To think when everyone says “It gets easier” it’s a big fat lie?

[VikkiStMichael1]

So when I first had my baby, it’s of course wonderful- but I think we’d all agree it’s hard work, not to mention the sleepless nights. My older female relatives often say “it gets easier”

Then you hit the toddler years imo definitely not easier!

Then you have all the hurdles with school stuff, homework, friendships, possible behavioural issues etc

Then it’s the teenage years which of course is a completely different kettle of fish!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children very much, but I’m still waiting for it to “get easier!”

For me parenting doesn’t get easier, it just presents a different set of challenges for different stages in your child’s development- or is that just my experience? Does anyone agree with me or does it indeed get easier for some? I.e when they leave home?😂

[jessstan2]

Oh but it definitely does get easier - when they are grown up and leave home.

[EveryoneButSam]

My babies / toddlers didn’t sleep. EVERYTHING is easier when you have had a full night’s sleep. They are late primary / early secondary now and an absolute doddle, although this may change shortly for the older one!

[NotAColdWomanHenry]

Agree that teens are fun too - the older mine get, the more entertaining and funny I find them.

[ladylunchalot]

I think it has gotten easier in the sense that as time has gone by I feel much more confident as a parent and don't doubt myself as much. Different challenges as the years roll on and all stages have their challenges.

Ds is now 9 and has autism and epilepsy so challenges we face with him are different to what we faced at that age for dd who is now 12. Most of our challenges are education related due to a real lack of support for ds but that seems to be the norm unfortunately.

I do love the fact that as they get older just how wise they suddenly seem to be (in some aspects, defo not all!) and how the range of conversation topics increases. Still do miss them being wee snuggly babies but that's having rose tinted specs on.

[Elfinablender]

With all three of my DC I found the baby stage the hardest work. The lack of sleep and the crying of bent my brain. It's been easy street the moment I could cobble six hours sleep in a row.

[IdClimbHimLikeATree]

I think it never really gets easier! I'm asked by friends and colleagues with children younger than mine "please tell me it gets easier" and I honestly can't. Everything is a fucking guessing game, I'm winging everything and I won't know if I've got it right until they're adults. And even then, my parents tell me they still worry about me and my sibling.

Yes I don't have to load them into car seats or sleep manage or sort out their toilet stuff but I have to deal with friendship issues, anxieties over various different school things, teenage/pre-teenage moods, the eldest one still fussy eating, do I get an ASD diagnosis for DS, how to tell my DD that she's eating unhealthily at school but not give her hang ups about weight/food.... bloody hell I could be here hours. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

(I love them all to bits but honestly feel like I am not cut out for this sometimes.)

[Ski4130]

Physically I’ve found leaving the baby stage behind way easier. Ours are 8, 11 and 13 now, and are much more independent, fun and rewarding (for want of a better word!) then they were as babies and toddlers. I had 3 under 5 at one stage, and I was pretty knackered and pulled in a few different directions, which means I found the new baby, toddler and reception stage quite full on. I loved the bones of them, and still do, but did find it a fairly thankless whirlwind of nappies, playgroup and school drop offs, and fire fighting the different needs of each of them.

I love the ages they’re at now, even the teenager, who’s really good company despite the occasional lapse into grunts teen mode. They’re easier to manage and communicate with, there are no more tantrums or foot stamping, and they can be reasoned with so much better. The downside is that their upsets are harder for me to solve for them - a kids and a cuddle help, but I can’t solve every friendship issue/late homework/lack of party invite by distracting them anymore, and have to watch them negotiate things themselves. All in all it did get easier for us as they got older, and whilst I sometimes get wistful for baby snuggles, or being able to solve everything for them, it’s fleerying and I appreciate the ages they are now.

[Orchiddingme]

It definitely gets physically easier, no clinging, constant 'mumeeee'...

Emotionally, worse for me in the teen years, but I see if you have one easy-going teenager this might not be the case.

[Lweji]

Well, the complaints during the baby stage do get easier.

We just add new complaints.

At 13, DS sleeps all night, doesn't drool as much, takes care of his own hygiene, and even some food, but it's difficult to take anywhere away from home.

But, so far, yet, he's easier at 13 years than 13 months.

