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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people are a bit precious about shoes in house

214 replies

VikkiStMichael1 · 04/12/2018 16:26

I visit someone weekly with work and use a room which is literally 6 foot steps from the front door yet I have to take my shoes off.

AIBU to feel this is a tad annoying?

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 05/12/2018 13:53

But it's not only 6 steps to the room - you're then in a room then Confused

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 13:57

Blueskies it may help their microbiome however (I am no expert)

I am still very happy with my decision for my healthy non-immunity-compromised baby to play on the floor in a house where people keep their shoes on

Obviously muddy shoes or if someone trod in a pile of poo they are removed. Floors are regularly cleaned

I know this won’t satisfy those who think we are foul and disgusting and bathing in poo particles, but I am not in the least worried

BrokenWing · 05/12/2018 14:31

I have never been in a house where people are asked to remove shoes.

Dh is a tradesman and he says he is very very occasionally asked (maybe once every few months) and he puts on plastic shoe covers instead but he won't work in shoe covers as dangerous on ladders etc, so tells them it will cost more to cover all floors in floor protection stuff so he can walk on them and suddenly they say it is ok.

Ds's friends always remove their manky trainers when they come in, but I wouldn't ask an adult. The dog doesn't wash his feet after a walk either (unless muddy)..

OohBabyBabeh · 05/12/2018 14:33

Ah yes, please bring your shoes onto my carpet with all the crap from outside, so my baby can crawl over it and put their hands in their mouth after. Please, I'm begging you.

abacucat · 05/12/2018 14:46

Yes lots of my friends who insist on shoes off, have dogs and cats. They are creating much more dog shit on the floor than I am wearing shoes.

Ohyesiam · 05/12/2018 14:49

Shoes on - you don't ask guests to get undressed it's rude.

Undress? Do you let them take their coat off or is that undressing too?

PengAly · 05/12/2018 16:09

We have cream carpets and they look gorgeous. We also encourage people to take shoes off when they come im and nobody has had a problem with it. I actually find it completely unreasonable for a guest to feel uncomfortable doing this...my house, my rules. Shoes off is the norm on loads of other cultures

LakieLady · 05/12/2018 19:21

I actually find it completely unreasonable for a guest to feel uncomfortable doing this

People can't help how they feel!

PengAly · 05/12/2018 19:32

The fact people think its OK to drag dirt onto carpets from their outdoor shoes is shocking. People are free to feel however they do but that doesn't mean people are wrong to not want shoes in their home!

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 19:34

I’m curious - if you a shoes off household do you take them off in shoes on homes? Some of my friends still do, and they are nice so I assume they aren’t trying to make a point, and equally they clearly aren’t concerned about getting their clean socks or feet covered in poo particles from my floor

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 19:38

I really don’t know anyone from shoes on homes that would “drag dirt” onto a carpet. You wipe your shoes on the doormat and if they are muddy or you have trodden in something unspeakable then you take them off, even in shoes on homes. Really what you are talking about is microscopic stuff, which is fine if that’s your concern. Don’t be daft about people who keep their shoes on being happy about trailing mud all over the house - it’s not like that

abacucat · 05/12/2018 19:41

Yes this is about OTT levels of cleanliness.

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 19:43

Shoes off - very lower middle.
Don’t you have decent doormats?
Surely only mud or shite clarted footwear needs to be removed?

PengAly · 05/12/2018 19:53

We do have a matt to wipe shoes one but everyone who comes happily take their shoes off before we even suggest it. I always ask when i go to someones house. I dont understand why people are annoyed by peoples own preferences in THEIR OWN HOME. Its completely reasonable to ask guests to take shoes off in your home, if guests dont like it then they dont have to stay.

Greenglassteacup · 05/12/2018 19:54

Ahh, class. I was wondering when that big load of old bollocks would trundle along into this thread.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 19:56

I’ve never been bothered about taking my shoes off in someone else’s house. Though I am often embarrassed about the state of my feet (I get a lot of blisters) so have to remember to take spare socks if not wearing them, or just in case the socks I am wearing have got a bit sweaty (I do a lot of walking). I am sure that if people are worried about poo particles they equally don’t want my sweaty feet on their floors

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 19:57

Greeglassteacup Sorry, couldn’t resist 😁
True though 😁😁😁

Charmlight · 05/12/2018 20:03

I don’t go back if I’m asked to take my shoes off, but I will of course do it with good grace the first time.
It just smacks to me of ‘’me and my prissy wissy germ free house that I can barely tolerate your oafish personage in’’
I know I’m in a minority, but I’d be terrified of the state a visitor’s socks would end up in if I asked them to remove their shoes.
For that reason, when I see toes going to ease heels off shoes we say ‘’ Absolutely do not take your shoes off. We don’t do that here’’
Admittedly, some people struggle NOT to!
BIG DOORMATS

Evangelinee · 05/12/2018 20:09

Shoes off right by the door in my house. I think it's gross. And then washing of hands. Not unreasonable at all.

bigbluebus · 05/12/2018 20:16

I let people make the choice when they come into my house - unless it is particularly wet/muddy outside - in which case I ask them to remove shoes. I don't allow shoes upstairs though since having a new cream carpet fitted (not my choice but I was out voted).

I stayed with some friends last summer in a country where people traditionally take their shoes off indoors - so I dutifully followed the rules. However, i couldn't help thinking it was a little daft as they had a dog who roamed in and out of the house freely - and didn't take his paws off Grin. They also had solid floors throughout so no carpet to ruin.

We also used to have a family member who was a full time wheelchair user so they couldn't obviously take their wheels off when they came indoors. We have solid floors in the hall and kitchen but carpet in the living room and the wheelchair was allowed in there so I was fairly relaxed about shoe wearers too.

crosstalk · 05/12/2018 20:17

I'm with Winterfell - with stone/wood/floors and a muddy lane and dogs and dashing in and out it's really too much hassle to change shoes every ten minutes. They get cleaned every day anyway. I more object to stilletos on wood floors when we have a Christmas party. However, if someone asks me to take shoes off for religious/cultural reasons I will, providing they warn me to bring socks. And of course for people who have carpets but I really don't know many round here who would ask that.

StoneofDestiny · 05/12/2018 20:29

Shoes off here and I automatically take them off in the homes of other people. I really don't want mess from outside trampled into the pale carpets throughout my home or my white kitchen flooring. I really can't get the idea of wearing outside footwear inside - it's neither comfortable or clean.

PengAly · 05/12/2018 20:33

Why the hell is this a class thing?! How ridiculous...

OohBabyBabeh · 05/12/2018 21:09

@Charmlight so you think it's perfectly okay to walk outside on pavements where dogs piss and shit, birds shit, litter is thrown, and general other messes - and take that onto someone's carpet where they could have young children putting their hands ? Unfortunately, a quick shuffle on a doormat doesn't remove all of that nastiness.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 05/12/2018 21:23

I think it’s perfectly ok in my house, so of course I think it’s fine in someone else’s. However, I understand that they feel strongly about it so I take my shoes off, I don’t even need to be asked if I can see shoes by their door and they are in socks/slippers or bare feet