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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some people see not going to the Christmas party as a badge of honored

110 replies

Quipsandquotes · 06/12/2018 19:33

Every year you see threads where people seem to be looking down their noses at the very idea of going to the office Christmas do. It's like they think saying "I'd rather gouge my eyes out' " I spend enough time with these people all week" "I'd rather be cuddled up at home with DH and DS" puts them in some kind of superior category to the 'saddos' looking forward to the Christmas party.

AIBU to think that this is a bit pathetic? No problem with anyone not wanting to go, I haven't gone to my own for the last few years. But not because it's beneath me, it just isn't that convenient for me to get into town at night anymore.

OP posts:
onceandneveragain · 07/12/2018 14:32

I agree with you OP and think you were perfectly clear - no issue with people who just don't, for whatever reason, fancy christmas parties and who, if asked in rl, say, 'Nah, sorry, can't come.' (end of conversation)

What's annoying are the people who deliberately choose to click on a christmas related topic on a forum with thousands of other conversations to choose from and start the sneery 'Spend time with colleagues??? No I have much better things to do! Can't think of anything worse than listening to loud music! In a public place! With other individuals! Amidst the presence of alcohol and forced jollity! (shudders and visibly pisses on the chips of everyone who does enjoy parties and leaving no other possible interpretation than that you are somehow less refined/lack in social skills if you rely on companionship from your colleagues/are a bad parent for not spending this time with your family....)'

It's not just christmas parties though - I find the same people tend to look down on almost any form of socialising. It's lame to be friends with your colleagues (despite the fact you have at least a number of other people, likely similar qualifications, and ideally at least a vague interest in whatever your field is, in common). But people also roll their eyes at the idea of being friends with school mums (who, again, you have at least a fair amount in common - similar ages, children of similar ages, worries and achievements of said children). Some people don't even seem to like being friends with their actual friends, if the amount of sighing and eye rolling about being expected to attend a hen party or similar on MN threads is anything to go by.

I do wonder sometimes who these moaners actually find acceptable to be friends with?

And then these people blame it on not being extroverted - as an introvert myself I find it insulting. It's perfectly possible for an introvert to have fun, even in a busy party setting. There's a big difference between 'introvert' and 'moody git.'

Notevenmyrealname · 07/12/2018 14:33

“I'd rather gouge my eyes out' " I spend enough time with these people all week" "I'd rather be cuddled up at home with DH and DS"
These are the examples in the original post. Maybe the first one is a bit excessive (although tbf, I did feel that way about one place I worked as I didn’t really like the individuals in the clique that did all the organising) but the other two are both ones that I would use in a non-superior way. To be honest, even if the reason you’re not going is because you don’t like people, it’s not necessarily because you think you’re better, it’s just because you don’t like them. I’m sorry, OP that you think I’m rude but you yourself are making judgements about the type of excuses that you think are unacceptable and calling people pathetic for using them. You asked if you were being unreasonable for thinking that and I think you are. I make no further judgement on your character and I’m sure you’re a perfectly nice person irl, I just think on this occasion, I don’t agree.

Auntiepatricia · 07/12/2018 14:36

I think some people struggle with these things. And some people have dickheads for colleagues. I’ve never had either problem so love a good Christmas party where you can see your colleagues in a different and more relaxed setting.

Quipsandquotes · 07/12/2018 14:41

Fair enough noteven.

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 07/12/2018 15:59

My Christmas party is tonight and I can't bloody wait.

I rarely drink but tonight I'm "out out" - I've a ball skirt at the ready as it's oscars themed and we're knocking odd at 3pm to get ready.

This is an offshore firm though, and we all know each other in and out of work (what happens on a small island) - not to mention the fact that our parties are legendary.

A few years back when I didn't attend because I didn't like my boss at the time (and it was a pretty miserable place to work), I just politely declined as I wasnt feeling it. No need for eye gouging or declarations of superiority, I just didn't go.

I get where you're coming from Op, I've noticed it too.

E20mom · 07/12/2018 16:34

Those reasons aren't anything to do with the party bring beneath people though. Not sure how you extrapolated that.

GivingBloodFeelingGreat · 07/12/2018 16:39

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Scottishscummy · 07/12/2018 16:42

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DanglyBangly · 07/12/2018 16:57

I know exactly what you mean OP. It’s not the people who don’t go for whatever reason. It’s the sneering about the event from some (not all) of the people who don’t go, as if they’re above it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/12/2018 17:19

I got you, OP. There are examples on the thread, competitive-Christmas-Not-Doings, I call them. The brazillian wax and fried fanjo was an unnecessary example I see those posts too.

I think your post was too nuanced for those who are a bit strung out at this time of year and the hovering-over-the-horizon Christmas Do events that they 'have to' attend/make excuses not to attend.

Ours is on Monday lunchtime. I adore one of my colleagues and I'm leaving home on Sunday to pick her up and stay overnight in a hotel with. I'll be wearing a skirt of sequins - and a plain black jumper with it lest anybody thinks I'm having fun...

People are very defensive about so many things they needn't be defensive about at all.

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