To say its not a disease its a habit which started with choice. Alcoholism

[TreeFu]

My mother is a prolific binge drinker much to the detriment of myself and others around her, she has accepted she has a problem with drink but cannot be bothered to do anything to change her habits.

She can and does go for periods of time without touching one drop of alcohol, this is when she has no money to access it. During those periods she is just fine without it but as soon as she has access to money, she will binge until it runs out.

AIBU to believe this has nothing to do with disease and is down to her being weak willed, selfish and enjoying booze more than she cares about the wellbeing of those around her.

Well said Navigator.

tigerpaws57 the primary reason I call my alcoholic, "my alcoholic" us to separate the qualities of the human being I knew before alcoholism started to affect them. It's a mental separation, some of the terrible things my alcoholic has done because of alcohol, in a sober person you would think they are a sociopath commiting crimes against humanity. Alcohol alters so many behaviours we take for granted as reasonable or acceptable, that some how to continue to have any type of involvement, you have to make that separation or you go mad.

How many of us have thought "I'm crazy" for having to take on board some of the things the alcoholic does, and deal with it and sort it and then pick up the pieces.

I agree OP. Alcoholics - particularly those with children - are selfish and weak willed. My father was/is an alcoholic and he’s an inherently selfish man. My best friends mother is also an alcoholic and she is so selfish it’s unbelievable. Yes people who become dependent on alcohol are often doing to to numb pain/trauma but it’s still a choice and if you have children it’s unforgivably selfish to continue to make that choice.

CollyWombles Has your dh tried AA? Each group has a slightly different ethos, but some groups are really good and turn the transition phase into something more positive.

I'm sorry you are going through this op, I haven't read all of the thread, but just wanted to say that stopping alcohol is not just a choice and alcoholism is most definitely a disease. In fact the definition of disease is....

"a disorder of structure or function in a human, animal, or plant, especially one that produces specific symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury."

Alcoholism is a disorder of the brain, just like any mental health condition. Like other posters have said, do you think anyone chooses to go through the horrors. Whatever other people think and experience (and yes it is awful for friends and relatives), trust me that it is just as awful for the alcoholic.

Alcoholism involves the neural pathways in the brain and it is not just a choice.

Why do you think people who are in AA continue to go after not drinking for years? It is the same as someone who has a thyroid problem and has to take tablets for the rest of their lives.

At the same time I can understand the lack of compassion for people who are alcoholics. They are awful to be around and it destroys lives. I would highly recommend Alanon to anyone who is a friend or family member of an alcoholic.

TheNavigator I am not at all sanctimonious and I appreciate and understand that having someone with alcohol problems in your life has been an entirely negative experience for you. My point was that that is not the experience for everyone. I had someone in MY life with serious alcohol problems which destroyed their life but despite being very closely involved with them, their contribution to my life was far more positive than negative