DSD pretending to be mum...

[Laci]

Not sure how to deal with this, or whether I need to deal with this at all...

I have a 6 week old baby. 7 year old DSD.

DSD is lovely and very, very clingy to her baby brother. She wants to hold him all the time (very helpful when I want to make a cuppa!) and I'm happy to leave him with her on the sofa for 2 minutes whilst I make a brew (the lounge is attached to the kitchen so she can shout to me if she has a problem).

The thing that is a bit odd to me is that when I'm out of the room, I can hear her saying 'I'm your mummy' and 'mummy is here' etc as if she is mum.

I didn't say anything to her. Should I just let her get on with this little mum fantasy? Or is it a bit odd and should I tell her to stop?

I'm a bit hormonal and know how ridiculous it is to be upset by a 7 year old pretending to be mummy but it just made me feel a bit... weird!

WWYD?

She’s only playing

She is 7. She is just playing pretend. I would just leave it. You are ascribing very adult and mature intentions on a very young child who is not plotting to replace you.

If you are that worried, just start saying what a special role big sister is and how she is the best big sister etc.

Totally normal for DSD. Give it a while and the novelty will wear off.

It's fine as long as she's only speaking and not trying to do any "mummy" things with the baby when you aren't there.

@continuallychargingmyphone is the really necessary? I'm just asking for a bit of advice. I'm 6 weeks pp and hormonal, sleep deprived and stressed. Sarcastic face not necessary...

Dear God OP. She's SEVEN. She's playing Mummies.

She's only playing at being mum. Let her enjoy it. The novelty will quickly wear off.

Well, it’s hard in the early days but surely you had a doll or something you played ‘mummy’ with as a little girl? Well maybe not, this is MN

This is what many little girls do. Mine are 10 and 6 and favourite game is ‘families’.

She’s playing. Give her little jobs to do to help. Get her a gift from her sister etc.

@continuallychargingmyphone to be honest, I really didn't, but I grew up in a very nasty abusive household and didn't have toys until I was taken away from all of that when I was 12 so probably not the norm.

I have a six week old baby too and my 5yo DD does similar when she is playing.

I wouldn't worry, it's just a game and she is imitating you. Kids learn from play.

Go easy on the OP. I am right where she is, haven't slept for about two weeks and finding issues with everything.

She's just copying you OP, try not to overthink it. What is it that you're worried about here exactly?

As pp have already pointed out, she’s 7 and playing a game with her new brother which is perfectly natural. You are hormonal so yes, being unreasonable. Can you get her a new baby doll to play with if you are bothered by it?

I'm really, really fragile at the moment so I beg that people are just a bit kind and try and take yourself back to the days of sleeping 3 hours a night, mastitis, hormones and a screaming child! I'm not thinking straight...

Are you making a big deal out of what a great big sister she’s being? Keep doing that and don’t worry about her playing mum. The baby is like the best doll ever and you’re all finding your feet.

Both my DSD and DSS refer to the one we have on the way as theirs. Other people do it too. We were buying it something yesterday and the woman asked DSD when her baby was due. We all had a chuckle.

I’m so pleased they’re as happy and excited as they are that the sense of ownership and protectiveness they both have is really special.

I don’t know how they’ll be when it’s actually here but I was obsessed with my baby sister and will be happy if they feel as delighted by this one. They’re just words and she’s only very young. Make lots of fuss about her being a wonderful sister and she’ll grow to embrace that.

Congratulations on your baby

I wouldn’t be worried- but I would “big up” her sister role for her. And give her lots of praise for her help- telling her what a great big sister she is etc. Congratulations.

It’s not odd at all it’s perfectly normal? Do you have pnd? Could you talk to your health visitor about your irrational thoughts especially due to your childhood you could probably do with some support/counselling.

@GreatDuckCookery I was just a bit worried that she is playing mummies and will try and do other mummy things like feed him etc. So was worried maybe I shouldn't even be leaving them alone for two minutes whilst I make tea or go to the loo etc.

I see where you're coming from op but I think it's harmless. She's a little girl playing pretend. It's actually really cute she loves him so much as she could easily be very jealous and bitter about it.

I had this issue but it was MIL that kept referring to herself as Mummy... "by accident". Which really gave me the rage, so it could be worse!

Yes I tell her what a brilliant job she's doing all the time. She's amazing!

You're 6 weeks pp. You're in that hormonal mama bear she is MINE desperate protection stage. I wanted to rip the face off of anyone who even held dd at that stage let alone anyone who showed the slightest signs of feeling possessive. cough mil cough
She's 7 and it's totally normal, once your hormones calm down and you get a bit more sleep you'll realise that :)

Early days are physically and mentally exhausting but you don't need to worry about DSD.

When I read the title I thought you were going to say something about a teenager taking baby for walks or something!

She's just playing OP.

Is DH around today to give you a break?
I remember the early days and they are tough. Take some time for yourself when you can, have a nap or a bath and things will seem better.

Congratulations on your new baby

She sounds lovely, op. Your baby will have a special bond with big sis. Sorry about your childhood