Aibu to hate the girls can't be gamers stereotype

[coolmum223]

So I personally am a gamer. I'm not talking candy crush on my phone I'm talking uncharted, tomb raider and assassins creed on my PS4. But I've gotten a lot of hate on this at work saying girls shouldn't be playing games and what example am i setting to my daughter. The scary thing is this is women saying this.
Now I personally feel I'm setting a pretty decent example to my Daughter by showing her that men aren't the only ones who can play video games and that women can be just as good at them or better (because I always dominate at battlefield I'm not kidding)
so Aibu to think there's nothing wrong with women gaming and that women should feel free to do it if they want to/can

Hi.
I'm LotF.
I'm 35 with 4 children and I'm addicted to Fortnite and Red Dead 2.

(My daily challenge for today is to place top 12 in squads 3 times which seeing as my squad won 4 out of 6 squad games last night is frustrating!)

Gamer family here.
I used to make a lot of money playing one game in particular and making mods for it, I give not one shiny shite if being female means I can't or shouldn't.
We enjoy family gaming here with gusto... although I still hate fortnite.

I’m 42 and currently loving Red Dead Redemption 2. I’ve always been a gamer, always will be a gamer

JacquesHammer
I'm talking about the OP saying her being a gamer is being a role model. I don't see people doing their chosen hobby is being a role model. It's just people doing their hobby.
If something doesn't require genitals to do it then it's for men or women and that's that as far as I can see. Doing a stereotypical male hobby is no more being a role model than someone enjoying needlecraft. Being a real gamer is no better or more role modely than being into candy crush.

DH games. I dont. Neither of us is more a role model for our chosen hobbies.

If something doesn't require genitals to do it then it's for men or women and that's that as far as I can see

You do know a great many people don't see it that way? Surely you know that?

I don't agree that its "just a hobby" - nothing exists in a vacuum and things can give positive messages (a) without a song and dance and (b) whether its a fun activity or an onerous one!

I'm thinking perhaps that maybe 'gamer' should be used for those who actually make a living out of it and those who play games recreationally are just ... 'people who like to play games'

... but obviously YNBU, carry on doing what you enjoy

Some people buy into stereotypes. That's obvious (just like the idea in the OP of I'm a woman who games but not candy crush, I do real games aka not games typically aimed at women but the stereotypically male dominated ones)

Of course a range of things can send positive messages. I just find it unusual to hear anyone describe them doing their hobby as being a role model. (You wouldn't hear a woman enjoying baking talk of how them baking is being a role model so why anything else?)

DH and I share the mental load for house tasks and doesn't utter the phrase 'for you' when doing chores. He's just being a reasonable person. I enjoy doing weights in the gym and that's more male dominated. I would find it most odd for either of us to describe getting on with our lives as being a role model. It's just living.

I was thrilled when I played the new Lego game (dc villains) and realised they now have male AND female goons to fight you!
More women do play games than men in official studies but they don't consider themselves gamers as it's the sims or candy crush or other Facebook games. But they are spending far more on gaming than men with those games. So ignoring that market is daft!

I shouldn’t really care what people think but it does piss me off when people assume the PS4 is my husbands. He’s never touched it!

MaisyPops, my feeling is that the role model bit comes from people who enjoy hobbies that don't fit gender stereotypes admitting it and talking about it to friends and colleagues.Some reinforcement of gender stereotypes does come from people keeping quiet.I've had a who,e long conversation with my own sister ffs about her children's social lives and how she provides the gaming environment for the boys but the girls just want to be in the bathroom doing makeup.Because they are girls.Faced with me saying quite jokingly "what about the girls who'd like to game" I got - no,girls don't want to do that stuff.
Well I do - you know I do!
In a reasonable world it wouldn't matter, but my experience is that many people assume because I'm female I'll be interested in lots of things I'm not,and won't like lots of things I do.You are a role model following your interests,it shouldn't matter but I think both boys and girls need to see adults of both sexes enjoying a range of interests so they learn that its ok,whatever you like.

I

Gender doesn’t come into it for me, male or female, if you spend hours of your life playing video games I’ll probably think you’re a big of a loser. Sorry! I just don’t get it at all. I also hate the way it’s been given a title ‘gamer’ to try and make it sound respectable. Let’s face it, it’s playing games.
I know, I just don’t get it, and it’s amazing blah blah, but I can’t help it!

I completely agree. I always get a "oh really??" Reaction when I say I play Games, makes me feel like I'm trying to show off when that couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't even mention I play games to other girls because I know they think I'm weird!

I've always played games, one of the benefits of growing up with an older brother I suppose!

Gender doesn’t come into it for me, male or female, if you spend hours of your life playing video games I’ll probably think you’re a big of a loser. Sorry! I just don’t get it at all

What’s to get though? Different people enjoy different things.

With the way the games industry is growing, I wouldn’t be so quick to write people who enjoy games as “losers”.

@ibblebibbledibble so spending hours of your life staring blankly at a tv screen watching eastenders and I'm a celebrity, offer more benefits than playing an interactive game with friends does?

