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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having to pick 11 yr old up from school

261 replies

Knitwit101 · 05/12/2018 11:44

Our school has a new head. Been there maybe a month. He has announced that in the winter all kids must be collected from school. I have an 11 yr old in p7 (Scotland) who has been walking home alone since p3. We are really near the school and he has only one road to cross, it has a crossing. This is a ridiculous rule, right? Surely an 11 yr old can walk maybe 4 minutes home alone if his parent says he can? It's not even nearly dark at 3.15pm.

To add to my irritation my 6 yr old finishes 20 minutes earlier. There is nowhere sheltered outside to wait and we are not allowed to wait in the school. There's no point walking home, sitting at home for 10 minutes then going back out again. So I am expected to stand outside (in weather and light that is unsuitable for 11 yr olds to be alone in) with my 6 yr old for 20 minutes to collect an 11 yr old who is perfectly capable of walking home alone.

I have complained, as have several other parents. The school have said that they are not making judgements about the capabilities and journeys of individual pupils, it's the same rule for everyone and that's that.
One parent refused to come and collect her dd. She was made to wait in school and her parent was called to collect her.

Yesterday I offered to 'collect' a bunch of kids and walk them to the school gate then let them go. So i basically collected every p7 kid then let them walk home like they usually do. I half thought the school would have phoned me this morning and complained about deliberate flouting of their policy but they haven't. Another parent is going to collect them all today and walk them round the corner out of sight.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous policy?

OP posts:
ReflectentMonatomism · 05/12/2018 13:23

I would not give an 11 year old a key to the house

And nor would many people. But it is for individual parents to make that decision, not for a head teacher.

MissCherryCakeyBun · 05/12/2018 13:24

I was 11years 4 days old when I started senior school....I walked 3/4 a mile to town caught a bus 3 miles then walked 5 minutes to school. My parents both worked and I'd been walking to a from school everyday without my parents ( who were at work!) since I was 9. Now this was in the 1970's when it was totally normal as a child to play out after school etc. I had a key I locked the door when I left for school and let myself in when I got home.

What the actual hell is happening in this world that children and young teenagers are being mollycoddled by schools to the point they won't be able to tie their own lacesConfused

Makes me rage

christmaschristmaschristmas · 05/12/2018 13:28

What a silly rule.

However I don't think a P3 (6-7 if I'm right) should ever have been walking home alone...

But P6 and 7 is okay presuming home is very close and someone is waiting at home.

TBH though I always had childcare to pick up my eldest (and do for my youngest) until the end of primary school.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 05/12/2018 13:29

He hasn't got knowledge of a paedo in the area has he??

Namelesswonder · 05/12/2018 13:29

Totally bizarre! My P7 (11 yrs) is starting to walk home alone and that’s a 15 min walk with several busy roads to cross. Not ideal but she needs to do it for High School. And, shock horror, she has a key to get in as I’m at work. She is alone for 20 mins till her big sister gets home - she loves the independence.

LagunaBubbles · 05/12/2018 13:31

wouldn’t matter I’d parents work tho would it as they would need to have someone home for the kids getting in

Nope. My 11 year old has a key and is perfectly capable of letting himself in from school and being alone until his brother gets hone from secondary school.

Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 13:32

I think something else maybe behing this maybe something has happened locally and the school just don’t want to come outright and say it . My kids don’t walk to school as they get the bus but if no parent is at the bus stop that child will get taken back to school. They don’t want to risk there being no one at home and the school is over 3 miles away so not like they can’t walk there if no one is home.

Miss cherry things have changed a lot since the 70s my kids school go to church services they all walk down and the last couple of years they have had a police escorts walking with them . I think the safer the better .

Avrannakern · 05/12/2018 13:34

I'm in Scotland and can't believe this. It's not dark at 3!! Parents at my school would react the same as yours.

If your kid is tough enough, then tell them that you will not come and prepare them for a long wait in the office. When the school call simply say "I'm the parent. Pur house is round the corner. He has permission to walk akin and has done so for 4 years. I'm not coming; you must let my child go". Then do not go. See what the school do.

Jeanclaudejackety · 05/12/2018 13:38

This is hilarious. Maybe he's from a school round near me where the parents drop and pick up their SIXTH FORM aged kids clogging up the road outside the High school. Someone on a local fb group qualified her 'right' to drop and pick up her 17yo ds by saying the world was 'full of weirdos'. Yes. Like yourself you weapon.

MissClareRemembers · 05/12/2018 13:38

How very strange! Has school given no official reason for their decision?

