To think that the “sod the housework” advice is really unhelpful

[cadburyegg]

Just that really. We have a 3 yr old at 9 month old, I’m on maternity leave yet the advice is now to sod the housework and make memories with the kids. I struggle to keep on top of it all but the bare minimum I need to do is a load of laundry per day, washing dishes, preparing food, clearing work spaces etc because we all need to eat and wear clean clothes.

I think this advice should be changed to helpful tips on how to do bits during the day while making sure the kids get the attention they need. AIBU?

Galavanting. Lol mine are Older now and at school all day. I work 20 hours a week
On my days if I do a full clean of house
Food shop
House admin
That leaves me with 2 days for galavanting if I’m lucky. I still have laundry for 4 to sort general
Cooking etc.

My Dh does what he can but he is out of the house 50 hours or so.

When mine were tiny I certainly never galavanted

Good storage is key Invest in that and go from there.

Oh and a cordless hoover has changed my life.

Dusting= I do it every morning, takes 10minutes while dc are playing

Dusting EVERY DAY?

As for the comments about making teens do their own washing, why on earth would you have loads of separate washing loads when everything can go in together?

PS what is house admin?

The make memories thing is just another social media bollocks btw.
Another way to make parents guilty!!!
Piss off with that shit.

Oh and when I saw "everything can go in together" I don't mean different colours, I mean not washing my clothes separately to the rest of the family's.

House admin. Sorting letters
Paying credit cards
Checking bank accounts
booking holidays
Getting paperwork done for holidays
Getting new quotes for until it’s bills so you do t pay more
Sorting car insurance mot tax etc
Theres loads!!

This isn’t general advice.

It’s just people posting tongue in cheek memes on Facebook and Twitter which you don’t need to follow.

I’ve not seen any government sponsored adverts telling us to forget the housework.

• House admin. Sorting letters Paying credit cards Checking bank accounts booking holidays Getting paperwork done for holidays Getting new quotes for until it’s bills so you do t pay more Sorting car insurance mot tax etc Theres loads!!*

Oh come on!! Hoe many of these need to be done weekly?
And checking bank accounts? Really? There are apps for that. It takes seconds and you can do it anytime anywhere.

I do all of our admin. I’d say those chores listed above take me 10 mins a week if averaged out.

I have to admit, it’s something I found very difficult, but in response to some of the posters on here, I think it partly depends on your baby. DS1 was a very unsettled baby who needed holding constantly and didn’t sleep well. I was absolutely exhausted constantly and unable to put him down. DH was out of the house from 6.30am-8 during the week, so we really cold only just about do what we needed to survive. The house was dirty and untidy, but we wern’t Doing nothing!

3 loads of washing a week??
I do three loads a day for four of us .Two adults and two large grown sons.Clothes , bedding , towels , sport clothes .Its never ever ending as is housework. Cannot ever just 'sod ' any of it as it gets out of control so quickly.

Are the 3 other grown humans doing any of it?

@satsumaeater - someone reminded me up thread that not everyone has the same capacity washing machine. Also my current and last washing machines adjust the amount of water and electricity they use depending on the weight of load. Though I've had a nose when some of my teen and adult nephews have been doing their washing and they do full loads.

I thought it was weird when one of my brothers was newly married and first said he did his own washing - he then explained he didn't want his shirts and sports wear ruined.
His shirts have to be done in their own load as some are expensive, while the tech sports wear gets washed on its own load after every use on a special cycle using certain laundry detergent. Since I do some of the same sports as him my response was . Years later in a family conversation my other brothers and BILs agreed with him when one of my nephews was moaning. (Yes there is a theme here as I have nieces as well who are around the same ages.)

Hi OP! Not sure if it has been suggested as I havnt read the full thread in depth however I was in a similar situation to you. At home with 2 kids (plus pregnant with DC3) and my hubby works away half the year. I felt like I was tumbling down the rabbit hole unable to keep on of the ever mounting load. Whilst on another mumsnet thread I came across The Organsied Mum Method which I can quite honestly say has changed my outlook on keeping a home. It involves a routine of everyday jobs and a daily 30 min clean of set room per day. To me 30 mins were manageable in the context of my day and by the time I had done the plan a full week it became easier again to maintain.
Worth a read to save your sanity... it definitely saved mine.

