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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think some people see not going to the Christmas party as a badge of honored

110 replies

Quipsandquotes · 06/12/2018 19:33

Every year you see threads where people seem to be looking down their noses at the very idea of going to the office Christmas do. It's like they think saying "I'd rather gouge my eyes out' " I spend enough time with these people all week" "I'd rather be cuddled up at home with DH and DS" puts them in some kind of superior category to the 'saddos' looking forward to the Christmas party.

AIBU to think that this is a bit pathetic? No problem with anyone not wanting to go, I haven't gone to my own for the last few years. But not because it's beneath me, it just isn't that convenient for me to get into town at night anymore.

OP posts:

chillpizza · 06/12/2018 19:36

Yabu

Sound like genuine reasons to me. Not because they think it’s below them just they have other things they would rather do.

StealthPolarBear · 06/12/2018 19:38

Agree. I no longer really want to go as its tricky to arrange my time but when I can go on a work night out I really enjoy it

FickleFingers · 06/12/2018 19:40

YANBU Op, I have often thought the same when reading those threads.

6triesbuttingout · 06/12/2018 19:42

Our Xmas party always used to turn into a drunken disaster. Rows, bitching, coupling up, etc. I hated them. However if anyone sd shall we go out tomorrow night I’d be first in the q

BackforGood · 06/12/2018 19:43

YABU. They are answering the question and giving the reason why they don't want to go.
It's not superior nor looking down their now, it's a free choice.

44PumpLane · 06/12/2018 19:51

YABU- back in the day I used to LOVE a work night out or work Christmas night out. These days though I really would rather be curled up at home with my family as I really can't be chewed!!

I don't look down on anyone else who enjoys the nights out, but I do resent being MADE to go or being made to feel like a party pooper because I don't want to.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 06/12/2018 20:00

YANBU. I am sick of comments like 'i'd rather spend time with my real friends'

well it is their choice to work with a bunch of pple they obvs dont like and feel bitter about it

Fucking dicks

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 06/12/2018 20:02

I do resent being MADE to go

Just say no then!

You do realise it is 2018 and you cannot be ''made'' to do anything

It is this kind of dramatics that makes the partygoers think the non party goers are dicks

hamburgers · 06/12/2018 20:08

YABU. I used to organise the Christmas party for my company when I was working before DC. No one ever declined because they wanted to stay home with their kids (partners were welcome to the party) but I guess that's because our Christmas do's were all our massive affairs with black tie dress code, sit down meal, unlimited drinks and DJ... ah, those were the days!!

If it was a pay-for-yourself meal at the pub with your small team, then yeh that sounds a bit boring.

44PumpLane · 06/12/2018 20:20

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow

Just say no then!

You do realise it is 2018 and you cannot be ''made'' to do anything

It is this kind of dramatics that makes the partygoers think the non party goers are dicks

Actually you can be made to do things....I started a new job last week and the Christmas party starts at 12:30 on a working day in a local towns club- open bar, buffet and DJ.

Mandatory attendance- if you don't want to attend you have to take a half days holiday as they shut the office....I don't have half a day holiday as i only just started and have to save my holiday for the office Christmas shut down.

I was not told this during the interview process. I am therefore effectively being MADE to go.

I will not be able to leave until clicking off time at 5, thich means I'll get caught in all the traffic so it'll take me about an hour to get home- 3 times more than usual.

So far from being dramatic I am going and will simply leave when I am allowed to ...... But yes, I am being made to go, and no I don't want to go.

If you think I'm a dick for that then it says a hell of a lot more about you than me!

Polarbearflavour · 06/12/2018 20:26

Meh, does it really matter? Nobody is sitting at home worrying if so and so isn’t going to the office Christmas party. I don’t care about the people who do go! I don’t sit at home and sneer at then in my head.

Liverbird77 · 06/12/2018 20:27

I don't not go to feel superior. The truth is that I am quite introverted and I prefer being at home. Also, my colleagues at my current job are not friends. I have nothing against them but I don't want to socialise. My husband goes to his and that's absolutely fine.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 06/12/2018 20:28

I've been in places where people who don't go have to forfeit annual leave.

