"what’s changed in 20 years with behaviour?...It was lines/detentions/suspended/excluded" because those punishments largely no longer exist except for worst offenders. I'm not a teacher but have family and friends who are and have been in some cases over 30 years. Their hands are completely tied. Even issuing extra homework requires ridiculous justification. Detentions aren't that day or even after school.
I started high school I think the year after corporal punishment was made illegal. I'm not saying that we should have that back but teachers HAVE to be trusted to teach AND to discipline. It is not going to kill a child to give them extra homework, lines, detention (that day after school - if it inconveniences parents well raise your kids they don't misbehave then!), even litter collecting or helping at lunch in canteen. It's gone WAY too far the other way and it doesn't serve the children either. In the real world shitty behaviour has consequences - I even see it on here occasionally mners posting complaining about being disciplined/sacked when THEY have behaved appallingly.
"most of all no punishment at home if they do misbehave at school." So true!
"Divorce. Sorry. No one likes to say it but it traumatises young minds at a subconscious level even if they seem fine." Totally agree and I'm a divorcee. Not what I planned for my child at all and I've tried to mitigate the harm as much as possible. I'll also be flamed but - people rushing into parenthood too. I don't even mean young parents necessarily but see on these boards repeatedly women who meet, move in with someone and get pregnant very quickly before the honeymoon phase is even past - and then wonder why it goes tits up! Now in my case it didn't work (together a few years before marrying, married, dd 5 years into marriage) but generally speaking people who wait and see if they're really compatible before having children are more likely to stay together and co-parent well.
"Parents who are friends vs parents who are kind and firm but definitely the parents." Yes. For where I live I'm an older mum. I was also stricter which at the time dd hated and I occasionally got "why can't you be more like x's mum? She lets her do [insert thing like hell was dd doing!] X says they're more like friends than mum & dd" to which I said "you've loads of friends you only have one mum. I'm here to be your mum not your mate!" She's now almost 18 and says she's glad now I was like that. The x's are now finding it very hard to navigate life outside school and their parents suddenly clamping down on them.
"Silence and routine help a lot of children." Totally agree. I've been looking after other people's children since I was 14. I've found most children prefer quiet calm environments for the most part. Yes they need to cut loose at points too but most of the time high sensory input just makes them anxious.
"The amount of sugar in our food and drink. Its not unusual for young people to come to school drinking energy drinks" not sure I agree with this I'm a 70's born and my generation ate a LOT of sugar and didn't behave like this. Also "sugar high" has been disproved BUT I do think we will learn possibly in the near future the real harm of certain additives - ones in energy drinks are already known and in other countries they're either completely banned or adult only. It's not just the effect on brains, they're known to be dangerous for the heart and stomachs too.
Wishiwasanastronaut - I think the opposite is true - modernisation for the sake of change and no other reason. Teachers have to teach to the exam now whereas in the past it was to instil a love of learning and encourage critical thinking. Call me paranoid but I certainly think the current govt doesn't WANT kids being taught how to learn, how to question, not to accept "facts" without questioning the source or the agenda of that source. Instead overloading teachers and pupils with so much to be learnt by rote without a real knowledge of the subjects that they are then less capable of questioning their agendas.
Imip - I think there's too much emphasis on academic achievement. And I say that as an academic person who that type of education suits. We have massively devalued practical achievement/skills. I have relatives & friends (well more friends kids) who are not academic but are incredibly talented in other areas and who struggle to find the training/job opportunities to use those skills. The jobs require qualifications in the skills, I've heard it's not the employers demanding this but their insurers! People with not a clue how these jobs are done! There aren't enough apprenticeships either. When I was at school practical subjects had benefits for both types of students - it gave the students who were good at practical things a subject possibly more than one that they excelled in and could take pride in - and it humbled the academic ones! Does them no harm to learn they can't be good at everything and that others have talents they can admire without having themselves. It's also a break from the academic subjects. I was rubbish at pe, needlework, art, tech drawing - but it was good for me to give my left brain a break and develop my right brain more and also get me exercising and burning up nervous energy. Even though I was crap at them I loved all but pe, I loved not worrying about doing well cos I knew I wouldn't anyway, but I was still rewarded for effort (I still tried to do a good job) and it was fun! And drama was a subject I was good at that wasn't about me being a brainiac and allowed me to make friends I otherwise wouldn't have, to express myself in a way I was otherwise too shy to. There were other pupils too who it was the only thing they were good at - every child deserves a subject they can excel at.
Aragog - Jesus that says it all when prison workers are safer than teachers!
It sounds to me as if streaming by ability has gone by the wayside too? When I was at school we were streamed this meant the most disruptive pupils were in the lower streamed classes. This did not include pupils with Sen who were in separate classes and weren't the most severely affected in this way. There were more schools for those with Sen then too and frankly (might get flamed for this) while inclusion might seem a nice idea it actually fails both the students with severe Sen and the students without because the powers that be haven't provided the right or enough support for this to be properly managed.
All of that said - my bright, high achieving, anxious, disabled child was massively let down by her school.