Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be on the floor devastated

281 replies

TheSheepofWallSt · 01/12/2018 20:57

That my only-just two year old has started to call me “mum” not “mummy”?

Happy to be handed a grip, because I’m ridiculously (very unusually for me) sad over this!

OP posts:
shirleyschmidt · 02/12/2018 18:36

No need to feel devastated - he's only 2, just bring it back to mummy! My 3 year old occasionally calls me mum, I just don't answer to it and correct her. No big deal. I don't mind Mum as she gets older but not yet. Family and DH call me mummy in front of her which probably helps.

JudasPrudy · 02/12/2018 18:41

Seriously? There are parents out there with disabled children who would do anything to hear their child call them mum.

ToftyAC · 02/12/2018 18:41

@bumdisease
Yep, my 16 yo calls me by my first name. It’s my name so it’s his right I suppose. He lives with his dad but we took him abroad this year and I think it was a declaration of freedom & independence. He doesn’t call his dad “dad” anymore either - they have nicknames for each other.

CrisPbacon · 02/12/2018 18:42

I'm Mummy. I never wanted to be mum but now Im also Grandma Im past caring - so long as they care about me a bit. It all seemed so important and now so irrelevant. My kids are aged 23-35. But I know that when discussing me they all refer to me as "The Mothership" which just makes me laugh ... as they think I don't know. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

busyhonestchildcarer · 02/12/2018 18:43

If your so bothered about this I wonder how you will manage the important stuff? Just know that he is clearly learning useful language skills and is showing he has his own mind too so be proud !

Desmondo2016 · 02/12/2018 18:44

My boys used mum from a young age. My adult daughter still uses mummy accidentally sometimes!

purplevamp · 02/12/2018 18:48

My kids are 27, 17 and 16 and my youngest still calls me Mummy. When my eldest son called me Mum for the first time it sounded weird!

Iseveryusernametaken · 02/12/2018 18:52

My DD went through a phase of calling me by my first name when she was 2. DS did this to his dad as well at the same age. They are now 4 and 8 and we're back to mummy and daddy.

Callaird · 02/12/2018 18:54

My just 2 niece calls me Tortoise! She can say Aunty perfectly clearly and knows it’s me if anyone says ‘give this to Aunty ’ but if they point at me and say ‘who’s that?’ She says Tortoise!!

So it could be worse (although I secretly love it and don’t mind her calling me it!)

Nats1606 · 02/12/2018 18:58

My 5 year old went through a phase of this at around 3 and I was gutted but I’m pleased to say it seems to have passed. He calls us a mixture of mummy/daddy and mum/dad depending on which way the wind is blowing now but it doesn’t bother me anymore. He also went through a very independent phase at the same time and wouldn’t walk with me or hold my hand but is now very affectionate and loving so I think it’s a bit of an age-related independence manoeuvre. It was for us I think anyway.

Charley50 · 02/12/2018 18:58

My DS is 15 and still calls me mummy (when he isn't ignoring me). Gotta say I love it!

petmad · 02/12/2018 19:10

my youngest is is in her twenties and calls me mother hen when i text i call her chick also when they were younger they all went through a phase of calling us paul and lisa it didnt bother us.

Rockhopper81 · 02/12/2018 19:29

Cardiganqueen71

I am definitely not upper class (or anywhere near it), but I am educated and definitely know the difference between ‘I’ and ‘me’, thanks very much. I still consider ‘what?’ to be rude (as it’s generally said in a snippy tone), and if that pegs me as anything other than upper class, so much the better.

Not sure what this obsession with appearing to be upper class is. ‘Upper class’ and ‘educated’ are not synonymous either.

Nameynamechangeforthis · 02/12/2018 19:38

My mum in particular insisted we called our parents 'Mummy' and 'Daddy'. Only wanted cards with 'Mummy' on etc. 'Mum' was common apparently. I absolutely loathed it and it makes me cringe.. consequently I rarely address them as anything and they get wildly innapropriate greetings cards from 'their (nearly 40 year old) little girl'.

It feels snobbish and controlling to me. My Ds7 calls me Mummy but DD4 prefers Mum. Both (mainly) warm my heart :)

Original poster
TheSheepofWallSt · 02/12/2018 19:39

Holy bloody fucksticks.

