DSD pretending to be mum...

[Laci]

Not sure how to deal with this, or whether I need to deal with this at all...

I have a 6 week old baby. 7 year old DSD.

DSD is lovely and very, very clingy to her baby brother. She wants to hold him all the time (very helpful when I want to make a cuppa!) and I'm happy to leave him with her on the sofa for 2 minutes whilst I make a brew (the lounge is attached to the kitchen so she can shout to me if she has a problem).

The thing that is a bit odd to me is that when I'm out of the room, I can hear her saying 'I'm your mummy' and 'mummy is here' etc as if she is mum.

I didn't say anything to her. Should I just let her get on with this little mum fantasy? Or is it a bit odd and should I tell her to stop?

I'm a bit hormonal and know how ridiculous it is to be upset by a 7 year old pretending to be mummy but it just made me feel a bit... weird!

WWYD?

It’s just like how kids play with dolls - only to her mind, so much better.

As long as she isn’t going to try and do something that would be dangerous, it’s totally fine.

I think is very sweat just let her play being mummy, give it another two years and she will be ready to kill him because he touching her stuff!! Just keep telling her that’s it lovely she is getting on with the new baby!! Maybe get her a baby annabell for Christmas so she has her own baby to look after. Sometimes if you look on gumtree there are baby annabell things for sale prams cots changing table baby bouncers my granddaughter even has a baby annabell baby walker in fact she has everything u would need for a really baby for her annabell. Enjoy you lovely family and have a lovely Christmas

Very normal. Does she have a dolly she can play babies with? My older DC's friends like to play babies together with me and my baby. Taking them for walks in their peaks together, changing their nappies together, breastfeeding together 😂

If she's not got a dolly/pram maybe father Xmas could get her one?

Congratulations OP, it gets easier!

Sweet not sweat !! I’m a silly mow

She’s only playing, the baby will be like a wonderful doll to her. If she’s got any dolls she probably chatters to them in just the same way.

Get her to help you with simple things, it will be a way for the two of you to become close.

Ok so I'm being really stupid then. I'm just a bit fragile at the moment and finding my hormones and motherhood a bit overwhelming. Upset over stupid things etc.

Nurture that love!
There are 7 years between my DD and her step sister and they have a wonderful relationship. DSD is a cross between a sister figure and another mother figure. In fact DD announced the other day that she had “four mummies” - me, her step mum, her step sister and her step sister’s mum

I realise when they are a tiny baby that this might make you feel a bit wobbly, but their relationship will be a wonderful thing for both of them.

She's seven. I highly doubt it's a Hand that Rocks the Cradle situation. Be glad she's not jealous and distant

BUT you are six weeks postpartum and officially allowed to be a little bit nuts/hormonal.

@Laci that is totally understandable. The swirl of hormones and sleeplessness and adjusting is enormous. Be kind to yourself. Ignore the snipey comments. You are doing brilliantly. The fact your DSD has welcomed her sister not resented her means you are doing this right

OP have you talked to your HV or anyone about feeling fragile?

Look on her behaviour as a positive. There is often jealousy and bad behaviour when a new baby comes along whereas she appears to be loving and accepting.

Aww Laci, you sound exhausted. On the plus side, it’s so lovely that she adores her little sibling and is acting like a mini you. Take it as a compliment to what a good step mum you must be to her, when she wants to ‘mother’ her baby brother. 💐

There's 7 years between my oldest and youngest and the older one has been brilliant at helping - but I wouldn't leave them alone together unless 100% sure the 7 year wouldn't try to feed the baby or carry it around.

Awwww I think it's super cute, she obviously adores the baby.

Serious question.

Does anyone else find it quite sad the number of women that are quick to make sarcastic or nasty comments to vulnerable women looking for advice?

Yes @NeverTwerkNaked I will ignore. Thanks those who have given sensible advice.

I feel like a bit of a crazy woman atm!

I'm sure she's fine OP, lots of kids go through this when a baby arrives she's adjusting to the new roles all of you have. As others have said keep involving her, keep reassuring her what a special role she has as Big Sister and give some time for the novelty of new baby to wear off she'll be absolutely fine. No harm in keeping an eye on them, I'd try and keep her involved and you can use that as a good way of explaining e.g doing a nappy change letting her bring your mat or wipes etc... and let her see what you're doing, just reaffirm her role within that boundary and it'll come across naturally then that some things she's a vital part of and others she mustn't try to do. And be kind to yourself, it's hellish when you're in that fog of postpartum period and hormones can't decide whether you're Mary Poppins or Freddie Krueger, grab a brew and give them both a cuddle x

Honestly, my 2.5 yr old does the same with her little brother, and even offered to feed him for me after their bath, looking suddenly perplexed by her lack of boobs 😂. She’s just playing and it’s really totally normal, kids just mimic what they see and especially imitate what they admire. Agree that they are little weirdos of course! But truly, relax and just have a smile at the silliness. Congratulations on your new baby!

Laci - you would have had different responses if you posted in a different topic! AIBU is designed to be a bit robust/argumentative so people are not kind or gentle here.
Why not report your op and ask to be moved to parenting?

When I say I leave her, it's literally a doorway between us and we are engaged in conversation the whole time. I would never leave them out of earshot until she was much older.

Oh, OP, you really are not stupid, just understandably very fragile.

It must be especially hard if you didn’t experience all this from a child’s point of view.

It’s lovely that your DSd is so happy with her brother, but best keep an eye out all the time because 7 year olds are still very young.

I hope things get gradually easier for you.

My DSD is a similar age and does the same with both her younger siblings. She does sometimes overstep the mark in telling them off or getting involved in the discipline however, so that's the only thing to be wary of in the future.

I think that's normal - she is playing. Pleased she has taken to her little sibling so quickly!

I don’t think you’re being stupid - just protective

She's definitely playing but with a real life doll. It's perfectly normal and lovely that she's wants to be close to her brother.