Having to pick 11 yr old up from school

[Knitwit101]

Our school has a new head. Been there maybe a month. He has announced that in the winter all kids must be collected from school. I have an 11 yr old in p7 (Scotland) who has been walking home alone since p3. We are really near the school and he has only one road to cross, it has a crossing. This is a ridiculous rule, right? Surely an 11 yr old can walk maybe 4 minutes home alone if his parent says he can? It's not even nearly dark at 3.15pm.

To add to my irritation my 6 yr old finishes 20 minutes earlier. There is nowhere sheltered outside to wait and we are not allowed to wait in the school. There's no point walking home, sitting at home for 10 minutes then going back out again. So I am expected to stand outside (in weather and light that is unsuitable for 11 yr olds to be alone in) with my 6 yr old for 20 minutes to collect an 11 yr old who is perfectly capable of walking home alone.

I have complained, as have several other parents. The school have said that they are not making judgements about the capabilities and journeys of individual pupils, it's the same rule for everyone and that's that.
One parent refused to come and collect her dd. She was made to wait in school and her parent was called to collect her.

Yesterday I offered to 'collect' a bunch of kids and walk them to the school gate then let them go. So i basically collected every p7 kid then let them walk home like they usually do. I half thought the school would have phoned me this morning and complained about deliberate flouting of their policy but they haven't. Another parent is going to collect them all today and walk them round the corner out of sight.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous policy?

Totally ridiculous. We are literally across the road from school and my 10 year old (P5) comes home on his own. Lots of children walk home by themselves, or with older siblings.

Insisting that children are collected is nonsense.

Most of both DD's classes walked home in Yr 6 - only one significant road to cross and that was only dangerous because of dodgy parent parking (double yellow and great big 'School, no parking between X hours ' signs). Not far for anyone because of tight catchment area.

Nearly all of them were going to be travelling by public transport in Year 7, secondary school - London suburbs with big variety of schools and distances -so getting them used to developing their own traffic sense was vital. Walking back with a friend was also good practice, as learning how to handle someone else's bad traffic and behavioural sense was also important.

Have there been some behavioural issues on the way home from some of the other children, so they are making it a blanket ban ?

I would want to know how the HT is thinking that his policy is encouraging independence AND teaching the children to walk to and from school everyday when they start secondary the year after.
Surely THIS is the time to let children walk back home so they are ready for secondary???

I'd challenge that and would be asking for a detailed reason for this decision. If there is a specific danger, parents and the wider community need to know but it seems more likely it's something personal to the Head if he's implemented it so soon after starting. A bad experience in a previous school maybe? Whatever the reason, as far as I'm aware, the school has no say in what the children do beyond the school gates.

How ridiculous! Mollycoddling children like that isn't doing anyone any favours.

Ask to see the new risk assessment that has brought this on.
Then if need be speak to the education dept.
Considering when I worked in a Scottish school they couldn’t actually enforce a ban on a certain kind of crisps that gave a P1 child anaphylaxis (cooked in an oil that triggered them) nor can they legally enforce a uniform I can’t see how a ht would be able to get away with enforcing that.

I can’t see the local social services dept being too impressed if parents simply decided not to pick them up - they’d eventually just have to let the kids walk home.

If there’s a reason kids shouldn’t be walking alone locally then parents should be told because very few dangers vanish at 4pm

That’s ridiculous.

Of course it’s not up to “school to assess the capability of individual pupils”

It’s up to their parents to decide when to allow it and school would have no liability beyond school hours/grounds.

Our school expect children to be collected in P1/2/3 which is completely fair enough.

"What does he mean by the weather? If it's raining then they are going to get wet walking home with an adult or not? That makes no sense at all"

Good point. Maybe he's assuming parents will take their children home by car.

Wow . What a crazy policy .

To be honest what would happen if you refuse to play ball with this.

They ring you - well refuse to pick your child up - simply state you as the parent say your child is to walk home on their own.

All the school can do is call SS and after a few calls SS will be telling the school to get a grip!

That's ridiculous. My DD (8) has loads of activities like after school clubs/choir etc and no way would I be going out to fetch her when it's only a street and a half away. I go to pick up younger DS(6) but even he could walk home with his mates and not me if he wanted. (Small village and not unusual at all to see youngsters out and about without adults) Not a chance in hell I would be going back out with him to pick up his P5 Dsis who would be coming home in actual darkness rather than slightly dull 3pm.

You need to stand together with other parents and tell this uppity new head that he is off his nut. Either carry on doing the very blatant 'one parent picks up and releases all kids' thing or do as another pp says and take younger siblings inside with other parents and wait for the Bell for your P7. Piss the school off until they agree to be sensible.

Is it so that they don't get Darked on?

I hate that, slowly but surely, parents responsibility for their kids is being completely taken away from them.You know that your child is more than capable of getting himself home safely.Unless this is a new law that has been surreptitiously passed by parliament then I can't see that the head's rule can be enforceable.Challenge him.

Surely after school is the safest time for older kids to walk alone, when there are loads of parents and grandparents about collecting younger kids, who would undoubtedly step in if they noticed a problem? This is where independence starts!

Surely they can't enforce this? Say no.

That's bonkers. Is there a Parents association meeting scheduled before the end of term? If not, I suggest writing to the head and ccing the council to say you don't agree with this policy and your DC is free to walk home on their own.

If the head doesn't heed it they'll keep the child in and call you for pick-up - refuse to go and they'll call SS. SS will tell them they are fucking bonkers. Job done. But you'll need to hold your nerve.

I think this is a real shame. I’d definitely make a formal complaint.
It’s a good, healthy part of a child’s development to encourage independence at an appropriate age. Most schools Ive heard of in England are fine with children walking home from yr 5 ,or certainly year 6. It’s really nice for them to walk back with their friends.

This is the kind of thing that makes me overreact and get totally incensed. Lack of thinking really pushes my buttons.

So - are they going to wrongfully imprison every child if the parents don't turn up for them? What if the parent doing the group pick-up gets delayed and they have 10 kids standing there? Is the head going to supervise them? What if the parents just refuse? I'd be so tempted to get all the parents standing a few hundred feet outside the school, refusing to pick up the kids, but still able to see them - what would happen then?

It wouldn’t matter I’d parents work tho would it as they would need to have someone home for the kids getting in . So someone should be at home anyway .

If the head doesn't heed it they'll keep the child in and call you for pick-up - refuse to go and they'll call SS. SS will tell them they are fucking bonkers. Job done.

This.

Seriously!!! My DD is in Yr 7 now and has been walking home since Yr 6 - she now also gets the bus to my work on mondays for dance class I walk with her the rest of the way - plus tuesdays and thursdays she walks to her other dance classes as those are held at her school. Expecting parents to collect at this age is ridiculous

It wouldn’t matter I’d parents work tho would it as they would need to have someone home for the kids getting in

No child in the final year of primary school has a key and lets themselves in? Not one? Yeah, right.

I think you either need to make a stand about this (and maybe research whether there are other schools in the area with a more flexible policy) or make an arrangement with another parent who already walks their child home, so that officially they pick up your DS too (but once they are outside the school gates he can walk separately from them if he chooses).

Maybe he's assuming parents will take their children home by car.

I have wondered about these before. I used to work in a primary school, and children in Y5 and Y6 were allowed to walk home alone if they had a letter from their parent giving consent. But this was always referred to informally as "walking home" rather than "walking home alone," as if nobody ever walked with a parent. They certainly did - that road was full of parents and children walking together at home time, including some in the relevant years, but it was as if teachers didn't realise that was happening.

I would not give an 11 year old a key to the house .