Because I guarantee you that people who hate on gamers watch TV on a regular basis!

ibblebibbledibble, so if the children are in bed and you don't feel like, or want to read, don't like knitting etc, what should you do?

Or why is it worse than reading, watching television, doing non essential crafts?

Since being a nerd has come into its own in recent years, I couldn't give a monkey's who thinks I'm a loser! Personally I would 10x rather be gaming of an evening than standing in a grimy club with blaring music. I sound 90

@ibblebibbledibble I gotta say I would never generalise a whole group of people as losers without knowing them. In fact I doubt I would judge people like that full stop.

But then I’m a nice person.

I really hate the attitude of gaming being unworthy, being a 'lesser' hobby than say watching tv or reading. A good game with a good story is an interactive film, essentially, a choose your own adventure with participation instead of sitting and staring. I love going and finding the stories, yesterday in Red Dead I found a lonely snowcovered house with a sad story of a champion skater injured, and some broken skates. In fallout 4 there is a whole ministory finding a girls diary and reading through her life. Yet people see it as uncultured, simply shooting and killing.

I've been kicked from fireteams and raidteams because I'm female. I've had raids where the second I make a mistake I'm mocked due to my sex, whereas the male players get away with worse. I used to stream on Twitch, as in sit and play for an audience, and had some horrific abuse for it. I've never once used any form of cam, it's usual to see gamers with a facecam showing their reactions as they play but I never did yet I still got called fat and ugly! I've modded for a lot of female streamers, and some of the sexual language and abuse aimed at them. It's horrendous. One thing that is clear time and time again, if a male gamer makes a mistake/loses/misses something it's a mistake, if a female does it's because they are a girl.

Also the term 'girl gamer' annoys the hell out of me. No one is ever a boy gamer, they are a gamer and we are the weird subset. Oh well, back to finishing off Red Dead before starting Odyssey or maybe picking up Sims again or finishing my epic sky city in Minecraft. So many game genres and types of play, all lumped together by people who don't get it.

I've never had this to be fair, nobody has ever said I shouldn't enjoy gaming because I'm a woman. I have however had age comments (29) that I'm too old.

I'm currently bra-free settling in to a Red Dead 2 marathon on my wall projected PS4 screen, and enjoyed a session of Dungeons and Dragons last night!

Gender doesn’t come into it for me, male or female, if you spend hours of your life playing video games I’ll probably think you’re a big of a loser.

Please tell us what your hobbies are so we can judge whether they’re acceptable or not.

With the way the games industry is growing, I wouldn’t be so quick to write people who enjoy games as “losers”.

One aspect of gaming is addiction, though - and this is not gender specific.

As a teacher in a boys' comprehensive I was very concerned by boys whose gaming habit kept them up long after they should have been asleep at night. And when the latest "in" game hit the shelves you'd really notice the impact in the classroom - lots of sleepyheads struggling to focus.

When we moved into our house I had to go next door to speak to the parents whose 15 year old son had kept us awake all through the night with his online gaming: we could hear him shouting through the wall into our bedroom.

So gamers with kids, of whatever gender, do be aware of the potential dangers of gaming addiction.

I’ve received more criticism for being an adult gamer than a girl gamer. This has mainly come from women who don’t game acting like it’s something their partners should grow out of. I’m also told that they don’t have time for things like that, with a tone very much suggesting that they’re too mature for it. These are people who do have time for Coronation Street and X Factor. Each to their own...I like games and I’d rather spend that time on my xbox with my husband.

People over 40-45 tend to not really "get" gaming as a subculture because they missed the boat in terms of riding that particular tech wave.

Do me a favour!
I have been.gaming since ye olde Amiga were popular. Used to regularly play online or co-op then with a bunch of guys i knew or on multiplayer games like Quake. Also did rpg with them.

Dont online as much now but i have a stack of xbox and pc games i dip into and lose hours on when i get time.
I played games with my kids for years too.
I love a bit of cod deathmatch but its not the only game around you know. (Big Skyrim fans in this house😀 )

Rather be doing that than watching soaps on tv, cos we all know how realistic they are dont we?

And to other posters Nobody has to 'get it' we all like different things. Me gaming doesnt affect you one bit so keep your uninformed judgements to yourselves.

Gaming can be a great community, making friends all over the world and also a learning tool for i.t. my teen has learned a lot from online gaming.

As for the idea that girls dont like gaming. If they never get the chance due to misogynist ideas that girls should only do 'nice girly things' like caring about thier appearance, taking selfies, only discussing 'girl' things and not being seen to be competative they never will know if they like it or not.
Games make you use your brain where you need to make decisions based on consequences, quick thinking and sometimes yes killing things, also making friends, having new experiences. Not all games are just violent for the sake of it. A good game has many levels of story and makes you think, immerses you in that world for a while like a good book or film.

The whole 'girls don't like gaming' is proof positive that people still expect girl's to be passive and always 'nice' and not make thier own decisions as to what they like as its not conforming to someones idea of 'femininity'.
Stuff that.

I’m jealous of everyone playing Red Dead 2! Don’t get much time for gaming these days, still working my way through Far Cry 5.