To think some people see not going to the Christmas party as a badge of honored

[Quipsandquotes]

Every year you see threads where people seem to be looking down their noses at the very idea of going to the office Christmas do. It's like they think saying "I'd rather gouge my eyes out' " I spend enough time with these people all week" "I'd rather be cuddled up at home with DH and DS" puts them in some kind of superior category to the 'saddos' looking forward to the Christmas party.

AIBU to think that this is a bit pathetic? No problem with anyone not wanting to go, I haven't gone to my own for the last few years. But not because it's beneath me, it just isn't that convenient for me to get into town at night anymore.

Depends on the Christmas do. If you invited me to a function room with a crap buffet, expensive bar, poor disco and 200 of my "colleagues" then I'd decline, I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a pooey stick. But I had a very nice restaurant meal last week with a dozen of my immediate team colleagues.

@hamburgers See, at my age, I'm quite the opposite. I'd like to go for a pub meal where I can chat with colleagues, relax and have a nice meal, than go to a mass produced. over-priced meal for hundreds in a loud environment where you have to go and get all dressed up.

I'd have preferred the dancing years ago, but you change over time.

In real life, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t enjoy their work Christmas party.

Really ? Wherever I've worked, over several decades, in different places, there have always been people who haven't attended the Christmas do, for a variety of reasons - often cost. Paying out £££ to go to something you really aren't bothered about at what is always a busy time of year doesn't make sense when you are on a budget.

I get on with my colleagues really well in the office, will happily go for drinks with some of them. I am however extremely shy (do a good job at hiding it!) and I hate big group events so I have Christmas do’s. Of course I won’t give this reason for not wanting to go so you may think it’s beneath me to attend but the real reason is shyness.

I usually don’t go. I do not prioritise a £40/50 meal and drinks that close to Xmas when I need to pay bills and want to give things to my kids. I did go last year but did not drink (and drove) to save money and I was really bored because everyone else was drunk and dancing to the god awful music, the meal was over priced and not that great, and although I do like my colleagues I just wasn’t into it. I will go to the bring and share lunch

I have endured a few Xmas do’s and they are never things I would want to do, more things my mother would enjoy. Like watching a faux Tom Jones, an unfunny comedian or sharing a giant marquee with 500 other people I don’t know. If someone said ‘fancy going out for a few cocktails in X nice bar’ I would probably go

I genuinely like my work colleagues and am looking forward to our department’s Christmas lunch, but i won’t be going to the Christmas party as I’d rather not ‘waste’ a rare night out on people I see everyday - I’d rather see my friends. Although this is an age/life-stage thing and I don’t see it as a badge of honour by any means!

I would rather be at home with DP and DS. I don’t think that makes me superior, and if you get that vibe, I assume you must have a chip on your shoulder. I just don’t especially like organised fun as I’m an introvert. You go and have a lovely time - I’ll stay home and have my own version of a lovely time. What’s wrong with that?

Eh? I don't go because I don't want to go.

I don't want to do things I don't enjoy. What a mad concept.

At my office the Xmas party means putting on a sparkly dress, dancing to horrible music, drinking shit free table wine or vodka, and vomming in front of the department outside a kebab shop. I did that in my 20s and didn't enjoy it then.

As it happens our work do is tonight. I didn't go. I'm happily watching Short Circuit in my pyjamas with a glass of wine.

Yabu. I’m an introvert and when I was at work I’d happily sit there not having to engage in conversation because I had work to do. However, a Christmas party is 100% socialising for several hours and if you don’t do small talk or have anything in particular in common with those you work with, it can be a total p.i.t.a. Nobody is looking down their noses or wearing it as a badge of honour. I genuinely would rather stay at home. The few times I have been, I’ve driven and waited till everyone else started getting drunk so I could sneak out unnoticed.

Enforced jollity ain't much fun so I avoided any work Xmas do at all costs, apart from one, when control freak owner insisted we have a little gathering in our lunch hour. Our lunch, not hers. She forked out for four quarters of a sandwich per employee, cheese or egg. She shared a bottle of wine with the company secretary, we had squash (yup). I was so miffed I took a quarter of her smoked salmon sandwich. My fate was sealed, what with eating above my station and all. Still makes me laugh. Merry times.

