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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some people are a bit precious about shoes in house

214 replies

VikkiStMichael1 · 04/12/2018 16:26

I visit someone weekly with work and use a room which is literally 6 foot steps from the front door yet I have to take my shoes off.

AIBU to feel this is a tad annoying?

OP posts:
HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 21:24

My shoes are all very comfortable - that’s not a reason to take them off when you get inside

crispysausagerolls · 05/12/2018 21:42

I feel very silly asking people to take their shoes off as I have a dog who traipses in god knows what, so unless someone is actually muddy underfoot, shoes can stay on 🤷🏻‍♀️

ajw88 · 05/12/2018 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

masterandmargarita · 05/12/2018 21:44

I don't have cream carpets in my house for the same reason I rarely wear white - because I've got kids. I just want a home that I can relax in.

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo · 05/12/2018 21:54

Yes I think people are crazy about it.

We are shoes on. It's a nice house. We don't get ill more than anyone else.
Once has a drunken oaf walked mud in. Not a single person has walked mud in or indeed not taken off shoes from rain.

I trust my guests. One in 15 years let me down and it was rectified in two minutes via a hoover.

People have gone mad.

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 21:57

OohBabyBabeh
I imagine if you had an immunocompromised child you couldn’t be too careful and rightly so.
To be honest, I don’t think that hand contact with the ground will be any worse than handling money / doorknobs in shops etc. They are filthy.

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo · 05/12/2018 21:57

One mum from dc school used to stand over you taking them off... It was so tense and yet she happily poured urine from a potty down her kitchen sink... Without disinfecting it, her son was obsessed with stuffing things down the loo..

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo · 05/12/2018 22:02

It's very much a class thing. The clean proud working class, women proudly scrubbing the front door step has morphed into women proudly and possessively guarding their 'posh' cream carpets.

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 22:03

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo
Exactly. Can’t be arsed with it. I spend too much time going in and out, here and there, to be shoe changing all the time.

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 22:04

Elfontheshelfiswatchingyoutoo
😂😂😂 Good luck.

PengAly · 05/12/2018 22:19

Has it ever occured that some of us may have saved up to purchase our first home and maybe that home came with cream carpets that we can not yet afford to replace but would still like them to look like? I cant believe people are getting judged for not wanting their carpets stained!!

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 22:28

PengAly
That’s different, and sensible.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 22:32

Yes but shoes on household does not mean stained carpets necessarily

Greenglassteacup · 05/12/2018 22:37

Ding ding, second mention of a “class thing”. What a load of bollocks.

Greenglassteacup · 05/12/2018 22:40

I do t have any carpets but it’s still shoes off

Greenglassteacup · 05/12/2018 22:40

Don’t

Doghorsechicken · 05/12/2018 22:51

We don’t have carpets but I hate shoes in the house. Gross! Get them off and enjoy our underfloor heating on your toes. Shoes are for outside.

Knittink · 06/12/2018 03:11

Presumably all you 'shoes are for outside' people happily walk around in shops, offices, libraries, hospitals etc with your shoes on without finding it 'gross'?

We take off muddy or visibly dirty shoes, but otherwise often leave them on, and would never ask guests to remove theirs. I'm not one of MN's many germ-phobes, but I do think carpets are inherently pretty unhygienic. We have none in the house.

blueskiesandforests · 06/12/2018 05:58

Charmlight someone had to spout that utter tripe didn't they? Well done, the dog hair coating your sofa and the cat shit under it proves how U you are, have a gold star and be proud! I grew up in a house like that...

Are the whole population of Japan, various other Asian countries, Germany, Scandinavia etc ect "very liwer middle"? What a tiny minded class obsessed, class aspirational wannabe way to think...

Flowerpot2005 · 06/12/2018 06:13

I'm a no shoes house & I also don't allow people visitors to rest their tea cups on the arms of my sofa & chairs.

blueskiesandforests · 06/12/2018 06:24

I grew up in a shoes on house with sticky floors and too many dogs and cats, where children were to sit on the floor because furniture belonged to adults and pets. I had friends with enormous half renovated, half deralict houses whee you kept your wellies on because there were nails sticking out of some of the floor boards and who knows where an incontinent pet might have peed. Shoes on houses were always a bit cold not very homely.

On most of the farms people did take shoes off.

I live in a country where everyone automatically takes off shoes when they take off coats now, including primary school kids (who put on indoor shoes, they don't walk around in socks - primary school children still sit in the floor, so shoes on means sitting and putting hands on whatever anyone else has on their shoes) - I've previously lived in another totally different country on the other side of the world where the same is true and where shoes are removed even in traditional restaurants.

None of the shoes off countries I've lived in have had a culture of carpets in houses - you don't see carpets as commonly anywhere as you do in the UK. Bamboo matting, beautiful hard floors of various types, often underfloor heating yes, a few beautiful rugs usually, fitted carpets very rarely.

I've swapped, initially because "when in Rome" but now because the difference in quality of home life seems to me to correlate with remiving shoes - sitting or pottering about indoors with your "street shoes" (as they say here) on has the feel of not being "at home", being about to scuttle back out, perching, being slightly unsettled, uncomfortable - it's an unsatisfactory, cold state of affairs.

I keep my shoes on shoes on houses but my children have grown up in a country where shoes in in the house is pretty much like ridinging your bike in through the front door and sitting on the sofa in your coat - so they do struggle to remember not to automatically remove shoes. It's counter intuitive and feels like an insult to the host. That's probably why shoes off people struggle with keeping shoes on in some cases, though I'm teaching my cross cultural kids to take their queue from the hosts.

Obviously people are not rigid algorithm following robots and are capable of understanding that wheelchair users cannot remove their wheels and not expecting anything like that - it's deliberately obtuse to think that a wheelchair would present some kind of logic bomb meaning the end of all cultures where shoes off in homes is the norm.

blueskiesandforests · 06/12/2018 06:26

*cue not queue obviously...

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/12/2018 07:16

Not all shoes on houses are like that. And for some people removing your shoes in someone else’s house is akin to doing it in a restaurant - so equally rude. As long as people are clear that no one is intentionally being RUDE AND DISGUSTING then we would all manage a lot better

CaptainsYuleLog · 06/12/2018 07:27

I really don't want people's manky feet shedding athlete's foot or dead skin all over my house. Keep you bloody shoes on, it's minging!

RolandDeschainsGilly · 06/12/2018 07:30

I’m precious about it because I live in private rent and my landlady put brand new carpets down just before I moved in.

My previous house was wooden floors downstairs so I wasn’t bothered but carpets are a different matter.