To wonder what the hell I have done to deserve this

[Shitshitshitshit]

Going through my 6th miscarriage. SIXTH.

What the fuck have I done to deserve such a shitty hand? Why is God doing this to me. I am not a horrible person. I am kind, I don't hurt anyone. I don't deserve this.

This is breaking me and I don't want to keep going. I want to give up. On life in general.

I hate myself and my stupid failing body. I want to be someone else.

There’s nothing I can say to make it feel any better but I empathise enormously and am so sorry you’re going through this.

I'm so sorry op. Has your doctor given any reason as to why this is happening?

Oh god I'm so sorry

Oh you poor poor woman. This is just so unfair and unkind. I’m so sorry

I have a balanced translocation. The advice is to 'keep going'. I don't know if I can, I'm not strong enough.

This is years of my life I've spent torturing myself mentally and putting strain on my partner who has to bear the load for both of us because he's stronger than me. I just want to do him a favour and leave.

Oh u poor thing.. must be heartbreaking..
have u spoken to a doctor?..

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

What an absolutely heartbreaking situation for yourself and your partner.

Be kind and patient with yourself. Don’t make any rash decisions.

You don't deserve this, you really don't. It's so shit.

So sorry heartbreaking and totally unfair

I feel awful because I'm so angry. I just hate everyone who's had it so easy. I don't want to see my friends who get to look at a positive pregnancy test and know they'll have a baby in 9 months. I hate them for it.

I am so sorry. No wonder you are feeling angry. It is so unfair.

Just let yourself feel like this for now and work through it.

I lost two babies, one very late on in pregnancy so I know how awful you're feeling, it's so distressing. I found it helpful to think of it as just a random thing, you've done nothing to deserve it at all, nature is imperfect and awful things happen as a result. After all, if you won the lottery you wouldn't be saying you'd won it because you're a good person. Why would you say you've had misfortune because you've done something to deserve it?

And please don't blame yourself, it really isn't your fault.

It's definitely worth getting checked out. I know of someone who lost multiple babies and all she needed was to pop an aspirin every day for her pregnancies to progress.

There is hope, hang in there and please give yourself a break from the self blame. Try to see yourself in the same way you would if it were happening to a friend, you wouldn't blame her would you? Be kind to yourself, don't turn that sorrow and anger at the unfairness of life inwards because it's not your fault and you deserve better.

I wish you all the best for getting through this and future pregnancies. Sending you a virtual hug.

I have the same thing op, many many miscarriages but we do now have 2 beautiful children. It’s like Russian roulette isn’t it..very hard and unfair. Don’t give up hope, statistically you should have a successful pregnancy eventually, although I know it’s so so hard. I would push for further tests for recurrent miscarriage as it may be something else on top of the balanced translocation, but as soon as you mention that they don’t offer any further referrals. Wishing you luck x

I'm so, so sorry.
Life is so bloody unfair sometimes.
Sending love.

I am very sorry for your losses. I have had multiple miscarriages and it is heartbreaking.

As well as looking at testing for recurrent miscarriage, would you consider speaking to someone like a counsellor? The Miscarriage Association can put you in touch with someone who can help.

Take care of yourself.

It's pure sh☆t.

R u under a genetic counsellor?

My heartfelt hugs from me to you. It is truly awful. I'm so bloody sorry and it so bloody unfair.

DO you both have it / carrier? PGD is a treatment line to go down you are probably eligible on the NHS for at least one round if not more. Are you under a geneticist?

I’m sorry. It’s awfu- poor you

I’m so sorry.

Namechanger16 do you mind me asking if yours were conceived naturally or through IVF? We don't meet the criteria so my only choice is to go through this over and over naturally until it happens. Or doesn't. I can't see it ever happening, my outlook is so so bleak at the moment. I have no hope left. I can't picture it ever happening to me.

I think I will see a counselor. I've been trying to deal with this alone but I'm starting to really feel such strong emotions now that I'm scared. I don't care what happens to me anymore. I hate myself so much that I feel I want to hurt myself just as punishment. That sounds ridiculous. I'm usually such a logical thinking type of person but this has ruined me.

Thank you everyone x

I am the carrier. DH is perfectly healthy. It's just me who doesn't work the way they should. Which makes me feel incredibly guilty.

There’s nothing of much comfort to say other than it’s totally, horribly unfair and that you’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this hell.