YABU. People I work with are my colleagues. Not my friends. I attend tk show my face for the minimum amount of time acceptable and leave. If I wanted to be out on the town (and by thw qay yes I am one of those who would rather cuddle up on the sofa) it would be with my friends anyway

You sound like the reason I avoid mine. Everyone gets pissed and screeches and stands in little cliques. I have no interest in 98% of the people I work with so why the hell would I spend my free time with them when I already spend 35 hours a week with them? They are nice enough but not people i’d Actively want to be friends with.

I go to work.

Its work ... separate to my "real" life where i choose the people i want to be with.

I just cant be arsed with Christmas do's. Time is precious.

Exactly @Fluffyears .

I’m not going on mine. Love going out for a few with my immediate team. Hate sitting/ eating and making shit small talk with management or people I can’t stand.

YABU - I don’t go because I don’t want to go, I couldn’t give a shiny shit if people think that makes me think I’m superior to them 😂

I know for certain that I have no desire to join our department xmas curry night next year. I have been saying that for the last 3 years after each experience, and I only decided to join at the last minute this year. I wanted to go and have a nice meal with colleagues and friends. But the restaurant chosen every year is over-priced for the quality. And the smell does not go away from the clothes after a couple of hours in this one particular restaurant. The staff was very rude. They are trying to squeeze in a few hundred people every night in the holiday season, which is probably 50% more than a realistic capacity for the kitchen and staff to handle. There is literally no space to stand between tables and once you are sat down, you can only talk to the 2 people on either side. The only good thing is BYOD. Not my idea of a good time.

But last week, we went out for a team lunch at another curry place and had a lovely time. Good bottle of wine, few beers, nice food, pleasant conversation across 8 people around a table. I will definitely do that again.

So, its really that each situation is unique

I’m looking forward to my work bash tomorrow. It’s in the office, they just buy in some buffet food and heaps of wine, beer and soft drinks. Bit of music and boogying for those that want it later. It’s my day off but I’m popping in an hour or two early to help decorate (because my work pals are organising) - it’s always fun and most people come along - some of our older colleagues just have the meal and a bit of a chat then head off, the young ones will be there till silly o’clock and I’ll probably slope off sometime in between. No compulsion to come, company pays for it all, most of us really look forward to it.

I'm just back from my office lunch and fuck me it was grim. My colleagues are great, but as a vegetarian nondrinker spending £100 to eat a shit meal and watch them get ratarsed seems like a waste. (and the vegetarian option was so shit my colleagues felt sorry for me ffs -mashed potato, served with button mushrooms and carrots in gravy which looked and tasted like school dinners.....)

Perhaps some people really do despise their jobs and their colleagues and have no choice but to go in every day to put a roof over their family's heads?

^ this. It’s great in this day and age that SOME people have jobs they love with colleagues who are fantastic and they enjoy socialising with. Not everyone has that luxury. I don’t think it’s snobby to make a decision to not go to a party (which is often on your own time) because you don’t want to spend time with people you don’t like that much. I think people that love Christmas parties can’t understand that some people really do not enjoy these type of events.

YABU. I don’t go because they are career suicide and always full of bullshit and gossip. I don’t drink with people from work full stop.

I don't go because I don't socialise with work colleagues.
I never have and never will.
I've made some genuinely lovely friends from over the years at different jobs,and I see these people regularly but I still never went on the works do.

YANBU

Can't wait for our Xmas do, I'm gonna dance all night 🕺

YANBU, I always think those people must be awful to work with!

Love the way there are already plenty of posts on here demonstrating exactly what the OP is saying.

I used to work for a place that put on a lavish shindig every Xmas, with a beautiful meal, a free bar, generous Xmas presents for all, and great entertainment. Until there was a massive punch up one year and the next year it was cancelled. I went to that as it was free. Where I work now they had a buffet and drinks on the terrace of a local hotel, but we had to pay. I have no interest in socialising with my work mates, and I'm certainly not paying for the privilege, as it would also have required an expensive uber home. If you think that makes me a snob, I don't really give a hoot.