To think when everyone says “It gets easier” it’s a big fat lie?

[VikkiStMichael1]

So when I first had my baby, it’s of course wonderful- but I think we’d all agree it’s hard work, not to mention the sleepless nights. My older female relatives often say “it gets easier”

Then you hit the toddler years imo definitely not easier!

Then you have all the hurdles with school stuff, homework, friendships, possible behavioural issues etc

Then it’s the teenage years which of course is a completely different kettle of fish!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children very much, but I’m still waiting for it to “get easier!”

For me parenting doesn’t get easier, it just presents a different set of challenges for different stages in your child’s development- or is that just my experience? Does anyone agree with me or does it indeed get easier for some? I.e when they leave home?😂

Nope, it doesn't get easier til they leave home. (THEN they keep asking for money til they're around 22/23!)

It does become different though, and you kinda get used to it. There are different phases throughout your childrens lives, some good, some great, some difficult. The worst part (IMO) was school. School politics, bullying, school-gate mafia, homework, exams. Hard for them AND you.

But what you get back from children is so rewarding and wonderful. YEP it's hard at times, and occasionally you want to cry with frustration and stress, but it's worth it. If I could go back 25 years, I would not change a thing; I would still have had mine. Now they are grown (in their 20's) it's wonderful - for me and DH. We are really good friends with our kids, (as well as being their parents,) and we have a lovely life with them. Would not change it for the world.

One pal of mine has 4 kids - 2 girls, 2 boys, and she had them all within 5 years. It was tough, and expensive, and she rarely has a minute to herself for a decade and a half. But now they are grown (18-23,) she has 4 wonderful adult children who are all good mates, and who she gets on with really well. She also has their partners in her family now too, and also had her first grandchild last month.

My youngest dad have sever behavioural issues and it just gets worse

I don't understand when other mums say they've got their life back once the baby years are done. Mine are 8&10 and still no sign of getting my life back. I don't understand what they mean. Until my DC no longer need a responsible adult with them at all times then I can't see how I can get my life back! My DC still need a babysitter if I want a night out...it doesn't matter if they are 6 months or 10 years old...I'm still stuck at home most evenings. They'd still need childcare if I go to work. I'm hoping things will be a bit free-er for me once they are teenagers.

formerbabe Maybe they mean it’s just alittle easier once the child is more self sufficient and can feed, dress themselves and take themselves to bed. I know now I spend a lot of times doing the latter and to have even a let up on those things would be amazing.

Cocobana

Yes the physical side gets easier. You don't need to spoon feed them, dress them etc. You can leave them in a room without worrying they're pulling plug sockets out or swallowing bits of Lego!

Oh, it does, it does!

Mind you my 4 are now aged 39, 37, 32 and 29! I still worry about them, but I adore them too. All the hard work was definitely worth it!

DD barely slept for two years. Anything seems manageable with sleep.

formerbabe oh how I can’t wait for those days, I long for an evening to myself lol as ds isn’t good at going to bed or staying there! I’m not even done having dc yet either so probably going to be a long time before it lets up. They are worth it though aren’t they!? I couldn’t be without ds even if it does get difficult sometimes.

The physical care diminishes as they get older, but the emotional care increases ten fold.

MrsTerryPratcett Exactly I just need a night’s sleep just one night where I don’t have to get up at an ungodly hour lol

I agree with you wholeheartedly OP .I found the baby stage the easiest and the teenage years the hardest.There was just so much worry the last few years caused by my sons girlfriend that has impacted the whole family. Nothing could have prepared me for it.

Mine are 9 and 11, they are SO much easier, they can get themselves up and dressed, get drinks or snacks if they need.
Sure it’ll get harder as we hit the teenage years though 😂

I found the first year really hard and quite a shock for lots of reasons. The rest has been a breeze by comparison. DD is 12, so we will see if it remains easy or not. But I think it will be ok, she's great.

I have a 3yo and a 6yo. The 6yo is MILES easier than the 3yo who still bolts, wakes at 6am or earlier, need a constant supervision etc.. And even now it's a lot easier than a couple of years ago - they're both toilet trained, can tell me if they're hungry, ill etc. I still have to navigate tricky things with the 6yo but that's more talking and psychology which is a challenge I enjoy much more than being sleep deprived, continually intervening to stop a child running/climbing into danger etc..

DS is only two but I found things got so much easier at 1. However DS was a very difficult baby who cried all the time for a year and woke every 45 minutes through the night. At 1 he transformed into an incredibly well behaved and utterly lovely toddler and I am loving this stage.

Of course things get easier. If they didn't then maternity leave would be twenty years.

The first 25 years are the toughest, OP...
It’s all worth it though. I have thousands of wonderful memories of every stage of their childhood, and they’re now lovable intelligent adults who are great to spend time and chat with.

Someone (an arsehole) told me when I first had DS13 that the first six months were the hardest. We breezed through and I felt a bit cocky and confident, thinking it was all going to be lovely. Then he became a toddler and everything went mad for a few years.

They're 13 and 7 now and I'd say these ages are my favourite; they have personality, independence and lots of gorgeous moments with very little stress. The under 5 stage was just a whirlwind of madness, questions and things being poked into holes like McDonalds chips in ears.

Sorry I did find it got easier. Much much easier.

I barely know my 10 year old is here most of the time.

Mrsterrypratchett I can totally relate to that.

Ds2 barely slept for two years, I almost feel I could take on the world with sleep.

i really struggled when DD was a baby but since she was about 3 she’s been an absolute joy and i find her really easy. She’s 8 now and we have our little disagreements bit mostly she’s no bother at all. I suspect she’s going to be a terrible teen though because she’s a sulker like her dad and a ‘know-all’ like me

I feel like no one said/says 'it gets easier' to me with my tiny baby - people say 'oh this bit is the easy bit you wait until they crawl/walk/talk'. Often these people then turn out to have had babies who slept through absurdly early, so I always think it's like a millionaire talking about how easy being unemployed is - of course it's easy if you take away the main difficulty!

Depends on the child I guess. DD was a pain in the ass baby/toddler... didn't sleep,didn't eat, didn't talk.
From about 4 it got immeasurably easier.
She's nearly 7 now and I'm enjoying this stage a lot. I'm lucky she's a really good kid and needs minimum parenting. She can still be a pain in the ass sometimes,but aren't we all?

My kids are now 9,8,5&3 and it is getting so much easier. The baby years were so exhausting and such a blur, and the bigger kids help me with the little one. I even started studying again! DH and I are starting to watch a film together, silly things like that which we haven't done for years.

Am making the most of it before the teenage years hit...

All stages have their challenges. The late teen years are hard, living with untidy adults is not fun. This is how it should be to make coping when they leave possible.