Where people who do go are given a £10 sub and those who don't go are given nothing.

There are ways of making you attend.

Personally I have stay home.

My arse hasn't had enough pins stck into it.....

A580Hojas · 06/12/2018 20:29

Perhaps some people really do despise their jobs and their colleagues and have no choice but to go in every day to put a roof over their family's heads?

It's perfectly fine not to welcome the idea of a works Christmas party or other enforced jollity. You are going MANY extra miles to think that to voice that opinion on Mumsnet is a "badge of honour".

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 06/12/2018 20:30

You are being PAID for attending a party - most places do not do this. Most places it is in your free time

Not really sure of why you are feeling put out, as you would be in the office, with the same people - whilst getting paid for it.

Do you think it would help with bonding with new colleagues, at all?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 06/12/2018 20:32

YABU. I rarely went to our Christmas do as I refuse to give up my evening to go. Sadly they've changed it to a lunch and I'd have to use holiday if I didn't want to go so it's the lesser of two evils. I just sit there waiting for the first person to make a move so I can go.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 06/12/2018 20:33

If I started a new job LAST WEEK I would make the fucking effort, rather than bleating that being PAID to attend a party, was such a big deal

cardibach · 06/12/2018 20:33

No one ever declined because they wanted to stay home with their kids (partners were welcome to the party) but I guess that's because our Christmas do's were all our massive affairs with black tie dress code, sit down meal, unlimited drinks and DJ
hamburgers this is exactly the kind of do I’d avoid. I hate massive affairs and hate black tie as it means I have to wear a dress. A meal in a restaurant where I could chat properly, I’d be right there!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 06/12/2018 20:36

That sounds like my idea of hell, there's no way on earth you'd get me to go to a black tie affair! I'll be wearing jeans to ours!

HashTagLil · 06/12/2018 20:37

If you feel that strongly, just take it as unpaid leave?

90mammasophie · 06/12/2018 20:37

I think it's fair enough to not want to go and agree with you I think it's silly when people make it seem beneath them / worst thing ever. .. I feel for the person who took the time to arrange it.

I worked somewhere a few years back and they had their Xmas do during a working afternoon. It wasn't much good for part timers who couldn't change their work days but for the rest of us it was brill! Nice afternoon and not eating into much of our personal time. The company was great they treated staff well, even though pay was low (family business) there was a good atmosphere and respect for everyone.

44PumpLane · 06/12/2018 20:48

HashTagLil
I don't actually feel that strongly, I will go and I'm sure I'll enjoy it but I was demonstrating that you can, in fact, be made to attend a do, which according to AiryFairyUnicornRainbow I couldn't be made to attend (no option to take unpaid leave and to be honest I'm not going to kick up a stink in any way as that would be daft)!

Also....."bleating" about being made to attend the party? Well aren't you a charmer.
I was simply replying to a thread with my own experience. I will clearly go, and participate and all will be fine. I don't need help to bond with my colleagues, I have zero issues in that area of my life, and for that I'm grateful. But honestly it would be some people's idea of hell and I don't think that means they look down on those who enjoy the Christmas bash.

pinkhorse · 06/12/2018 21:01

I am one of these people. I'm not going and I couldn't think of anything worse for all the reasons given in the op. I certainly don't look down on people that go though. Why would you think that?

greendale17 · 06/12/2018 21:04

I agree with you OP.

In real life, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t enjoy their work Christmas party.

user1484424013 · 06/12/2018 21:11

Ybvvvvvu

Try having your saggy boss rub your thigh during Christmas works too and then plead ignorance because he is drunk.

Then getting sacked a few weeks later because you dared to remove his skanky hand....

Would rather gouge my eyes out then have a Brazilian and fry my fanny in oil than ever be put in a works Christmas doo situation ever again. So politely fuck you with thinking like that.

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