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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you can send Christmas cards and give to charity?

164 replies

MargoLovebutter · 04/12/2018 10:40

I don't know why this fucks me off so much, but I've just received my second email of the season telling me that a friend won't be sending me a Christmas card because they are giving to charity this year.

WTAF have the two got to do with each other & why do I need to get a boasty email telling me of their charitable giving?

I'm sure I must be missing something other than the fact I think they can't be arsed to send cards. Enlighten me please.

OP posts:
GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 04/12/2018 10:42

No you are not being unreasonable I don't get it either

Zampa · 04/12/2018 10:44

YANBU

I also hate people saying that they don't send Christmas cards because of the environment. Card and paper can be recycled!

Huntawaymama · 04/12/2018 10:48

A lot of Christmas cards can't be recycled due to glitter etc on them. I used to love christmas cards but tbh this year I've got a 3yo and 6m (who wants to be held all the time) and I really don't think I can find the time to do cards.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 04/12/2018 10:50

I don't send cards, I never have. I can't be arsed to send them and I can't be arsed finding somewhere to display the ones sent to me.

I have a monthly charitable donation set up but that is nothing to do with Christmas cards, I find people who say this are just being lazy but don't want to admit it tbh.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 04/12/2018 10:52

Or even worse, they are lazy but want to make you think they are so amazing and generous!

overandunder9 · 04/12/2018 10:52

It’s about best use of money for lots of people. If cards would cost £10, I’d rather give that to charity than send a piece of paper to someone I can send an e-card to.

greendale17 · 04/12/2018 10:53

YANBU- I don’t get it either.

Caprisunorange · 04/12/2018 10:53

Yeah i don’t like this. Christmas cards are a low value item so it’s not even a decent donation to anyone, that’s what I don’t get. It’s just that people don’t want to do them

Biancadelriosback · 04/12/2018 10:54

Is it not so you don't get offended when you don't get one? If you spend £10 on a box of cards which will just go in the bin a week later, giving that £10 to charity makes sense tbh.

GhostSauce · 04/12/2018 10:54

I'm one of the people that annoy you! Grin

I don't send Christmas cards, I think they're a massive waste of money and paper.

I send a virtual card by email to everyone and confirm that in lieu of spending money on cards I have donated £20 to our local animal shelter and £20 to our local homeless night shelter. That's the money I would have spent posting and buying paper that goes in the bin after a month.

Feel free to be irritated with me!

WhoTFIsAlanBrazil · 04/12/2018 10:54

I do it.

I find cards utterly pointless so I choose to donate to charity whatever money I would have spent on them.

It's not boasting, I donate year round but never tell anyone other than at Christmas. The only reason I tell people is so they know not to expect a card.

I didn't even consider anyone could find it annoying tbh.

londonrach · 04/12/2018 10:57

Its a lazy way of saying cant be bothered to send them. Saying that i dont send them unless local or when grandparents were alive due to the cost of postage. I dont donate to charity instead as mentioned before we on a very limited budget so prefer to buy food for dd and us to eat instead and the pay for heating to keep her warm. I support charity by buying her toys from charity shops.

ThursdayLastWeek · 04/12/2018 10:57

The point is they can’t be arsed to do xmas cards.

And I don’t blame them, but some people think they’re important.
The charity gumf is to try and make it socially acceptable.

Personally I’m happy not to receive or have to write xmas cards so they don’t need to convince me with charitable donations.

howabout · 04/12/2018 10:59

YANBU

I cba to send Christmas cards and don't appreciate receiving them either. Most of my friends think I am a total Grinch on this basis alone. My approach to charitable giving is in line with George Michael's (my own private business)

Original poster
MargoLovebutter · 04/12/2018 11:00

So, those people who give to charity and send an email - why do you feel the need to tell your friends that you've given to charity?

Why don't you just say that you think sending cards is a waste of time and money, so you're sending an email?

That's fine with me - no issue with that at all. An email taking the time to wish me a happy Christmas is great (as long as it is not some impersonal mail merge with no thought for me at all). I just don't get the charity bit.

OP posts:
Youmadorwhat · 04/12/2018 11:00

Well I do neither technically no cards or charity contributions instead. I contribute when I want to not when deemed appropriate by society tbh. Never send cards for anything really. I prefer to pick up the phone and call people and say it in person.

overandunder9 · 04/12/2018 11:07

I say I’ve donated as a means of explaining why I haven’t sent a card, I guess.

My donation is always in memory of someone very significant; a few friends have commented that they like hearing of my donation as it gives them a warm reminder of the person I lost.

DontDoitDoris · 04/12/2018 11:18

Goodness OP you sound really spiteful!
I cant write much these days(pain) so send out an email insted.
Do you really think everyone CBA to send cards?
They might be exhausted with young children,ill or bereaved .

user49er · 04/12/2018 11:19

I wholeheartedly agree with you, how about giving some money to charity AND writing a few cards out!

user49er · 04/12/2018 11:20

Why not just say that then Doris?

greendale17 · 04/12/2018 11:25

**So, those people who give to charity and send an email - why do you feel the need to tell your friends that you've given to charity?

Why don't you just say that you think sending cards is a waste of time and money, so you're sending an email?**

^I compoletely agree

Halloweenallyearround · 04/12/2018 11:28

Do they not know you card by cards at a charity shop? And most supermarkets have cards that donate so if the cost to charity.
I only ever do the kids cards for school friend, don't really want loads of cards in my home.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 04/12/2018 11:37

We do it too. It's not the only donation we make to charity during the year by any stretch of the imagination. I do find the whole process of buying cards, writing them, schlepping to the post office and then spending a small fortune on stamps to send them totally pointless and excessive. So I don't bother. I take the £20 or whatever that I would have spent on cards and stamps, and choose a charity instead.

Last year it was the RNLI. This year we're still undecided. Probably the local hospice. I don't email people to tell them that's what i'm doing though.

Megan2018 · 04/12/2018 11:40

YANBU

I do both - I like cards and I always give to charity too.
I always think that the people that claim to give to charity are just lazy who probably don't actually put more than £1 in a random charity tin. I am always have tempted to ask to see the receipt for the charity they have donated to in lieu of the card. Tight, miserable, smug bastards.

overandunder9 · 04/12/2018 11:40

@halloween The percentage that the charity gets is really poor unless you buy directly from the charity. Even then, the charity doesn’t get the full amount as the production cost of cards is lost. I’d rather give knowing that every penny goes to the charity.

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