest I hadn't thought about the worst case scenario but I will now.

@YearOfYouRemember yes I am but half the comments say I am BU so some think I'm in the wrong here

When you're planning to buy a house, it's quite reasonable to say "you've had a job offer so you should take it and we can get our mortgage. Don't waste months job hunting when you might not get another offer".

That's not bullying. He was worrying about your future because another job would not be guaranteed.

I know @WinterfellWench but the main problem is it's impossible to find another job while being empolyed where I am now as I'm not allowed time off. Eight people have left since I started and none had a job to go to, they left so they had the freedom to find another job.

Op what are your partners good points? You were made redundant but you obviously weren’t destitute given your savings so why did you let him pressure you into taking any job?

Tbh I’ve done this, though I actually went off sick from a job I hated and used the time to job hunt. The breaking point for me was when it was 9.30 on a Monday and I was sitting at my desk breaking my heart unable to function. No job was worth that heartache.

Please though, take a long, hard look at your relationship before committing to a house purchase and make sure your deposit is protected.

@Avrannakern yes but it didn't go down like that. As soon as I was told I was being made redundant I had to deal with arguments. I would have had to move back in with my parents if I didn't take it.

I am pretty sure I could pull a sickness and diarrhoea sicky and lie at a meeting afterwards. And I have never ever pulled a sicky in 33 years.

But needs must, and I highly doubt any employer however awful will want the nitty gritty. If they do, you couldn't leave the bathroom, you soiled yourself, you took Imodium for 24 hours and then took another day off afterwards so you didn't pass it

Op, these are all excuses and totally contradictory.

I will quit and live off my savings. But
I can't take a day off sick for an interview becayse I won't get paid.

I will quit and live off my savings but
But I can't take a day off sick for an interview in case someone sees me and I get fired,

The odds of someone seeing you is low to minimal. And you're allowed to leave rhe house when off sick.

Really either be honest with yourself and say you want to quit and not go straight into another role, or go for interviews.

@EdisonLightBulb I'd be worried about being seen, or it getting back that I'd lied. If I got another job, my boss qould quickly realise when I went to that interview and would say I'd lied about sickness on my reference.

@Bluntness100 not contradictory.

I won't get paid, but despite not being paid my boss still wants a full explanation, meeting, and sometimes evidence.

If I get fired I'll get a bad reference and have no hope in getting another job.

I really don't like the sound of your partner. Please protect your financial interests.

If you have 10k in savings and you think you will be able to get a new job relatively quickly then quitting sounds like a good plan.

What evidence of sickness and the runs does your boss want and the odds of you being fired are low to miminal.

Op we are strangers you don't need to convince us. But I'm starting to sense maybe you don't want to work or find a new job and that's why your partner took the position he did, he knows it.

@Bluntness100 not true, I am a hardworker and reliable, I enjoy working and used to in the past. In fact, I'd feel depressed if I was unemployed and doing nothing.

The only reason I want to quit is so I have the time to find a job.

There are options OP, but I think you’re rejecting them because it’s ‘easier’ to quit. 10k is a good amount of savings, but honestly it didn’t last us very long when we bought a house we thought was liveable, until we started living there.

Using a chunk of holiday is surely better than not having a job to go to at all.

A back to work interview is normal, it consists of basic questions like ‘why were you off sick’, ‘what will you do to reduce the risk of sickness in the future’. You don’t need to be a great liar to give one or two word answers to this.

Unless you’re interviewing in the next building, the likelihood of someone seeing you is low.

The reality is many people are in restrictive jobs, I’ve been in them myself. It’s not quit or stay forever. There are other options available.

If you feel you have issues with your partner in other areas, then the job is the least of your worries (but you’re in even more need to keep hold of it). However, and apologies I don’t know how to put this without being blunt, but if your ‘no’ to every possible solution is a common occurrence, I’m not surprised that your dp would get annoyed.

There are some really harsh responses on here OP.

I would quit and put your efforts into finding another job. If you have good skills and experience you'll get something. If you have savings and you're careful with your spending it's not an unreasonable choice to make.

It's concerning that your OH was pissed off at you for being made redundant though. Considering you're giving a significant amount more than him for the deposit, it sounds like he's a bit entitled.

@boringlyboring what are the options available? Because I feel there are none

You have accepted to become the slave of your employer and that's mad. If you have to do a back to work interview, then do it. It's a few words.

Stop making excuses, find another job and find a supportive partner. This one is either not supportive or he's given everything he had and has run out of energy

I'm not sure I like the sound of your partner either. Maybe you should have a long hard think about whether you are doing the right thing buying with this man. Presumably if you were on your own, you could make up your own mind about whether you give up this job in order to look for another one. Also, 4 weeks holiday is rubbish. Don't sign any contracts until you have protected your £10k Op. Maybe don't sign anything?

1. Is your job 'just a job'? (i.e. you're doing it for money, rather than climbing a specific ladder in a specific industry that interests you)
2. Do you live in an area with a good labour market?

If the answer to both these is 'yes' then I'd quit asap. Your employer sounds horrible, and 21k is not worth the kind of misery you are describing - even an unskilled minimum wage job, topped up with your 20k savings would give you the equivalent salary for four years. But if you live in an area with lots of jobs around, then likelihood is you'll find a job that pays equally or more, or worst case scenario you get a lower paid one for a month or two and dip into your savings slightly while looking for a better one.

You have savings so you can take the hit of unpaid sick leave.

Look for a job and call in sick. It doesn’t matter if you lie badly. Just suck it up.

However, I’m more concertyour partner sounds like a shit.

You sure you want to buy a place with him?

Would your boss want evidence if you said you had s funeral to go too?