Why is my husband so picky about my choice/employment?

[whatihavetoputupwith]

I am literally at the end of my tether. My husband works in a good post and earns good money, whereas I just work part time as a cleaner. Okay the money and job isn't great but I enjoy my team and I enjoy going to work. My son goes to a childminder which he enjoys very much! My husband without fail tells me I need to change my job because do I see myself doing this for the rest of my life? Why don't I want to progress in my career and why don't I just work somewhere better and earn better money? I clearly told him if he isn't happy then just piss off then he gets defensive about it! I said I will just fucking stay at home then and sounds like that's what he wants me to do! Is to be a housewife!

I am so, so pissed off that every fucking day he brings it up and I've had enough of it. He is the one who picks up overtime all the time when he doesn't even need to, I see to the house and do housework, shopping, taking DS to play group, I do everything but he still isn't happy. He wants me to do things according to him! But I refuse to do that. He wants me to change my hours and days if possible when I've already done that, I've already organised childcare as well which was difficult but now he is saying it isn't working!

My job ain't glamorous but it pays the bills and gives us all a comfortable life. I am feeling like I can't make him happy because of what I do. am I in the wrong here? Do I really need to sort my shit out and get a better job? Baring in mind I am not the most intelligent and I've got no qualifications (I do but they're not relevant). My job is the only social interaction I get as well as I don't go out and meet friends as I hardly have any, and I don't want to just talk to my husband all the time!

And the man that the OP has sounds EXACTLY like this kind of man.

Kick him to the kerb OP. You deserve better!

I think he wants you to do better for yourself but is going about it in the wrong way.

Better paid work could actually be better for your family in the long run. It takes the pressure off your partner to bring in most of the money.

Kick him to the kerb OP

What happens when she actually does that? She will be forced to change jobs to something better paid.

Exactly what winterfell said.

Yet another privileged, entitled, facilitated and no doubt overpaid man, completely refusing to recognise his partner’s contribution to him being able to lead the lifestyle he does.

What would he say if you did get a “better” job and then left 50% of the childcare/housework/life admin to him?

There is money to be made on cleaning if you really want it. It's not all skirting boards and scrubbing shit off toilets

A while back I hired someone to do an end of tenancy carpet clean. Really interesting guy - knew a lot about the composition of different carpets, how they picked up different spills and therefore what was causing the stains. Then he knew about the different cleaning chemicals he would need, depending on the carpet and the nature of the stain.

He also knew a lot about household pests and what to look for. He was impressed by my collection of spiders - and said there was no evidence of any insect infestation of any kind. Because of the spiders, which he like me refused to vacuum up.

gamerchick
I only ever cleaned in hotels and offices, I don't know about industrial cleaning or care to learn frankly. For any of those, you don't need to learn much! I do know how much I earn by NOT doing a cleaning job and how much it cost us to employ a specialist company. I am better off, simple as that.

Of course we need cleaners, the point of the thread was not about that at all, it was about wanting your family members to do something better!
There's no shame in working in an amazon warehouse before Christmas either. I wouldn't want my kids or partner to do it, especially if we don't need them to financially.

This isn't about shame or lack of aspiration. It's about choice. If OP is happy, and feels fulfilled, earning an honest living as a cleaner with colleagues she likes good for her.

Shame on her husband for his belittlement of her career choice.

For any of those, you don't need to learn much!

No, that is your perception. You think there's not much to learn because you weren't interested in learning.

If one of your kids asked for a couple of grand to do a 2 week residential to train in forensic cleaning would you be supportive? Do you know what it is without googling?

A while back I hired someone to do an end of tenancy carpet clean. Really interesting guy - knew a lot about the composition of different carpets, how they picked up different spills and therefore what was causing the stains. Then he knew about the different cleaning chemicals he would need, depending on the carpet and the nature of the stain

He also knew a lot about household pests and what to look for. He was impressed by my collection of spiders - and said there was no evidence of any insect infestation of any kind. Because of the spiders, which he like me refused to vacuum up.

Yes when you're dedicated to your job you do see there's more too it than knowing the basics like our friend Kevin

I'm with you both, I won't touch spiders either

If one of your kids asked for a couple of grand to do a 2 week residential to train in forensic cleaning would you be supportive? Do you know what it is without googling?

I am confused on why I wouldn't know without googling?
Are you trying to make yourself feel better or something?

There was a thread on here the other day about how much teachers earned. I reckon an established cleaner would earn way more than an NQT.

I am confused on why I wouldn't know without googling?
Are you trying to make yourself feel better or something?

Well it's the way you're coming across to me.

Why would I be trying to make myself feel better? I don't look down on people and think I'm better than them.

I do admin in an office and cleaners make more money than I do. But people just hear the word "cleaner" and come out with some snobby attitudes.

And I would be happy for my DS to become a cleaner if that was what he really wanted to do. I don't ever think anyone is "better than" a job because you would bloody well do it if you had no choice.