I would collectively request a shelter be built for all the waiting parents. I would imagine that would have to be quite a big, expensive shelter!

It might also be worth copying in the chair of Governors on any correspondence. School are answerable to the Governor board and should be prepared to discuss their decisions. The Governors won’t be able to influence decisions but (particularly parent Governors) will be able to open a conversation.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/12/2018 13:38

If there is 'something else' going on then they should tell the parents and let them make an informed decision.

If there is some unknown peadophile on the loose let's hope someone has told him to ignore the 11yo S1s who'll be 6 months older than the OP's DS and walking home alone from secondary school in two hours. FFS what a piece of nonsense!

HashTagLil · 05/12/2018 13:40

He has announced that in the winter all kids must be collected from school

Remind him that it is not officially winter yet.

Avrannakern · 05/12/2018 13:40

@MissClareRemembers

In Scotland (unless it's a private school or something) we don't have governors. It's the local authority they answer too, but before you can complain to them you need to follow to school's complaint procedure first, then raise it with the local council.

Notverygrownup · 05/12/2018 13:41

If he had knowledge of a paedophile in the area, this is still not the way to tackle it. According to my social worker friend, children should be taught safe practices, like walking home together, going straight home, not wandering off, or checking in/texting when they are home, because there is usually a paedophile in the area. Some are known - and apparently we have one/some in our lovely village - others are not known. That gave me a lot of food for thought!!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/12/2018 13:44

Hash it's winter in Scotland Grin

Cherries101 · 05/12/2018 13:44

Are you sure something unpublicized hasn’t happened to encourage this change of policy? When the local school started doing this it transpired it was because the police had received several reports of someone trying to snatch kids but didn’t want to share it more widely to avoid panic

Missingstreetlife · 05/12/2018 13:45

Round here the oldest kids in juniors 10/11 go to fetch younger sibs in infants 7/8.

ReflectentMonatomism · 05/12/2018 13:45

my kids school go to church services they all walk down and the last couple of years they have had a police escorts walking with them

FFS. What, in case paedophiles on mopeds swoop past, snatch a child and disappear over the horizon? In case giant eagle paedophiles straight out of Lord of the Wings dive down, grab a child and head off with it in their talons? Do the police have shotguns to deal with this eventuality?

Dragon3 · 05/12/2018 13:46

Miss cherry things have changed a lot since the 70s my kids school go to church services they all walk down and the last couple of years they have had a police escorts walking with them

Shock police escort to walk to church?! I'm genuinely shocked. Surely this can't be good for children's MH? Or a good use of police time?

OP I'd be tempted to call social services or the NSPCC myself and ask for advice. Then you can at least tell the school that they think it's bonkers, assuming that they do.

Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 13:46

Lonny it sure is black ice everywhere this morning brr it’s cold

Boohissmiss · 05/12/2018 13:49

Yes dragon It is a big school with over 500 children so they control traffic to get them there safe as it would take forever to press lights for that many children and they pass a fair few traffic lights.

Missingstreetlife · 05/12/2018 13:54

If there is a local problem people are entitled to know (as pp sad there will always be unsavoury characters of all sorts, teach kids how to be safe)
5 year old can safely walk with sensible 11 year old for few minutes.

Racecardriver · 05/12/2018 13:55

The school has a legal duty of care to take reasonable care to endure the reasonable safety of children which extends to their journey home (or part thereof). How they choose to dismiss their children definitely falls into this. So if the child gets grabbed on the way home it will most likely be the school that is liable. A very easy way to discharge this liability is to pass it in to a parent.

Rhiannon13 · 05/12/2018 14:00

So if the child gets grabbed on the way home it will most likely be the school that is liable.

Are you serious??

Original poster
Knitwit101 · 05/12/2018 14:01

The head is new and has introduced this rule. I'm going to see if I can find out where his last school was and see if they had the same.

I would be very surprised if something has happened locally and no-one has heard even a rumour about it. And if he does know something which has such a massive impact on our children's safety surely we should know it too, no?

The official reason is so that children are not walking home alone in the dark (even though it's not dark) and ice (even though it's rarely icy at 3.15pm). In fact it was icy at 8.45 when they went to school but there is not a rule about kids being dropped off by an adult. Which make a the whole thing even more ridiculous now I think about it. It is probably darker in the mornings than in the afternoons. And there is more traffic around.
I'm going to phone and ask to meet the head. Its just absolute nonsense.

And yes my 11 yr old has a key and is quite happy to be alone for half an hour.

OP posts: