To have cancelled my favour?

[nottomgates]

My friend asked me to arrange her big birthday night out. She is having 4 celebrations from meals out with the girls to a cocktail night out. The cocktail night she asked me to arrange. I was given 20 names and numbers of who to invite( the majority I don’t know). On a group chat one of the girls offered her BF bar as a meet up point and she would provide free canopies and 2 bottles of fizz. Perfect I thought. I checked in with my friend on the arrangements and she became very rude and abrupt. She had wanted to meet in a cheap cheerful city centre pub on a Saturday night. I told her the bar is on the way and that we could decorate the table and make it special. I phoned her and she was still very rude saying that’s not what she had in mind. I ended the phone call by saying that I feel like I’ve upset her and I’ve not done anything with the intent of upsetting her. She said I had upset her. I said we should leave the conversation and think about what we’ve both said.
I think she does know what she has in mind, and I obviously don’t. She knows where people live and where they can meet up, I don’t. With hindsight I then felt uncomfortable asking up to 20 people I don’t know for money. I’m also the only one of her friends who works from home in the evenings. Most nights I have brought home work that needs doing for the morning and I always have work emails that I read and respond to.
A few days later I tried to be diplomatic and not hurtful to my friend. I told her that I think I should pass the baton back to her to organise her own party as she knows what she wants, knows how to ask the others for money without causing offence and I took too much on with work commitments. In truth I know she can be hard work with organisational things and knew we’d still have problems me going back and forth with plans.
She accused me of of spitting my dummy out because I didn’t get my own way with regards to the meet up bar.
I’ve text three times since and got the same response- she’s busy. I tried phoning and she didn’t answer.
Have I been unreasonable? ( I didn’t offer to organise her night out- it was put on me).
Btw I organised my own big birthday night out.

Make your life a whole lot easier - dump the CF. She sounds like a cunt

Why is she asking anyone to organize her birthday do? Seems odd to me!

YANBU - if she wants you to arrange it, she goes with what you arrange. If she wants to have it a specific way, she arranges it herself.

Is your friend Mariah Carey? Tell her to arrange her own night CF

YANBU. She asked you to organise it - you did this to the best of your ability with arrangements that sound perfectly reasonable - she wasn't happy, so she would be better to organise it herself if she has precise ideas about what she wants.

You are, definitely, not being unreasonable. She should be arranging her own BD party. Besides, I don't think even the Queen has four celebrations.
Get a new friend. She sounds like a diva.

I really want her to be okay with me. I feel so frustrated that this should not be a reason to fall out. We’re not school girls!!!

Tell her to piss off, grow up and sort out her own birthday party. One that doesn't include you.

She sounds like hard work.

Four events for her birthday?
Sounds so OTT to me!

Stop calling her let her get on with it. She sounds like such a drama queen.

Leave princess to it - she sounds like an absolute pain in the arse. Who is she to give orders - are you her friend or her staff?

This is your chance to get the hell away from her - take it!

I don't think you were unreasonable. If she wanted the event exactly the way she had envisaged, she needs to organise it herself.

Frankly, 4 birthday celebrations is ridiculous. She sounds like a self centred cow.

I don’t think I would have been as pleasant as you OP, saying you feel as though you’ve upset her. I would have told her to fuck off. The cheeky bitch!

What did she do for your birthday?

I think you really need to get to a point where you are okay with her not being okay with you not turning yourself inside out and in knots to try and psychically figure out what madam wanted for her birthday and then performing really rather unreasonable feats of logistics when it comes to herding a bunch of total strangers towards making her little vision come true.

Far from being unreasonable for handing it back to her, it was unreasonable for her to ask/demand it in the first place, and would be foolish in the extreme for all the reasons you have identified in your initial post to try and jump through that hoop.

Oh, and for the love of mike, stop texting and phoning the princess, feeding into her sense of entitlement and power.

Don’t worry about it for one more minute, you handled the situation very well. People can have as many birthday parties as they want but asking others to organise them is peak CF behaviour.

She is unreasonable.

Get out of this friendship now OP and stay out before she books her wedding and appoints you MOH.

What LEM said.

4 parties?
Asking other people to organise them for her?
Complaining about what they've organised?

Is she the queen?

Four celebrations is nothing. I have a colleague who has been celebrating her big birthday for weeks and weeks. I’ve got bored reading about it and seeing crass photos on FB of her wearing sashes and tiaras etc.

What a fucking diva!

She’s not OK, and she’s not going to be OK with you.

This is because she’s a fucking twat.

As you say, you’re not schoolgirls any more- so stop wasting your time and energy on this mean girl behaviour just to keep the kudos of being in with the popular crowd.

You need to build up your self worth because you are not valuing yourself very highly at all to be chasing this unpleasant individual to maintain a friendship. Really, you are worth more.

If she is so exacting about where, when, who etc then she should organise it herself. She sounds a bit intense, 4 celebrations and someone to organise it for her. I think you are best off out of it!