Looking after young children in today's Western societies is a full-time job

What do you mean, AmyDowden?

That mums are expected to fill thir days educating babies by taking them to to massage, tai chi, baby signing etc classes?

It's never been easier to look after dc - or a house. Ready meals, washing machines, etc - we've never had it so easy.

Do you think bringing up a child in the 50s was easier?

The best way to get organised is to start list making. It has revolutionised my life, I barely forget anything anymore. It’s boring as sin but I literally write a day to day plan in the notes section of my phone otherwise there’s so many things that would slip my mind.

I’m also currently on mat leave with a 5 week old and have three primary aged DC. I do the vast majority around the house but that doesn’t mean DP doesn’t help and your OH should too.

Life is much easier now we all rely on machines to do pretty much everything for us. I was just thinking yesterday how the laundry is all done for me bar folding and putting it away and the dishes are washed for me. Those three machines are another thing that have revolutionised my life. I don’t hoover very often anymore but we mostly have wood floors so it’s not the end of the world. It’s a two minute job to run the mop around and take the bin out. I’ve got into a habit of doing things whilst in the middle of doing something else e.g I’ll need to go out to the garage for something so will take the bin out at the same time. Killing two birds is my lifes main motto.

I basically just keep on top of things. We split chores (I do more because I only work part time).

He does: dishes, hanging up dry laundry plus all bills, banking, car stuff etc.

I do: hoovering and mopping, dusting, laundry, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, online shopping, tidying up generally and probably 70-80% of the cooking.

We go to the market once a week for vegetables and meat, usually go together.

Knowing that we both have our areas makes it easier because it's really obvious who is slacking if it's not done.

It doesn't look like that much written down. Maybe it takes me 20 minutes a day, minus cooking and sometimes I'll have a massive clean for an hour.

Some stuff like cleaning the windows or whatever, honestly, I just don't do it, I can't do the outside of them because it's too high up and they're massive, so cleaning the inside seems pointless. If there's a finger mark on them, I'll wipe it off.

The key is to declutter, I think. My husband and I both hate clutter so we have almost nothing lol. Also, keeping all the cleaning stuff in the place where it's needed so you can just quickly eg wipe the mirrors as you're waiting for the bath to run etc. And also always doing something if you're waiting eg while you're waiting for the kettle to boil, wipe stuff.

I set a timer. 30 minutes max per day. I never do more than that because just fuck it, but at least some stuff is done.

"Just don't get this weird idea that in order for men and teens to learn about washing each person in the house needs to do their own. "

From puberty onwards, there's no way I would let someone else wash my dirty underwear. Much preferred to do my own washing and of course, I waited until I had a full load.

Also with things like cleaning the bathroom I will take the flash and kitchen roll upstairs whilst I go to pee and will blitz the bathroom quickly when I’m done. Another example of killing two birds. You just learn to fall into some sort of routine and with that find habits.

The best way to get organised is to start list making

I hate lists but this is so true.

Although I prefer to actually hand write my lists instead of using my phone. It sticks better for some reason.

We have a giant whiteboard in our kitchen - looks messy but it’s such a help. We have a yearly wall planner plus a weekly calendar so we all know what’s happening.

There’s also space for things we need to buy, plus reminders about homework, etc etc.

I also write down a daily housework thing I want to achieve eg laundry, vacuuming etc. Just a small target which helps me focus!

House admin. Sorting letters
Paying credit cards
Checking bank accounts
booking holidays
Getting paperwork done for holidays
Getting new quotes for until it’s bills so you do t pay more
Sorting car insurance mot tax etc
Theres loads!!

Oh come on! How often are you booking holidays? Car stuff is once a year. Most of this stuff can be done sitting on your phone watching tv in the evening.

Where did I say house admin needs to be done weekly but it does need to be done

I was just saying it’s another chore. I prob do an half to an hour a week with school stuff added.

OP I agree with you.

I think it’s partly a personality thing. Having a messy or dirty house gets me down and I struggle to relax when the place is a tip. This means I so the majority or tidying up in our house and struggled to stay on top of everything when on mat leave. It’s about finding the right balance that makes you happy but also being a little easier on yourself if you need a break.