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Original poster

Flaunting on facebook when your DH is awaiting trial

148 replies

MuseumofInnocence · 01/12/2018 18:56

Facebook, I know, work of the devil ... I have an acquaintance whose husband was arrested for drugs trafficking recently. They're out on bail and awaiting trial which could result in a few years in prison as it was in the papers and he was caught red handed. Their facebook is full of pictures of their happy family and their holidays. Their facebook had always been full of travel shots in lovely locations.

I don't think many people know about it as while it was in the local papers, he was arrested a long way from their local area. But there's no doubt it's him.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is kind of shameless?

OP posts:
RebelWitchFace · 01/12/2018 19:30

The thing is.. the damage done wouldn't change in any way if her FB was barren or full of apologies or deleted or flaunting the wealth.
It makes absolutely no difference account what SHE does on HER FB, except to people that like to feel all high and mighty, righteous arbitrators

You want her to show she feels shame in a way you want her to.

Original poster
MuseumofInnocence · 01/12/2018 19:31

I'll admit I am ascribing shame to a drugs dealer and his family who seemed to lead a life of privilege, and I'm ascribing it to his wife as well. She must be trying to put on a brave face.

OP posts:
bertielab · 01/12/2018 19:32

Innocent until proven guilty

AamdC · 01/12/2018 19:33

If hes awaiting trial than he hasent bern convicted of anything yet, he might not be convicted, my dh faced a trial a few years ago for a crime he did not commif and i know he didnt commit it because i was there it didnt stop the finger pointing or the local news paper twisting everything, thankfilly it was all resolved on rhe first day of the trial with the CPS accepting he was telling the truth.

NameChanger22 · 01/12/2018 19:34

Nice things happen to bad people and vice versa all the time. It pisses me off too. Why can't karma be real?

CoughLaughFart · 01/12/2018 19:35

I'm assuming the lovely holidays have come about because of the money made from drugs trafficking. How lovely for them.

You're assuming an awful lot.

Coldshoulders · 01/12/2018 19:35

Is this really about him selling the drugs or the fact they are going on expensive holidays that's the issue here? If convicted he will be charged and be given a punishment at court I don't see what the problem is seriously feeling this is more about her posting a nice life style which is annoying u and u can always unfriend so you don't need to see it. Drug dealers do it for the money so why u surprised they appear to have money for holidays?

RebelWitchFace · 01/12/2018 19:37

There's a few options :
1.knew and doesn't give a shit ,enjoys the lifestyle and is as blinkered to the damage caused as he is

  1. Suspected something, but the lifestyle is nice so buried head in sand. Which she's still doing.
  2. Had no idea but now feels the need to keep with with her previous style of posting so people don't cotton on.
  3. She's under his control and her FB is an extension of that, simply to sustain his family man,perfect family etc image.
minisoksmakehardwork · 01/12/2018 19:37

I suspect all the photos etc are to show what a nice, normal person he is. What a nice, normal family they have. A bit of burying their head in the sand maybe?

Plenty of people flaunt themselves all over Facebook go show people the kind of life they wish they had. A little critical thinking goes a long way.

onalongsabbatical · 01/12/2018 19:37

But their facebook page probably has very little directly to do with how they actually feel, OP. It’s not evidence that they don’t feel shame. It’s like everyone else’s, it’s a complex mix of communication, front, playing, showing off, self-deception, etc etc. I find this very judgemental. It may well be a way they have of keeping their spirits up while they face this unpleasant future. It’s no real indication of whether they feel any shame or not.

Innocentconglomeration · 01/12/2018 19:38

He's innocent until proven guilty, and it wasn't her that was caught.

Unfriend her, if it's bothering you.

ragged · 01/12/2018 19:40

I don't understand what is shameless. Who wants to put all their crappy life details on FBk. If they want to share only the good times, who can blame them?

You sound like you want to vilify them. The court judgement won't be enough for you. Maybe a red letter would make you happy.

Flaunting on facebook when your DH is awaiting trial
Caprisunorange · 01/12/2018 19:41

An old school friend was convicted for drug dealing last year (quite serious- production) and recently he was given a recovery order by the court for over £200k. I know that the crown want to recover costs, and prevent the spending of proceeds of crime but it does strike me as a bit odd that the government take drug money, legitimise it and put it back into the system “clean”

Original poster
MuseumofInnocence · 01/12/2018 19:42

I'll admit that of course I am judging them. I'm not a big fan of drugs dealers. I've had friends and family - my cousin die of drugs, and that's the real crime here. I am being judgemental and not being very "Christian". Definitely need to unfriend.

OP posts:
Original poster
MuseumofInnocence · 01/12/2018 19:45

I also see that they're probably devastated inside. They have a child and if sent to prison, that will be really tough on them. I'm being uncharitable and judgemental.

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 01/12/2018 19:46

A few years ago a colleague of mine got very aerated about Fifty Shades of Grey. She told us all how disgusting it was and that she was horrified that people would read such a thing.

In the end, we pushed her to actually read it herself before judging. She did, and told us all it was horrendous. She then said ‘It was so filthy I had to read it twice to make sure it was real!’

Do you perhaps keep this woman on your friend list just to make sure she’s as shameless as you so clearly enjoy believing she is?

DistanceCall · 01/12/2018 19:49

So you think FB is an accurate reflection of people's lives?

Grow up.

Bunnyfuller · 01/12/2018 19:51

If he was caught red handed he would have been remanded waiting for trial, apart from a small proportion of very specific cases where they can’t immediately confirm what drug it is.drug dealers are a massive flight risk and it carries a serious sentence. He wouldn’t be out jollying on hols.

I call bs

Original poster
MuseumofInnocence · 01/12/2018 19:56

It is 100% true. There was a big bail attached, so I assume he is not assumed to be a flight risk.

Of course FB isn't indicative of how people feel, but there's also something about it that is about seeking affirmation.

OP posts:
MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 01/12/2018 20:13

I think you sound jealous of their wealth and lifestyle.

I hate facebook and many people mask the grim realities of their real lives on it.

I hate people that profit from dangerous drugs too.

Bitterprisonwife · 01/12/2018 20:23

Well if it makes you feel better soon the Facebook will be full of newspaper articles and people’s horrendous opinions and judgments which the person who commited the crime deserve . The family’s do not especially the child .

Redactio · 01/12/2018 20:23

If he is a drug dealer he is scum. These people make a living out of other peoples misery and addiction. I'm surprised that there are people on this thread who seem to thinlk that it's OK (MyShiny for example).

WorraLiberty · 01/12/2018 20:24

Of course he's not convicted, but at least from the reporting (arrested with drugs to the value of hundreds of thousands of pounds in his van), it looks quite a clear cut case.

Unless he didn't know they were in there?

I really hope you never get picked for jury service.

SadOtter · 01/12/2018 20:25

Are the photos very much him being all smiley loving dad by any chance?

My friends dad suddenly started making sure he was seen at lots of events, very much the doting father routine when he was about to go on trial for fraud it was in the hope of making himself out to be a good person that had fallen on hard times and acted out of desperation, he thought the judge might go a bit easier on him that way.

TrippingTheVelvet · 01/12/2018 20:27

You are not coming across well here OP. You sound so bloody smug towards someone who's facing the prospect of being a single parent to a young child. Horrid.