For the Pardon Police:
Debretts has fuck all to say on the matter, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re all insufferable snobs, and worse, snobs about something that the actual poshos don’t give a shit about... so therefore must assume you’re not poshos who KNOW these things, you’re actually, likely horribly middleclass and this is a bashing administered to make you feel superior to the obviously and admittedly working class Sheep on AIBU.
Excuse me if this has been impolite but you’re all absolutely off your bloody rockers.

Re: mummy/ mum

Yes I’m sad but as I said upthread, I’m a person given to hyperbole. I wasn’t on the bloody floor, I was getting on with life- and feeling a bit miserable that my one and only “baby” isn’t really a baby any more. The rest was, as the kids say, just noise to “tell a story”. I suspect those who have trouble grasping this will be the same people who tell very long, very slow stories about parking and umbrellas, and deviate not one iota from the gods honest truth. Let me be the first to tell you- your stories are shit.

And finally- yes I’m very very sorry that there are some parents who would give everything to hear their child say mum- but we cannot- I WILL not- live a life defined by hierarchy of misery. I don’t jump on every relationship thread to say “ah but you should count yourself lucky to be IN a relationship- I’m a single mother with no help at all - id give anything to have a husband, any husband, as long as there was another adult human in the house”. If I did, I would be rightly flamed.

Now - there you are. I hear all of you, all of your views are valid, some
Of you are lovely, some of you are cunt, and I’ve taken my kicking over fucking PARDON of all things- and this is my jolly working class middle finger back.

And for those who can’t tell tone- this was delivered with a bit of grump, a wallop of frustration, and a wry smile.

Toot toot Grin

OP posts:
Beverley71 · 02/12/2018 19:41

I hate ‘what?’ It’s an incredibly rude replacement for pardon when you have misheard someone. My 4 year old calls us mum and dad and our 9 year old still says mummy and daddy and I agree it’s very sad, it makes them seem too grown up somehow

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/12/2018 19:43

There are parents out there with disabled children who would do anything to hear their child call them mum.

I love Mumsnet.

Original poster
TheSheepofWallSt · 02/12/2018 19:44

Thank you @Beverley - I’m responding to you because “thank you Beverley” seems like a wonderfully Alan Partridge end, to my Alan Partridge-esque rant

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 02/12/2018 19:47

I've never used the term 'pardon' in my life. Not because of some snobbery thing, but just because no one round here really uses it.

OP, and I think your recent update was fabulous. I like your middle finger response and I agree that we can't all exist in a hierarchy of misery. Smile

Mummyshark2018 · 02/12/2018 19:48

OP I get where you're coming from. Yes it's not the end Of the world and there is worse things to be called!
Most Irish people call their parents mummy and Daddy even when they're adults. Mum/dad imo is too formal/ mature. My dc called me mum a few times and I shortened her name and asked her if she liked it - in a lighthearted way obv! She didn't and now I'm mummy again Smile

constantlywingingit · 02/12/2018 19:49

My eldest had a habit of calling me by my first name instead of mum/mummy at the age of 1, for nearly a year! Angry

In the end I got irritated so stopped responding to anything other than mum/mummy.

SmileEachDay · 02/12/2018 19:49

Sheep

I applaud you for your use of hyperbole.

Which the children in my class insist on pronouncing hyper-bowl, god love ‘em.

Hope your mummy is ok re cat.

Carriecakes80 · 02/12/2018 19:50

My 20 yr old calls me Mummy....usually when he wants something and is trying to be cute. I know how bad his feet smell now though so it really doesn't work....lol

Don't feel too glum, they're born, they get cuter, they get bigger, they get dafter, they get funnier, then they get ignorant, then they get obnoxious, then argumentative, then realise how much you do for 'em as they begin to hit adult-hood,, and you get your baby back! ;-) lol.

As for Pardon instead of what, I much prefer that, and believe me luvs, I'm a Bucks Ducks, and I ain't posh, I just think it sounds much nicer!
Even us poorer Mumsnetters who don't have cleaners and three holidays a year can afford manners ;-) x

FairyFlake45 · 02/12/2018 19:55

YANBU. I would not have wanted to be Mum to my 2yr old! My daughter is nearly 17 and still calls me Mummy which I’m quite surprised at, but thrilled! She will still take hold of my hand if we’re out shopping together too.

dragonara53 · 02/12/2018 20:02

I've always been mam to my kids sometimes they'll call me mum but mainly it's mam. To grandkids I'm grandma not nan, nanna, nanny or granny.