[HermaHelen]

I was terribly tired during the baby, and even toddler, days. In some ways it does get easier.

[nomorearsingmermaids]

Having a newborn was easy compared to the toddler years. I expect it probably depends what type of child you have. DS as a baby just slept all the time.

My mum's had four and she says the teenage years were/are the hardest.

[PhilomenaSnowflakeButterfly]

At the moment, it's definitely easier. I have 2 school age DC. I have 6.5 hours a day to myself. Also, DD's 11 and I barely see her. She has breakfast then disappears into our room for WiFi, then goes straight for WiFi when she comes home, only coming in for supper.

[Bungleinthejungle]

My honeymoon period was 6-12 when they could do a lot for themselves but didn't really need much emotional support or encouragement to work -for arsing exams every five minutes-. They were also quite chilled at that age and didn't argue with me about every sodding thing. I'm hoping the university years will be easier....

[Cornishclio]

I think it is comparable. I had a 17 month gap between my two so the early years were definitely the hardest when I had a newborn and a toddler plus a DH who was rarely home due to work. Having 2 close together though meant when the youngest was 2 and the older one 3 and a half they played together nicely. I also got the nappy/sleepless stage over quickly. It also depends on the child. My first was a dream baby who followed a set schedule, slept through at a reasonable age and was calm and easy even as a toddler. She was a nightmare as a teen. DD2 who was unsettled as a baby and prone to tantrums as a toddler was the easiest teenager.

You never stop worrying about them even as adults and when they leave home. Then you get to do it all, although not so intensely when you have grandchildren.

[Satsumaeater]

I think it has got easier. I didn't like the baby stage, definitely not the toddler stage, and as my son has got older I have enjoyed it more.

He's never been a particularly difficult child and if he was a really horrible teenager I might want the days of him being 4 back, but no I think it really does get easier.

[Racecardriver]

I found it became much easier at age 3

[TheDarkPassenger]

My youngest is 4 now and I find it a fuck load easier!

[cadburysflake]

When they say it gets easier they mean once they turn 30 and have finally managed to save a house deposit and move out. That's when it got easier for my parents .

I think it sort of gets marginally easier as you go along, sort of, ish. A newborn is definitely easier than a toddler though, we had our second child when our first was only 18 months old, when we came home from hospital and our eldest was still at my parents we just sat in the livingroom with our newborn in his Moses basket sleeping, we laughed and wondered how we ever found the newborn bit so difficult? A climbing mobile toddler is something else!

[Groovee]

I've got 2 teenagers. I've not found it easier. The challenges of parenting just change according to age.

[Goingonandonandon]

I honestly think it does get easier. Worst years were between birth and 3, my two DSs only have 18 months age gap so the first 2-3 years were hell. Lack of sleep, illness, childcare, all difficult. Easiest time found was between 7 and 11 years old. Transition to secondary is hard, but it is much, much easier now than when they were little.

[HexagonalBattenburg]

DD1 was a really easy baby - schoolchild with very challenging behaviour, a ridiculous temper and never ever shuts up talking.

DD2 was awfully hard-going as a baby - now a much easier natured school child (albeit with a lot of SN issues going on).

Basically the shit varies in type - but the quantity's remained about the same.

[cadburysflake]

I'm glad to hear from posters with 18 month age gaps that there is light at the end of the tunnel! My eldest is nearly 3, hardest (and best) 3 years of our lives, can't wait for it to start getting easier though!

[ifonly4]

My DD is 17. She far brighter than both of us and very level headed, but I've worried more about her the last couple of years than any other time in her life. I guess this is due to fact that she's just about grown up and we're having to let her find her own way in life, but have no control over it.

[MrDonut]

I had three aged 3 and under and it was so hard. I think babies and toddles are the hardest. It's just relentless and everything is exhausting. Just going to the shop to buy milk and bread was such a huge hurdle.

There are still challenges, like homework, bedtimes, picky eating, but I can take a shower, I can go to the toilet, there isn't food all over the floor every mealtime.

[Ohyesiam]

Maybe it’s just me, I find it all difficult
It’s not just you op, none of it is effortless, it’s just I found the first bit dull and limiting. Because I’ve got more freedom I can enjoy them more now they are older, but it’s all work!