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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be on the floor devastated

281 replies

TheSheepofWallSt · 01/12/2018 20:57

That my only-just two year old has started to call me “mum” not “mummy”?

Happy to be handed a grip, because I’m ridiculously (very unusually for me) sad over this!

OP posts:
OutPinked · 03/12/2018 09:05

Mum isn’t so bad but my eldest is almost nine and I’m still Mummy to him. I would gently steer him back that way if it bothers you so much.

TimeWoundsAllHeals · 03/12/2018 09:08

Well if the other thread is anything to go by “mum” is low class. You might as well buy a house in a nice cheap area with gangs and a sink school because it’s clear your little darling isn’t going to amount to anything :p

Jeanclaudejackety · 03/12/2018 09:22

One of my cousins likes her Yr 7 child to call her mummy still and it makes the child sound odd. I'm sure they're just doing it to save her feelings, they live in a Mam area

itbemay · 03/12/2018 09:25

My daughter called my DH, her dad,by his first name for a while, we all thought it was hilarious, including him!

Libloo · 03/12/2018 09:28

Hi this is my first time writing anything on. Line so please excuse if I'm in the rong place, I don't wish to offend anyone, I am a Christian and have attended most of the churches in a 20mile radius of my home, I live alone and and it is lovely having Christian friends , now I know the Bible says give where you are fed I know Fellow Christians out there will know what I mean when I say that, however while I am having the fellowship I crave I know I'm not being spiritually satisfied by the churches around me ( I get teaching on line which I find more fulfilling In my following Jesus) but I do feel guilty not giving to my local church, as I don't have the money to give to both, any Christians out there that can advise on this . Thank you.

Whisky2014 · 03/12/2018 09:30

Nope.

WickedWitchOfTheWest83 · 03/12/2018 09:39

Go away Libloo. You are definitely in the “rong” place...

BlueStockingUK · 03/12/2018 09:40

If a child say's " what" when you're calling their name it's rude. End of.

itsonlysubterfuge · 03/12/2018 10:20

My 6 year old calls me Mom, Mommy, and by my first name.

HauntedPencil · 03/12/2018 10:54

I don't like pardon, I think it's overly fussy.

There isn't a right or wrong on that but I'm pretty sure ending sentences with End Of isn't particularly polite either 😂

Echobelly · 03/12/2018 10:55

We loved it when our kids started calling us 'Mum' and 'Dad' (around probably age 6 in their cases, tho), but I know it's very emotive for some people

MarshaBradyo · 03/12/2018 10:56

I’m sure you can change this

My dc have used it on odd occasions (for a laugh as they know I don’t like it) they always switch back

Turnitaroundagain · 03/12/2018 11:01

Will probably start calling you mummy again soon....but yeah I know it feels wrong and like they’re growing up too fast, probably heard someone at school saying it and is trying it out.

BlueStockingUK · 03/12/2018 11:04

We aren't discussing the end of sentences though are we? Hmm

HauntedPencil · 03/12/2018 11:25

Well I was.

margesimpson40 · 03/12/2018 11:27

Tempted to say ... The cat died cause you wouldn't call me mummy ..... But that's the asd in me ... There's always the lived on a farm lie. But seriously there's the truth ... I'm so sorry but 'cat' was very old and went to heaven ... But then that's bullshit and horrible. Fuck it lie ... Cat ran away with his friends to have fun but very soon one of his friends will come to stay instead. Best I can do.

Original poster
TheSheepofWallSt · 03/12/2018 12:53

@TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers

I’ve been in psychotherapy for two years- if there’s ONE thing I’m pretty confident I’m nailing with this parenting lark, it’s an awareness of DS’ agency, his personality, his individuality and maintaining a healthy balance between his needs and mine. (My DM was emotionally unavailable with hints of narcissism during my childhood.) I can talk for days (hyperbole again for those amongst us with “tone awareness” challenges) about healthy parenting as a victim of childhood abuse, Bowlbys Attachment Theory and Vygotsky

Ultimately my mothering style boils down to acknowledgement of my needs, and prioritisation of his.

So here I am on mumsnet acknowledging my needs- and at home, I’m prioritising his, by saying nothing about his calling me “mum”- but reaffirming our connection with lots of cuddles, storytimes and play, in case this is an example of his attempt to “work through” his burgeoning understanding of the differentiation between and the plurality of our “selves” (grammar pedants- selves/self is used correctly here).

If anyone would like to dig deeper into psychoanalytic therapies and parenting, do DM me. I’m quite passionate about it.

OP posts:
doyouneedtoknow · 03/12/2018 13:06

Why would someone say pardon when you call their name? I agree that pardon is for burps/farts and if you don't hear what someone said

SoniaShoe · 03/12/2018 13:21

My 2 year old has just started calling my by my actual name! I think it's hilarious and sounds very cute. It's because he hears adults referring to me like that, he's just copying them. He stands at the bottom of the stairs calling my name (like his dad does!).

I'm sure it's just a phase. My 6 year old still calls me mummy although refers to me as 'My mum' to her friends!

MadCow999 · 03/12/2018 14:18

Just continue your way, this I only a short term thing picked up at nursery. Personally though, I would make a point of asking his carers to use your terminology to gently reinforce the good manners you’re teaching him.

MsLexic · 03/12/2018 16:23

goodness me , what a carry on about nothing.

Bluewidow · 03/12/2018 18:17

Thank yourself lucky- my son always called his dad by his first name. Never dad, daddy just his first name. No idea why? Just always did it. Used to infuriate my husband but there was no changing him.

Original poster
TheSheepofWallSt · 03/12/2018 18:27

@MsLexic

The irony of your posting, in that case, will I’m sure be entirely lost on you...

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 03/12/2018 19:57

Wish my son would call me mum. He learnt ho ho ho today but can't get mum or mummy

MsLexic · 03/12/2018 21:37

TheSheepofWallSt

You lurch between drama and obfuscation like an expert Wink
Certainly you have had the audience's attention.