To have cancelled my favour?

[nottomgates]

My friend asked me to arrange her big birthday night out. She is having 4 celebrations from meals out with the girls to a cocktail night out. The cocktail night she asked me to arrange. I was given 20 names and numbers of who to invite( the majority I don’t know). On a group chat one of the girls offered her BF bar as a meet up point and she would provide free canopies and 2 bottles of fizz. Perfect I thought. I checked in with my friend on the arrangements and she became very rude and abrupt. She had wanted to meet in a cheap cheerful city centre pub on a Saturday night. I told her the bar is on the way and that we could decorate the table and make it special. I phoned her and she was still very rude saying that’s not what she had in mind. I ended the phone call by saying that I feel like I’ve upset her and I’ve not done anything with the intent of upsetting her. She said I had upset her. I said we should leave the conversation and think about what we’ve both said.
I think she does know what she has in mind, and I obviously don’t. She knows where people live and where they can meet up, I don’t. With hindsight I then felt uncomfortable asking up to 20 people I don’t know for money. I’m also the only one of her friends who works from home in the evenings. Most nights I have brought home work that needs doing for the morning and I always have work emails that I read and respond to.
A few days later I tried to be diplomatic and not hurtful to my friend. I told her that I think I should pass the baton back to her to organise her own party as she knows what she wants, knows how to ask the others for money without causing offence and I took too much on with work commitments. In truth I know she can be hard work with organisational things and knew we’d still have problems me going back and forth with plans.
She accused me of of spitting my dummy out because I didn’t get my own way with regards to the meet up bar.
I’ve text three times since and got the same response- she’s busy. I tried phoning and she didn’t answer.
Have I been unreasonable? ( I didn’t offer to organise her night out- it was put on me).
Btw I organised my own big birthday night out.

I'm guessing its her sweet 16th birthday. In which case, she's too young for cocktails.

OP by continually chasing her, you've given her ALL the POWER in this ridiculous and embarrassing situation, please tell her, in your final text to Get to FUCK and don't forget the smiley face emoji

So,she got four of her minions friends to organise four birthday parties. You did your bit and now you're being iced out because your mind reading skills were not up to scratch? Tell her to fuck the absolute fuck off. She's a grade A dick, spoiled beyond measure. Seriously, with friends like that you really don't need bullies....

dump the CF. She sounds like a cunt

This!
She sounds awful

She sounds like a right crank how old is she 15? Ffs

Is she the same woman who's getting married in the bridezilla thread?

On a group chat one of the girls offered her BF bar as a meet up point and she would provide free canopies and 2 bottles of fizz.

Bit of a long shot but has she taken offence at you booking this as the easy option rather than you ringing round and booking something yourself? Not defensible at all, just wondering if she has a secret past with the other girls BF, or past animosity with that GF or whatever.

Either way she sounds like far too much hard work, it’s a 40th not a wedding.

Don’t message her again, the ball is in her court, and hold your head up high at your cousins house and ignore her if she is there.

YANBU - if she wants you to arrange it, she goes with what you arrange. If she wants to have it a specific way, she arranges it herself.

Exactly!

Although, I am a bit at the idea of 'instructing' friends to organise 4 parties for me. She's either 5 or 100!

One of those four page threads which was actually perfectly replied to in the very first reply.

To reiterate: She's a CF cunt. Dump her.

The more you chase her the more she'll feel justified feeling like the wronged party.

Stop feeding it. I'd stop bothering with her until she made a move to apologise. She sounds like a tiresome dickhead.

She's a spoilt twat, don't worry yourself

Is she engaged? Is she huffy because she asked you to be maid of honour and organise her hen party and thanks to a hideous misunderstanding, you thought this grown woman wanted you to arrange one of FOUR birthday celebrations?
Iwontmentionthecanopies

Leave her to it-she will either contact you or not, and apologise or not.

Your decision what to after that-but I know what I would do!

Arrange a night out with the other girls she listed then send her a pic of you all sipping cocktails and giving her the finger

No my cousin hasn’t been invited, as the friend isn’t keen on her.
Christmas will be great for you - what are you worried about?! Just fill in cousin / cf’s sil on the weekend. Maybe her husband will uninvite her anyway :)

Who gets someone else to organise their party? It's not a hen do

Oh my goodness she sounds like hard work and lazy, if she should organise her 4 celebrations. Sounds very self absorbed. I would distance myself from her tbh.

If I asked any of my lovely, kind and loyal long-time friends to organise one of FOUR parties for me (seeing as how I am an adult and have functioning legs etc), they'd laugh, then tell me to fck the fck off, because that's what they should do.

Cut this wacko out of your life.

OP, The most shocking thing in this thread is that you’ve asked if you were being unreasonable. I don’t understand how you could imagine anyone thinking you are the ‘unreasonable one in this situation. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it a milestone birthday? Why do you need to organise it, she can do it herself?!

Errr what is there to organise if she wants to meet in a cheap pub? Book a couple of tables? Is that it? Why on Earth has she asked you to book something if she wanted to micromanage?
Get rid. It’s honestly not worth the headspace. If she’s any friend she’ll come back to you.

My god. My 40th is in January and I... have no idea what I’m doing yet. Probably dinner with DH, or a couple of glasses of wine in a pub with my friends. To be organised the week before.

Your friend is unhinged. As a PP asked, what did she organise for your birthday? Nothing, right?

Take inspiration OP😉

Op sorry to ask but do you have any issues with anxiety? It just seems that you need this person to be ok with you when actually she should be trying to make amends with you. To keep texting her, you must be worried. I'd cut her off by now

OP, why are you genuflecting and prostrating to this person? She seems like a nasty piece of work, a real ungrateful pos. She should be calling, genuflecting and prostrating herself to YOU. Not the other way around! I'd simply wipe her from your life. Unless you have no other friend in your entire life except her, just stop texting her. Just walk away from her. You've done more than enough to suck up to her, too much. Do not send any more texts. Do not contact her at all. In fact, what I would do, is contact her friend that offered the bar, tell her that mutual friend didn't like it and started a fight with you, and let mutual friend and bar friend go at it, instead.